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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27376591">Home is where the heart is</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedBatons/pseuds/RedBatons'>RedBatons</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heart of the cards [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Black Widow (Comics), Black Widow (Movie 2020), Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>And Natasha makes Laura mad, And Pepper loves them as well, And is heart borken, And it makes her unresonable, Awesome Laura Barton, BAMF Laura Barton, BAMF Maria Hill, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Bucky Barnes &amp; Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton &amp; Natasha Romanov Friendship, Clint Barton Needs a Hug, Clint and Laura Barton's Family, Clint is crazy, F/F, F/M, Laura doesnt know what to do, Laura is frustrated, Laura is hurt, Laura is too, Maria Hill &amp; Natasha Romanov Friendship, Maria loves the Bartons, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Needs a Hug, Natasha Romanov hurt, Natasha Romanov is struggeling, POV Laura, POV Laura Barton, PTSD, Pepper Potts Feels, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Laura Barton, Protective Pepper Potts, Protective Steve Rogers, She is very protective of them, She need time to heal, Steve blames himself, While Clint is confused</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 12:08:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>69,901</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27376591</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedBatons/pseuds/RedBatons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Clint was crazy. Laura already knew this. But the thing was, she was a bit crazy herself. Her husband was a former agent for SHIELD, and her best friend happened to be the deadliest woman alive. Her husband had been brainwashed by an alien, and her friend had delivered on her door with a hole in her stomach. Surely it couldn’t get any worse.</p><p>Sequel to Never far from home (but can be a stand-alone to)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Clint Barton &amp; Maria Hill, Clint Barton &amp; Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton &amp; Pepper Potts, Clint Barton &amp; Steve Rogers, Clint Barton &amp; Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Cooper Barton &amp; Natasha Romanov, Cooper Barton &amp; Wanda Maximoff, James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Natasha Romanov, James "Bucky" Barnes &amp; Steve Rogers, Laura Barton &amp; Maria Hill, Laura Barton &amp; Natasha Romanov, Laura Barton &amp; Steve Rogers, Laura Barton &amp; Wanda Maximoff, Lila Barton &amp; Natasha Romanov, Lila Barton &amp; Wanda Maximoff, Maria Hill &amp; Natasha Romanov, Maria Hill &amp; Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanov &amp; Tony Stark, Pepper Potts &amp; Natasha Romanov, Pepper Potts/Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers &amp; Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff &amp; Natasha Romanov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Heart of the cards [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1644847</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>89</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sequel to Never far from home but can be a stand-alone too.</p><p>Okay, let's watch me fail at NANOWRIMO. The last time I tried was blackpepper. and like let's not talk about that because that went awful. I still want to finish blackpepper. but like... doesn't seem to go that well now does it?</p><p>And no, this is not TAHIT don't worry!</p><p>Anyway, until next time, make it a great week and we'll see when next time is.</p><p>Holy shit I'm stressed about this one</p><p>Red/S-B (yes this is still me sendrick-bechloe if you didn't know I changed my name already.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Laura's heart was racing in her chest. She didn't know why but she felt like something was really wrong. Her guts were telling her something was off, and she didn't know what it was.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Laura almost screamed when the phone went off in the room. Even the kids reacted when their mom jumped reacting to the sound. Maybe it was her post-pregnant brain that was going crazy. She did have a lot of hormones in her system. That was just a fact.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nate had been born October the 6th and like every other parent, they thought he was perfect. The big kids were great, helping if they needed it. Cooper was almost 11 now. And he could do most things around the house. He was also a great extra pair of eyes if they needed some on Lila.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The family didn't feel that much different after the new addition, which was very nice. So why was she feeling like her heart was bleeding?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Laura watched Clint look down on his phone with a small frown before disappearing out of the room. She was now stranded in a room with three kids where one was only a baby who was trying to nap. Of course, he started to cry the second the phone rang. And obviously getting him to calm down now was close to impossible.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Bouncing him wasn't helping and he didn't need a new diaper, so feeding him was the one thing left to try. Like the two others, he was a good eater and latched on more or less immediately. But even while he was feeding all Laura could think about was Clint who seemed to be away for a ridiculously long time.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>When he did come back, he was upset. She could tell. The way he was holding around his phone, and his eyebrows who formed a frown.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Kids go upstairs and pack. Kent invited you two to sleepover at theirs, I said yes. Now go." Clint said, waving at them. His voice seemed sharp and annoyed, and Laura stopped looking at him confused as she tried to transfer Nate into his crib.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Excuse me?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Decided it just now. I said I thought it was a good idea. Perfect timing. Now go, hurry they will be here any minute." Clint said as he pushed them out of the room. The second they left Clint almost forcefully shut the sliding door to the living room. They never ever used that door ever. What was going on?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Steve and Maria called," Clint said, turning to Laura with a serious and stressed look, dropping his phone on a chair.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"As in Steve Rogers?" Laura asked, already having a very bad feeling about where this was going.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It was an accident at HQ. Natasha. They are bringing her here now." Laura could feel her whole body freeze. She wasn't ready. Not again. She couldn't bear it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She was already in tears even before the quinjet landed, and she almost fell to the ground when Steve carried an unconscious body into the house. Natasha was lying in his arms with her eyes closed. She had a big abrasion covering the left side of the forehead and temple and her arm in a sling as if it was doing anything in that position. She was only dressed in a small crop top and loose pants showing the huge pat covering most of her abdomen right side.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria was trailing behind Steve with a small bag of Laura that was just assuming it was first aid equipment. The woman gave her a small look before she followed Steve into the living room forcing Laura to drag herself after them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>By the time she made it inside Natasha had been placed on the couch, still with her eyes closed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What happened?" Laura's voice cracked as she looked at the small woman.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"An accident. Should never have happened. She told me multiple times to not go through with it, but I did. It was my fault." Steve's voice was low, and he was clearly very down himself. Maria smiled at him carefully before turning to him fully, saying with a low voice.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Maybe we should just show them." She was looking at him with a soft smile as if she wasn't blaming him but trying to help him heal instead. Steve straightened up before looking Laura in the eyes nodding.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Maria messed around in her bag before she picked out a tablet. She spent a few minutes going through something and in the meantime, Laura looked at Natasha who was still out cold.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We gave her something to help her sleep," Maria said before she asked. Laura only nodded knowing what she was implying without her having to say.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"This. Is what happened." Maria handed Clint the tablet and Laura jumped closer to him and Steve to see what was on it. It was a paused video. Natasha was mid-jump between what she was guessing was supposed to be building models in a training arena. Right in front of her was Wanda keeping her eyes locked at something just outside camera angle.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Clint touched the screen after an affirmative nod from Maria and the security footage started playing. They watched Natasha jump a few more of the jumps as if they were dodging some kind of blast. Wanda was always two seconds in front of Natasha as the redhead kept yelling instructions and Wanda following them.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>After the fourth jump, the video switched angle to a wide corner shot, and it was first now they could see them jumping away from War machine's blasts. They seemed dangerously real, denting a few of the corners of the buildings they were jumping between.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Natasha kept going between looking at the girl in front of her and Rhodey, but as the shots got more frequent, she could tell the girl got more and more unsure of herself. It was no time to second guess the jumps here. And while Laura was sure alone Natasha wouldn't have any problems with the exercise, she had another one to watch out for now forcing her to slow down a few times, making the jumps harder on her as well.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She had just directed the young member to what seemed like an easy jump before she screamed out in panic.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"WAIT NO!" Laura could hear Natasha scream through the screen just as Steve turned around to hide from what was on screen. Only a millisecond later Laura watched the blast make contact and she got hit in the side taking the blow from what should have hit Wanda in the head.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>In shock, Laura grabs Clint's arm, in horror of watching Natasha's limp body fall to the floor hitting with a force that made her slide multiple feet across the stone floor. Only just out of reach she can see Wanda reach out after her as she encased herself in a red mist only just softening the blow, making sure the doesn't hit the air supply out of herself, landing with a loud thud and groan.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She can see the girl struggle as she tries to force herself up from the floor. Just on the bottom of the screen Laura can see Steve and Sam run up to them and Rhodey landing but her attention is still on Wanda. The girl is more or less crawling to Natasha and not before she reaches after her again a red flash blinds them and they hear a loud scream.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She doesn't need to ask who it belongs to. She is so familiar with the voice, but god she wished the cry belonged to somebody else.</em>
</p><p>"What happened?!" Laura turned around to Maria with a horrified look in her eyes.</p><p>"Natasha!" Laura immediately tuned her head back not waiting for an answer as she watched Steve sprint over to the unconscious body.</p><p>Natasha was lying on her right side with her hair over her face and you could only barely see an outline of a face. Her body wasn't moving, and Laura could barely see her back rise and fall with the small weak gasps for air.</p><p>"Oh my god" Laura retched as the Steve on the screen turned the body around. Laura pushed the screen violently away from her and into Clint's chest, stumbling up on her feet.</p><p>The picture of Natasha's bloody face and destroyed right side was burning in her vision as she tumbled over to the kitchen falling over the sink as she felt her whole stomach twist.</p><p>She was breathing heavily feeling her head spin around. Natasha's scream was ringing in her ears as she felt everything she ate four hours ago, get forced out of her.</p><p>She felt dizzy and nothing was making sense anymore. Natasha, she had looked so… no it wasn't real. It couldn't be real.</p><p>Even with the distance of the camera, you could see her whole right side had been covered in blood as something had almost exploded on her while her left side was scraped apart like somebody had gaited her skin with a grater.</p><p>Laura moaned loudly holding around herself when she felt another wave of her body completely shutting down. She could feel her body shake and sweat on her forehead was starting to form.</p><p>Her vision was blurry, and she couldn't see anything in front of her. Only the silhouette of Natasha's body and the painted line of blood on the floor she had left behind when she slid across the hard concrete.</p><p>Two strong arms made her look up. She was sure it was Clint, standing behind her supporting her, but to her surprise it was Maria holding her up, looking at her carefully.</p><p>"It's okay Laura." The woman looked down on her with a soft understanding look in her eyes and Laura only gave her a defeated nod feeling her whole body go limp and it all turned black.</p>
<hr/><p>Natasha was sitting at the kitchen table looking at her with a concerned look in her eyes. Her red, shoulder long, hair was framing a beautiful young face, and Laura couldn't remember the last time she had met somebody so young with such a mature way of life.</p><p>She was barely 20 and somehow this woman seemed to have enough knowledge to last you a lifetime.</p><p>Laura could talk about anything in the world and somehow it seemed like this young girl knew everything about everything. She knew more languages that Laura could list up in 10 seconds. And she could probably beat Laura in any game or sport with her eyes closed. And still, it was something about the way she was carrying herself. As if she wasn't worth a penny.</p><p>Laura knew Natasha was bearing a lot of bad memories everywhere she went. Her past was nothing Laura had ever tried to snoop into or drag out of her. All she really knew was that it had been hard on the young woman. But even when that was the case, you couldn't tell.</p><p>Natasha looked like a normal human for the most part. Not counting her always on edge look, she seemed pretty normal. Of course, Laura would argue that Natasha was maybe slightly above average when it came to natural beauty. And this woman, with her green eyes and toned body, you couldn't help yourself when you enviably threw a second glance at her direction when you first laid your eyes on her.</p><p>Knowing Natasha believed her self-worth was so low, pained Laura. This woman had always kept an eye on her family from day one, but she never seemed to take care of herself and her own needs. Or at least not the same way she always cared for them.</p><p>Laura's thoughts got interrupted by a soft small voice.</p><p>"How did you know?" Laura turned around and looked at the other woman who was still looking at her with a thoughtful distant look.</p><p>"Know what?" Laura answered softly, putting down the plate she was drying before hanging up the towel on a knob after drying herself off.</p><p>"How did you know Clint loved you? And how did you know you loved him?" Laura stopped and looked at the woman who had now lost herself completely, staring out into nothing as if the room was empty.</p><p>She thought about it for a second because she had never thought about it like that before. She had known Clint for a long time and they never had like the official anniversary and like "the first date" everyone else seemed to have. She didn't even remember how it all went and how they started to date in the first place.</p><p>"Oh, Talia I don't know. It just felt right." Laura said after a short amount of time. She looked at Natasha while she took a seat on the opposing side of the table, smiling at her softly as she watched the woman come back to earth.</p><p>"But how?" Natasha said blinking to meet her eyes. Her eyes seemed confused as if she had no idea what she was talking about. At the same time, her body language seemed low and insecure. As if she felt guilty for feeling the way she did. Guilty of her feelings.</p><p>Laura had seen this before. It wasn't uncommon that Natasha would back up into her shell, but it always stung watching the woman show such uncomfortable feelings.</p><p>"I… I don't know. I just felt safe around him, and I know I love it when he is happy. And I knew I always wanted him to be safe." Natasha tilted her head moving her eyebrows into a frown.</p><p>"I just felt right. I just felt at home."</p><p>Laura wasn't sure if her head was exploding or if this was the world's worst hangover. She honestly could not tell; it really could be both.</p>
<hr/><p>"Hi" A small voice caught her attention. She didn't recognize it at first. She turned to the right with a frown, not sure what she was expecting to see. To her surprise, it was Maria again who sat beside her bed with a magazine in her hand.</p><p>"He is downstairs with Natasha if you want me to get him?" Maria's voice was soft as she handed her a glass of water. She smiled at her with a small smile as she dragged her chair closer to Laura's bed. She had her hair up in a loose ponytail and a blanket over her legs. Nothing about her screamed "a superspy".</p><p>Ignoring the question she asked, Laura only said.</p><p>"How is she?" Laura let out a small groan as pushed herself up in the bed, feeling her head slightly spin around. It was dark outside now. Maria and Steve had arrived around 5 pm, now it was just past dusk, meaning she had been out for a while.</p><p>"Alive," Maria said with a heavy sight before continuing. "Of course, your reaction is very understandable." She paused for a moment, and Laura watched as the other woman closed her eyes, thinking about what words to use.</p><p>Maria opened her eyes again before saying. "Pepper's wasn't much better." Maria looked at her with something that seemed like guilt.</p><p>Pepper. Laura hadn't even thought about her, but surely, she was destroyed too. She had known Natasha for 5 years and they had basically been dating the whole time. She was probably horrified. At least Laura had Natasha with her, Pepper was left behind. Of course, Maria would update her, but still. She wasn't here to watch over Natasha. To make sure she was getting better and was getting everything she needed.</p><p>Laura felt a small feeling of guilt build up. She couldn't do anything about it now, but Pepper really only on the sideline on this one. Having to lay all her trust in somebody she didn't know.</p><p>She should probably check up on her later. They weren't close by any means. They had talked to each other a few times, but only because of Natasha. She wasn't even sure if she actually knew Laura was Clint's wife. After the team had stumbled into her door the secret was long gone, but she wasn't sure if Natasha or anyone else had really told Pepper what had happened in that period.</p><p>She could feel her head starting to drift. Pepper hadn't been there when the accident happened, but what about the team that had.</p><p>Steve was very clearly affected by the whole thing. But what about Rhodey who had shot her? And Wanda, the one Natasha had taken so naturally under her wing?</p><p>"What about Wanda?" Laura said turning to the woman fully as she placed the glass carefully on the nightstand.</p><p>Wanda had been right there when Natasha fell. Heck, she had been in the accident herself only 10 feet away or so when they crashed to the floor. She had seen her try to reach out after her, but not been able to.</p><p>As if Maria knew exactly what she was looking for she let out a small sigh before saying.</p><p>"She, like the rest of the team, didn't take it well. We know Natasha wouldn't want us to make a big fuss over things, but something… happened." Laura looked at her confused, she knew she didn't need to ask, Maria would get to it. Still, she was more than just confused at this point.</p><p>"Wanda said something after she woke up, but we didn't understand what she meant, and now she is self-isolating herself. Natasha was the only person she really connected with, but after what happened she hasn't been able to look anyone in the eyes. We thought maybe bringing Natasha here would give everyone the time to process everything as well as keeping her with somebody she trusts while she recovers."</p><p>"How long? How long are we expecting the recovering time to be?"</p><p>"We don't know, but I want her to stay for a while," Maria said and Laura nodded slowly. This wasn't the first time Maria had sent Natasha in house arrest. She just had to make the best out of it. Maria trusted them to help Natasha back on her feet and she was going to do so. Of course, she was.</p><p>Steve had left right after Laura had passed out. Apparently, he too didn't want to witness Natasha's struggles. Laura knew the pair was very close. The two of them fighting HYDRA a year back, and then now leading the new Avengers. Laura knew Natasha trusted him with her life if she had to.</p><p>Having to feel like he was the one in charge when something like this happens to a dear friend. It had to be a living nightmare. His life had been turned upside down after he came out of the ice, but Natasha had been there, helping him, guiding him, from day one. She had been through it herself, learning how to shift and adapt to a new modern life.</p><p>Even in this household, Natasha had been constantly changing their life. And most importantly trying to help to piece it back together when all things failed.</p><p>After Laura met Clint, her whole life changed. Laura was married to a man who formerly worked for extra-governmental military counter-terrorism and intelligence agency. Her best friend was the Black Widow, the deadliest woman alive.</p><p>Nothing about their life was normal, but that was just how it was now.</p><p>Over the years she had dealt with a lot of hard and slightly weird scenarios, but this, this was something she still couldn't wrap her head around. Obviously, situations, where one of them ended up wounded, was something she would never be prepared for. And while similar situations had occurred before it hurt so damn much every time.</p><p>Natasha had been a part of her life for a decade, and Laura loved her more than words could ever describe. She was the aunt for their kids, and her husband's best friend and partner. She had been there from the start and Laura looked at her as part of their family even if she wasn't by blood. She trusted Natasha with her life.</p><p>Laura was shaking as she walked into the room Natasha was staying in five hours later. It was past midnight and she should probably sleep, but she couldn't go to bed without seeing her. She knew Maria was taking great care of her, so she was probably fine. She was just a bit worried. She still hadn't quite understood what had happened, and she did not want to see that video footage ever again.</p><p>Natasha looked so small and out of place in the guestroom. They had decided to keep her downstairs for multiple reasons. One of them was simply not wanting to put her body under more stress moving her up the staircase. But the guestrooms as also more secluded than her actual bedroom in the house. Her room was just on top of the staircase and got passed countless times throughout the day. The guestroom on the other hand was tucked in the back corner of the house. And it was really no reason to go that direction other than actually walking to that specific room. It would keep her away from the kids and any suspicion from their end. As well as away from any sounds and loud noises that came with a family of 5.</p><p>Even when Laura knew having her here was for the best it felt wrong. As if it wasn't real.</p><p>With her face scraped and bandaged around most of her body, it almost looked like a scene from a horror movie rather than real life. She didn't belong here.</p><p>She should have been in her room upstairs, not in their dumb tiny guestroom downstairs.</p><p>She should have been there sitting in her own bed, leaning against the headboard with a small smirk on her face as Laura walked into the room. She would say something like "shouldn't you be in bed, sleeping" and Laura would have laughed at her and told her that if anyone should, it should have been Natasha because she never seemed to do so.</p><p>Natasha never laid in the middle of the bed like this. And she never slept on her back either. She was either curled up in a ball or leaning on her side. The cover of the bed was also never as neat as it was now. Natasha always tossed around in the bed, and a lot of the time she kicked the duvet completely off if she wasn't already laying on top of it which was mostly the case.</p><p>None of this was right, it felt wrong. All of it.</p><p>"Oh Natasha, how could this happen?" Laura whispered with tears in her eyes. It was like her insides were screaming as she walked over to the woman. It felt so unfair. Natasha didn't deserve any of this, and somehow it always seemed like the universe wanted to play with her.</p><p>She could see dried blood under the bandage, and while the cuts on her face were healing it wasn't like her normally beautiful face. Not the same fire in her eyes, and not the same soft but slightly smirky smile either.</p><p>"Please get better Nat, please don't leave me." Laura's voice completely broke as tears flowed down her face.</p><p>This wasn't the first time Natasha had gotten wounded, but for some reason, for the first time ever, it finally sunk in that one day she might lose her.</p><p>Laura sniffed softly, trying to wipe her tears from her face without any success. The tears were already streaming down and all she could do was accept it as she curled up on the bed with her head resting just beside Natasha's careful not to wake her.</p><p>Laura woke up by a small groan. She couldn't remember what happened before she heard another small whimper. She could recognize Natasha's voice anywhere at this point.</p><p>"Natasha?" Laura whispered, lifting her head slowly. Natasha was already sitting in the bed with her eyes staring down on her hands as they were shaking uncontrollably.</p><p>"Nat?" Laura repeated, jumping closer to her, grabbing her hands in her own, forcing her to look at her. Natasha's eyes were filled with pain as she turned to her, and Laura could tell, something was very, very wrong.</p><p>"Hey, it's okay. I'm here, look at me." Laura said softly, hoping Clint or Maria heard her so they would come and help her.</p><p>Natasha looked at her with big eyes nodding slightly before her head fell on Laura's chest a bit faster and more forcefully than she was prepared for.</p><p>Natasha was shaking and was now leaning forwards in very visible pain from the tear caused by the shot. She was groaning loudly making Laura's heart skip a beat.</p><p>"Shh, it's okay Natasha." She could hear some movement in the staircase, like a fast run, but not before she heard a loud cry. Shit. Nate.</p><p>Immediately she felt Natasha turn stiff reacting to the piercing cry of the child. Of course, they couldn't send their infant away, and somehow Nate, the last of the bunch decided to be the lighter sleeper of all of the kids. The one kid that got that trait from Laura and not Clint.</p><p>"It's only Nate, it's okay Natasha. Stay with me okay." Laura continued trying to keep herself cool as she heard Nathaniel scream from the other side of the house. This was not good.</p><p>They had had this dilemma before but that was back then they only had two. Now they had three, where one of them was an infant.</p><p>Natasha was only leaning on her giving her a forced nod before she let out a cry.</p><p>"Ahh," Natasha whined loudly leaning more into her almost screaming in pain. She was shaking so much Laura was feeling her own body starting to copy the movements. It scared her how Natasha was struggling so much knowing she had the craziest pain threshold.</p><p>It was a twisted forced cry and Laura felt so helpless and she watched the woman twist in her arms. And while it was an awful thought, she almost wished Natasha would pass out rather than having to deal with this.</p><p>Laura slowly tried to move Natasha away from her, either to lay her down or move her into a more comfortable position. She tried to get some words out of her throat to try to give her some comforting words, but her throat was blocked, and she could only try to help in silence.</p><p>It felt like half a year of listening to children's cry before Laura heard some moments downstairs, but locked in her position Laura only kept hugging around the woman who was gasping for air.</p><p>"Maria?" Laura whipped her head around when she saw the brunette in the corner of her eyes, looking at her rushing into the room almost running into the door on her way.</p><p>"What is wrong? What happened?" Maria jogged over to them, slipping onto the bed beside Laura who was still wrapped around Natasha who let out a loud groan.</p><p>"I… I don't know. She just woke up already in pain." Laura stuttered trying to push Natasha off her to let Maria look at her. Both Maria and Laura stopped when Natasha met their eyes. Her eyes were wild and screaming in pain as she grabbed Laura's hand digging her nails into her skin. Laura didn't need to look at her hand to know Natasha had drawn blood from her already.</p><p>"Shit. She is bleeding." Maria pushed Natasha backward before turning her so she was pushed up against Laura. It was a fast and hard move, not giving Natasha any room to fight her when she pushed her forcefully to get a better look at her. Laura hadn't even noticed the gash was now pouring blood and the whole bandage was already soaking.</p><p>"Hold her still, I need to get my kit." Maria jumped off the bed hurrying out of the room. Laura looked down on Natasha who was already curling up in her arms trying to apply pressure on her wound, still shaking so much she was more or less painting blood on them and the sheets.</p><p>Laura could still clearly hear Nathaniel crying upstairs, and she knew that he probably wanted to nurse, and while a bottle could work that was not a guarantee. But she couldn't leave Natasha now.</p><p>"Okay." Maria was jogging into the room again with a big bag with her. She almost jumped the bed before forcefully pushing Natasha on her back again, sitting on her legs to prevent her from moving them.</p><p>Laura watched Maria open the big bag. It was a big first aid kit. A kit that was way more complex than the three they owned. With fancy equipment, she didn't even recognize.</p><p>And yes Laura did have three kits socked around in her house. Three quite big and very much full first aid kits that she always seemed to have to restock for some reason.</p><p>Maria had a hard grip around the redhead while she was scanning the contents in her bag. Natasha groaned loudly when Maria shifted, fighting the other agent so she could pressure the wound herself, screaming in agony as Maria pushed her away again.</p><p>"Nat. I know you are in a lot of pain right now, but you need to trust me, okay?" Maria's voice was firm as talked to her while she was carefully starting to remove the bandage. She didn't get a reply from the redhead. Natasha was only moving her head, shaking and panting loudly.</p><p>Trying to do this in an organized and neat way was no point. Natasha was already in so much pain, so trying to unwrap her systematically wouldn't work. It took too long, only dragging out the time and pain. If it was up to Natasha, she would probably have dealt with it in a much more brutal way.</p><p>"I would turn around or close your eyes if you didn't like what you saw on the video," Maria mumbled as she picked up a pair of scissors to cut the bandage open. Maria was covered in blood already when Natasha arched and yelped as Maria started to fiddle with her wound.</p><p>Laura only nodded before turning her eyes down at Natasha who was at this point just whimpering. She had sweat on her whole face as her body continued to fight the pain, very visibly doing everything in her power not to kick Maria in the face and off her.</p><p>"Okay Nat, soon done," Maria mumbled before she stopped moving. Laura had a feeling she was looking at her. She had still not looked up from her spot, not wanting to look at what she just assumed was a serious injury. Laura had seen a lot of injuries in her life. Clint and Natasha were always hurting themselves, but she knew she couldn't handle this one.</p><p>"Natasha, I need you to take a very deep breath. This will hurt, but we didn't want to inject you with it if we didn't know it was necessary. So just take a deep breath." Maria's voice was soft while she worked, but Laura could tell she was nervous.</p><p>Natasha's scream was heartbreaking. She screamed before arching her back as Maria injected her with whatever she put in her. Her body was shaking as she closed her eyes, and all Laura could do was hug her tighter helping her through it.</p><p>It lasted maybe 30 seconds before she let out a loud sigh and Laura could feel her body relax in her arms. She could see the feature in her face soften and finally, she could tell the girl was able to relax.</p><p>"You can look up now" Maria's voice was soft, and even if she said it was okay now, Lauren kept her eyes down for a few more seconds just to be on the safe side. When she opened them, Maria was trying to wipe off the blood from her hands, but the wound was covered up under a new bandage and the woman was finally resting.</p><p>Natasha had already passed out in her arms and her chest was rising and falling in an even and slow rhythm.</p><p>"Hopefully this will help. It is a newly developed painkiller which helps you heal, but as I said, it is new." Laura nodded slowly looking down at Natasha who was long gone.</p><p>"Thank you, Maria," Laura said hugging around Natasha with a protective smile. She was so lucky to have Maria. She had no idea what she would do without her.</p><p>"It's okay, Laura. If you want, I can stay with her and you go and check up on Nate?" Maria said as she slowly started to pack all of the first aid equipment. Laura nodded slowly. She probably should check up on Nathaniel and Clint even if she wanted to stay with Natasha.</p><p>Laura slipped out from underneath Natasha before making her way to the door. Immediately she could see Maria drop the kit, turning her attention to Natasha making sure she was laying comfortably, moving the pillow under her head, and tucking her in. She smiled at Laura before waving her out the door.</p><p>She didn't know why, but she felt some kind of guilt when she walked into the bedroom finding Clint with Nate. Nathaniel was sleeping in Clint's arms, and while he was sleeping, he looked pretty happy.</p><p>Clint was the complete opposite. It wasn't a discreet look telling her that he was annoyed with her. And it felt a bit unfair because surely, he didn't blame her?</p><p>"How is she?" Clint mumbled as he carefully transferred the boy over and into the crib. He didn't look at her, only down on the child. The tone was cold and almost annoyed as he spoke. It was unfamiliar and painful to hear.</p><p>"Fine… Asleep." Laura answered slowly, looking at him with a careful eye. She was planning on telling him what had happened, but she wasn't sure if she wanted anymore. Not when he acted like that. He gave her no attention and he didn't sound like he wanted to know at all.</p><p>"Thank you for taking care of that, I mean her," Clint said with a small sigh. Immediately she felt a pang of guilt. And for some reason, she felt the need to try to defend herself and her actions.</p><p>"Yeah, I mean of course. I'll do anything for Nat, like she always does, you know, always doing whatever she can for us?" It sounded like a question the way she phrased it. It wasn't. But the look he gave her, the disapproving, almost overbearing look made her feel so small and unsure of herself, which was ridiculous because she had done nothing wrong. He had spoken about Natasha as if she had been a chore and not a friend. Laura had always had the instinct to protect Natasha but she never thought she had to do so from her husband.</p><p>"I just hope her recovery will be fast. Maria said she didn't know what we should expect. Hopefully, she will be back on her feet soon." Laura added with a small weak voice. Again, it felt so dumb having to defend it all. Clint shouldn't be looking at her like that. If anything, he should have been down with Natasha right now. But ever since the video he had barely shown any sign of wanting to interact with his partner. She didn't know why, and it felt like he was punishing her as if Natasha chose to be lying there helplessly in pain.</p><p>"Yeah, you and me both." He only answered coldly before walking out of the nursery leaving an even more devastated now than before Laura behind.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I don’t even know any more guys. Ronin appearance idefk. Not gonna even bother to try to like justify it rn. Just read and enjoy. </p>
<p>I have a note at the end if you still have no clue.</p>
<p>And yes, guys this fanfic is dark. It’s a lot of shit happening all the time. If you have read never far from home, the first one in this series, you know Natasha never gets a break. That’s just how it is. If you haven't (that's totally fine don't worry you don't have to) now you know. I love torturing Natasha. She do be my nr one tho. </p>
<p>I am getting super frustrated with FF net like I'm fuming so there is that. Like I have my majority of readers there so it’s just really frustrating. </p>
<p>Anyways have a good whatever you're having rn, day, night, week, whatever you want, and I'll talk to you all soon. Love you all. </p>
<p>Red/S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>If anyone were to ever hear about Laura's life, they would have thought her life was crazy. Her husband who was a former spy, and Natasha, her best friend, was a former assassin, and now they were both a part of the Avengers. They were superheroes. Fighting aliens and breaking helicarriers.</p>
<p>While Laura could see where they were coming from, thinking her life had to be kinda crazy with family members like that, truth was, it kinda wasn't. Or at least not as much as it seemed. Sure, it wasn't like a perfectly normal life, obviously, but Laura would argue it wasn't that different.</p>
<p>Clint and Laura had a silent agreement. Technically they had never really talked about it out loud, but they had agreed in silence. And it was simple really. Clint's work-life would never merge with the life they had.</p>
<p>Why? The answer was simple; none of them really wanted it to.</p>
<p>What Laura knew about his work and his mission was what he wanted to tell, but the work he actually brought home was minimal. Shield wasn't a part of their family lifestyle. And even when people like Maria Hill and Phil Coulson had occasionally visited, they had kept away from work as much as possible. To be honest, Laura was pretty sure that was the main reason the two of them did visit too, just to get a break.</p>
<p>The life Clint was living was like a double life, and the two were never to be mixed because they were so different. Like water and oil. As if it was designed. Two lives that were never meant to merge.</p>
<p>Clint was a man who loved his job, but he was also a father who never wanted to bring any danger to his family and loved ones. SHIELD knew and respected that. They always had.</p>
<p>This norm changed over the years, but never because anyone wanted it to.</p>
<p>Laura was well aware the two lives were starting to mix more than ever before. It was happening faster than expected, and they needed to adjust, they needed to change.</p>
<p>When Laura met Clint years back, he never talked about his work. Laura had of course asked about it a few times, and he had replied he was an archer, but he didn't say anything more, she decided not to push any further. It wasn't before he got offered to work for SHIELD, he told her about the intelligence community. It was always vague and little details. But Laura didn't care, she never pushed. And eventually, he told her more and more.</p>
<p>The more missions he got, of course, the more of a topic it became. But still, when they were at home, he never looked at his paperwork for too long. What he told was mostly to make sure Laura had some sort of knowledge of what was going on to keep her heart and worry under control. Which was something Laura appreciated very much. Because knowing he was in such a scary and dangerous business without having any clue of what he was doing in his missions would have been a nightmare.</p>
<p>When Cooper was announced, the line between the two lives became even more clear. Clint had no interest in bringing a secret agency into his son's life. He took a step back from his missions and would rather look at a few more mission reports if it meant he could sit back on a few of the bigger ones.</p>
<p>Natasha was the first big exception to the rule. Not only did Clint agree to a big and seriously dangerous mission, but it was also the first time in years Clint introduced Laura to anyone.</p>
<p>Before Natasha, Clint would always leave his bow just by the door. He would change out of his suit immediately and erase any trace of the mission as fast as he could. But with Natasha, everything changed. Laura's view on SHIELD changed.</p>
<p>Between the three of them, Natasha had always been the one with the biggest desire to keep the two worlds apart. Ironically, she was also the one that made that job completely impossible.</p>
<p>In the beginning, Natasha didn't know a world outside of a mission and her orders. But when she finally did separate the two Laura could tell, her home was a safe haven and an escape for the girl. The redhead hated to work when she was back home, and if she had to, she tried to do it away from them, so they didn't need to be involved.</p>
<p>Natasha was especially careful working around the kids. Sometimes she would read on the tablet around Clint and her, but never around the kids. And Laura had noticed it was actually mostly around her and not Clint. She didn't know why, but she didn't question it either.</p>
<p>Sometimes Laura would forget the harsh reality. About their work and everything that came with it. All of that would be gone and all that would be left was this wonderful family and loving people. These two humans that she adored with all her heart.</p>
<p>But other times, on the bad days, Natasha would remind Laura of the hard reality of the other world.</p>
<p>Natasha would bring two wounded humans through her door, reminding her they were still out there. She would bring nightmares who kept both of them up for hours. She wore scars from a world Laura never had seen. Scars that never went away. She had a cloak of a dark past, and a shadow with a feared name. And no matter how many times she would try, she could never put it away.</p>
<p>Natasha was the obvious bridge between their work and their family life.</p>
<p>Laura was sitting in the living room with Maria on one end of the couch and Clint on the other. Both were very visibly working, not even being slightly discreet about it, which would never have passed 7 years ago. Maria had a frown on her face as she read whatever document in her hands.</p>
<p>Laura was very thankful for Maria being here, knowing very well she had a lot of work besides watching over Natasha.</p>
<p>Laura wished Natasha was with them now. She wished she was sitting beside her looking at some weird document on her tablet, occasionally throwing her a small grimace or a small smile. Instead, she was still in the guest room, recovering. Using what felt like a lifetime just to show any sign of recovery.</p>
<p>It had already been two weeks since Maria and Steve had fallen through their door with Natasha in their arms. Two weeks and they had seen no progress. Natasha was only awake three to five hours a day. She barely ate anything and sometimes it seemed like it had gotten worse rather than better.</p>
<p>Her wound had started to heal, which was the only thing that signalized any progress whatsoever.</p>
<p>Laura was well aware of the drug Maria had been giving her. It scared her that they were now drugging a woman that had the most inhuman pain tolerance in the world to keep her at peace.</p>
<p>It reminded her a lot of the time she got shot by the winter soldier, but at the same time, it also didn't. Back then Natasha had also been very ill, but in a way, it felt even more serious now. Even more real. Of course, it had been very, very real back then as well, but it was something about off this time.</p>
<p>Natasha was still Laura's number one outside of her family. And it hurt her more than words could ever describe watching her fight and struggle.</p>
<p>Maria had turned passive quite fast. Even though she was helping around in the house, as well as being on top of Natasha every single second Laura wasn't on it herself, Laura could tell the woman was very stressed. And considering how much the woman actually was doing around the house, it was understandable, but of course, it didn't help her own nerves watching the former Deputy Director crumbling.</p>
<p>Clint on the other hand had stepped back from Natasha. She didn't know why, but it felt cold and a bit out of character. Laura was so used to him always being so protective over his partner, but now he seemed almost over her.</p>
<p>Of course, at this point, all of her assumptions could be way off. Over the two weeks, Laura hadn't gotten much sleep so maybe she was just being paranoid.</p>
<p>She could feel herself starting to struggle to keep up with everything as Maria started talking to Clint. Maria was talking in a soft but still somewhat firm voice as she updated Clint about something. Laura really had no idea what she was talking about and soon she could feel her head drift. She could hear them talk, but behind her yawns, most of the words got muffed.</p>
<p>She wanted to check up on Natasha again. Her heart never seemed to get to rest anymore and it bugged her so much. The only thing that seemed to really calm her down was being with Natasha, but she couldn't be with her all the time. She still had three kids to look after. Three kids, who all needed attention and care. Especially now that time was hard with their aunt injured and all.</p>
<p>"I'm heading to bed after one last checkup, okay?" Laura said as she turned to the two former spies. They both only nodded at her before she slipped out of the room.</p>
<p>Laura opened the door to the guestroom already scared of the sight that was waiting for her.</p>
<p>Natasha was lying on her side sleeping peacefully. Her hair was neatly tucked behind her ear framing a beautiful and peaceful face. Laura studied her in silence. Watching her chest rise and fall and a small frown appeared on her face before it disappeared into a natural face again as she was dreaming. Her breath was steady and slow.</p>
<p>In and out. In and out.</p>
<p>Laura let out a small sigh before turning around. At least she was alive. It was a slow recovery, but as long as Laura had her here, alive, she couldn't complain. All she needed was her being alive, and as long as she was, Laura knew it would turn out fine. It just had too.</p>
<p>Laura woke up the next morning earlier than expected. Nate had been crying for most of the night and while Clint and herself did switch on checking up on him she felt like she had gotten no sleep. She could always try to go back to sleep, but the odds of that being successful was very low.</p>
<p>She turned to her side so find Clint still sleeping. She wasn't surprised. Heavy sleepers always did seem to get the most sleep, didn't they?</p>
<p>She let out a sight before throwing a leg out of the bed. Letting her eyes fall over Clint behind her one more time before she stood up and walked away from the bed. She grabbed a flannel to wrap herself in before sneaking out the room closing the door carefully behind her.</p>
<p>She needed to pee. She had a few options. Of course, she had her own bathroom, but she didn't want to disturb Clint too much. She could use the family bathroom upstairs probably waking up Nate while doing so or try to go downstairs also probably resulting in waking Nate. Why were all of these options so bad?</p>
<p>Since Natasha was still in the guestroom downstairs Maria had of course gotten her room upstairs while she was staying. The agent hadn't mentioned having to go back to HQ yet, and Laura had a feeling Maria wanted to stay until Natasha at least was well enough to be up on her feet.</p>
<p>As she passed the room to go to the toilet, she could see the door slightly open. And being the super spy, she was, Maria wasn't going to sleep with her door open, so the woman was probably already out and awake.</p>
<p>Maria, like Natasha, was an early bird. They both woke up ridiculously early and went to bed really late. She had no idea how they were both still functioned like that.</p>
<p>Laura on the other hand wasn't really a morning person by choice. Sure, she woke up early every day, even without an alarm. But it was more because she felt she had to, not because she really wanted to. And today was definitely one of those days where she just really needed a few more hours. Just looking at herself in the mirror and at her huge bags under her eyes made her feel worse.</p>
<p>She continued to just look at her reflection for a minute after finishing on the toilet. She was already done with the day, and the day had barely started. She needed to get Nate soon, who most definitely was up awake right now, before he started crying.</p>
<p>The first thing she spotted when she got down into the living room with Nathaniel in her arms, was Maria was sitting by the kitchen table. In front of her, she had her laptop, and in her hand, she had a steaming cup of coffee. Unlike her, she seemed wide awake.</p>
<p>"Good morning Laura," Maria said with a small smile as they entered the room. Her eyes were following them carefully as Laura made her way across the room and into the kitchen.</p>
<p>"Morning" Laura answered back softly taking a seat on the opposing side of the table to start nursing the baby. Modesty was long gone around Maria. And whipping out a boob to feed the child was not uncommon any more. Maria never seemed to care anyway. She never even tossed her a second look, only keeping her eyes to herself.</p>
<p>"Want your one dose of caffeine now?" Maria asked already on her feet knowing very well Laura was gonna answer yes.</p>
<p>"How early is it?" She only replied with a tired voice leaning back on the back of the chair as the child ate.</p>
<p>"Only 4:45" Maria answered with a small chuckle, handing her a cup of coffee. Laura accepted with a small smile, holding tightly around the warm mug with her left hand, supporting Nate with her right.</p>
<p>"Figures. Why are you up so early?" Laura let out a small sigh. Nathaniel was already done feeding and was more or less already asleep. She hated how he already did this. But then again, waking up because of bad sleep only to fall asleep again a few hours later wasn't really an unfamiliar territory in this house considering that was more or less the only thing his aunt did when or if she got any sleep at all. And considering how unstable the household really was right now she couldn't really blame him.</p>
<p>"Natasha spiked" Laura lifted her head slowly to look at Maria. The woman was looking at her with a small reassuring look trying to not make her to worried too early on. It was a nice try, really it was, but Laura could already feel her heart start to speed up.</p>
<p>After Natasha got her first dose of the mysterious pain killer serum thing, Maria had given her a watch to monitor and keep an eye on her and her heart rate. If It got too high for some reason, she would get a notification on her own phone alerting her even if she was somewhere else.</p>
<p>Laura was very thankful Maria was keeping such a close eye on her. But it also worried her that the former agent thought that was necessary in the first place.</p>
<p>"What happened?" Laura tried to keep her voice as calm as possible to make sure Nate didn't wake up.</p>
<p>"Not much. She just woke up in pain. Gave her some painkillers. She fell asleep fast after." Maria said with a small smile. Laura only nodded slowly.</p>
<p>"Went for a run after. Got back around four before taking a shower. It's very nice running around here. Super nice terrain and easy on the body." Maria said with a small chuckle making Laura huff.</p>
<p>"Yeah, so I've heard. I mean Natasha decided to run on said terrain for four hours because of this guy so" Laura said referring to the time Natasha had run away from home, being gone for four hours after Laila had slipped out that Laura was pregnant before she could tell her herself.</p>
<p>Laura made a small eye-roll looking at Nathaniel who was still in her arms. That was a time she definitely did not miss, that was for sure.</p>
<p>Maria let out a soft laugh.</p>
<p>"Well, Natasha is her own category. No fun running with her. Always playing keep up with her. No exceptions" Maria said with a small smile making Laura chuckle. She really was thankful to Maria. Without her, she would have been lost. She made sure Natasha always was fine while also somehow lifting Laura's own mood.</p>
<p>"You should try to get some sleep," Maria stated after a while. The woman was looking at her with a thoughtful look. It wasn't a rude tone, more worried, and caring if anything.</p>
<p>Laura only looked at her. She knew she only tried to be nice but going back to bed now was so unlikely to be successful. That was just how it was.</p>
<p>"Or you could just take ten minutes on the couch. I can take Nate for a bit." Maria added softly. She had finished her cup of coffee in like two minutes and if anything, she felt more dead now than before. Ten minutes would be nice, but she didn't want to bother Maria too much.</p>
<p>As if she was reading her mind Maria quickly added. "It's no problem looking after him, Laura." Laura looked at her for a second before nodding.</p>
<p>After a small transfer, Laura was free to walk over to the couch. Immediately she could see Maria bouncing the child softly as he started to wake up. She observed the two of them for a second before she finally closed her eyes letting her head rest again.</p>
<p>She didn't know how long she had been sleeping. Her head woke up before her eyes and she could hear Maria talk softly to Clint. Not having the energy to open her eyes she just continued to lay there listening to the two of them talk.</p>
<p>"Around 5. She is fine Clint she just needs sleep."</p>
<p>Maria's voice was just a whisper as she talked to him. She seemed to try to talk him down for some decided to keep listening instead of trying to interfere. She could still feel her head kinda spinning, clearly still being very tired and having a need for sleep. Of course, the night before had been bad, but she wasn't aware it was this bad, making her still feel it as much. She was starting to wonder how long she had actually slept last night because her body was telling her she barely had.</p>
<p>"This is all because of Na-"</p>
<p>"Come on, don't blame it on her. She would have been worried regardless if she was here or at HQ. And you have to agree, bringing her was the better move."</p>
<p>Laura heard Maria cut Clint off. Her voice was firm as she stopped him from finishing his sentence. She had no idea what made them fall into this topic. Both of them seemed very worked up. And it was weird hearing them talk about Natasha like that.</p>
<p>"I agree that at the time it felt like it. Now I don't know anymore." Clint's voice drifted. He seemed annoyed. All of it felt kinda out of character. Maybe she had missed something. Whatever it was her head did not have the energy to try to even think. Her head was heavy and tired, and for some reason, she couldn't even hold her thoughts together.</p>
<p>She could hear somebody move around before the backdoor in the kitchen got opened and somebody left. Outside she could hear Clint then yell after the kids. Was he leaving?</p>
<p>She didn't really have the time to wonder before she heard a small sigh from Maria and some new movements. Before she had the brainpower to even try to figure out what was going on, she felt a hand slip under her back and one under her legs and with one swift motion she was off the couch and her head drifted long away and off from the planet and present.</p>
<p>Literally, even if she tried, she remembered nothing from her morning or the day. She had no idea how she got from downstairs to up in her room again. But at least she felt very well-rested.</p>
<p>It was 2 in the afternoon when she woke up. She had been gone for quite a while. But even if she actually felt rested for once, clearly the rest of the house did not.</p>
<p>She had no idea what they were saying but she could hear Maria and Clint. Shouting over each other clearly arguing about something. Please don't say it's the same thing still. Please don't be arguing about Natasha.</p>
<p>She pushed the cover off before slipping out of bed and jogging downstairs, heading for the living room where it clearly was going down.</p>
<p>"And you honestly don't think I didn't think about that? OF COURSE, I DID, but you weren't there you didn't see-"</p>
<p>"Exactly, so why the hell did you drag me and my family into this then!"</p>
<p>"BECAUSE SHE IS YOUR PARTNER!"</p>
<p>"SHE WAS MY PARTNER. ITS PAST TENSE"</p>
<p>"SHE NEEDS YOU"</p>
<p>"DOES THAT INCLUDE NEEDING TO KNOCK OUT MY WIFE?! My priority is with her, and my kids, I don't need extra weight."</p>
<p>Laura just stopped. Shocked she just stood there in the door with her mouth open as she watched the two yelled back and forth.</p>
<p>None of them had seemed to notice her. Both of them just yelled. Raising their voice as if they were fighting for their lives as if this was a world-ending case. And maybe it was.</p>
<p>But even with them yelling and screaming, and when she couldn't even try to imagine something worse, she felt her body freeze up. completely locking up in fear as she felt something against her back. A body standing behind her and a breath softly breathing in her neck.</p>
<p>She felt it. She knew it. It was so familiar.</p>
<p>The yelling died down. They had both noticed. They had both seen the redhead as she stood there. Behind Laura. Watching them with two big eyes.</p>
<p>She could feel her own body slowly move away from the redhead. Taking a step forward before turning around to look at her, before slowly backing up, as if this wasn't a real being in front of her.</p>
<p>Natasha was looking at them. She was completely white in her face and her eyes were huge staring at them in hurt and disbelief.</p>
<p>Laura hadn't had the opportunity to get a good look at her in a while. But there she was, standing in front of them. She only had a loose t-shirt on, barely hanging it one of her shoulder and falling off the other injured side revealing the nasty injury. Her shoulder was destroyed, clearly taken most of the impact as when she fell. It was blue and green, and you could see how it had completely locked out of place before getting relocated later on. And while Maria had taped the shit out of it already Natasha didn't seem to care about the sling, or the brace Maria had recommended her using.</p>
<p>On her bottom half, she had some short. You could still see the big marks from her sliding along the floor along her leg. Again, it really just showcased how bad it still was. It was an awful sight.</p>
<p>Laura knew Natasha's health situation was still very server and needed to be taken very seriously, but it was something about looking at her now. Seeing her standing there so small, that made it just 10 times worse.</p>
<p>"Nat, please be careful; I need you to please sit down on the couch okay?" It was Maria who broke the silence as she slowly made her way over. Her body language was low as she tried to reach out to the other woman.</p>
<p>"Do you not care anymore?" Natasha rejected the hand from the other woman only looking at Clint. Her eyes were starting to get red, and Laura could already see the woman was struggling to breathe properly as her body fought the pain and injuries she was most definitely flaring up right now.</p>
<p>"Tasha, no that's not what I'm saying. I just meant that you need medical attention. And this, you being hurt, is a toll on all of us. It affects the kids too. Like when we had that accident with our car because of Lila…"</p>
<p>"What?" Natasha's voice was shaking now, again backing out of the room as Maria tried to close the distance.</p>
<p>"We just didn't want to make it worse on you and at the same time shielding Cooper and Lila it was the best choice." Clint tried again, only to get cut off.</p>
<p>"You sent me away!"</p>
<p>"No, I –"</p>
<p>"YOU PUT ME IN EXILE!" Laura had never heard Natasha yell like that. She barely raised her voice around them, but now she was on full fire. Screaming as her heart was clearly breaking in front of them.</p>
<p>"FOUR MONTH CLINT! I DIDN'T TALK TO ANY OF YOU FOUR MONTS BECAUSE YOU THREW ME OUT. Threw me out when I needed you." The last part was only a whisper. The woman looked at her for a second before she pushed the whisper away.</p>
<p>"I spent WEEKS trying to understand why you would send me away. For weeks Pepper had to watch me crumble because I thought I did something wrong. Something that could have HURT HER TO."</p>
<p>The woman had barely gotten the sentence out before she let out a heavy groan. She turned around and away for a second leaning forward letting out another loud groan holding around herself.</p>
<p>"I did it to protect you!" Clint walked past her and Maria who tried to stop him. He ignored them and was only a second away from the redhead when the woman straightened up.</p>
<p>Her eyes were on fire. And not before she had made sure she was looking straight into his eyes she growled. "No. You did it to protect yourself."</p>
<p>"Natasha how can you say that?! We always look after you!" Laura didn't register she had said anything before it was too late. The redhead only looked at her for a second before turning away. Laura could see the hurt in her eyes as she turned around and took her first step.</p>
<p>Immediately Natasha's legs gave out under her body, only giving the redhead a small second to desperately grab the railing on the stairs.</p>
<p>"NAT!" Maria was beside her before Laura had the time to process what was happening in front of her. It had happened so fast. Laura knew Natasha, and she had witnessed her falling and fainting more than once, but she immediately felt her own body freeze up knowing very well this was already serious.</p>
<p>"Nat!" Maria repeated again holding around the redhead who was now very visibly struggling.</p>
<p>The woman was gasping after air holding over her chest, eyes wide open in shock and pain. Her eyes were focusing on her hand on her chest not even blinking as she continued to gasp.</p>
<p>"Clint get Stark on the line!" Maria ordered still only looking down at Natasha trying to help her down to sit down on one of the steps.</p>
<p>"NOW" Maria yelled when he didn't move, not even giving him a look as she tried to keep Natasha alive and awake.</p>
<p>"Nat, take a deep breath I need you to try to calm down. Nat, listen to me." Maria was already starting to struggle to keep Natasha still in her arms giving Laura only a small look before turning her head back at the redhead</p>
<p>Laura could tell it was getting worse as Maria continued to try to Natasha to listen getting more and more stressed when the redhead only continued to gasp holding around herself.</p>
<p>"Yes, she is right here, hang on." Laura yelped as she felt an arm around her waist and got dragged backward. She tried to fight him as he continued to drag her out of the room only throwing the phone to Maria before closing the door between them, shutting them away.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Before you all hate me, I can explain okay. I do not think Clint is a bad character! BUT in endgame, we saw Ronin, and while this is not like canon and more of like an AU, all of the characters are still like the MCU vibe. Which means still need Clint to end up in a place where Ronin is realistic. </p>
<p>And no, you cannot come for me telling me “oh he killed shit load of people because his family disappeared" because guess what, NAT ALSO LOST HER FAMILY THAT DAY. AND SO, DID STEVE AND PEPPER AND EVERYONE ELSE AND THEY DID NOT TURN OUT LIKE THAT.</p>
<p>So, I've talked about this with a reader of mine (I love you, and you know who you are) and I think Clint suffers a lot from PTSD vibes. Now I don’t know much about PTSD, so it will be more of like a guess from my side. But I think when Pietro sacrificed himself for Clint, and then at the same time kinda landing Wanda as someone he felt he was a caregiver for/got a more parent-like role for, he really felt like the need for protecting them. All of them, his family. To make sure nothing like that happened again.  </p>
<p>You see it in civil war as well. How he goes after Wanda and get very protective over her. And yes, I do believe regardless of Ultron events Clint would be team cap, not just bc of Wanda and everything that happened there. But I do think he identified even more as team cap bc of that too. </p>
<p>Team cap stood for the idea of being able to do whatever they needed/wanted if they believed it would result in the right things /their values (and not really caring that much of the aftermath). For Clint being able to do something kinda rebellious to protect his family for sure seems like a thing he would do, and cap’s side was the closet to supporting that.  </p>
<p>That is why I think Clint could have pushed Nat away if it meant his family would be safe (or safer or whatever). While I still think he loves Nat very much, the family he made with Laura, the three kids, and her, would always be his priority, with the one exception of Wanda. This is even partly confirmed when Natasha asks, “we are still friends right” and he answers “depends how hard you hit me”. Translated to “Depends on how big of a threat you want to be to me and my family right now being on Tony’s side”</p>
<p>Again, back to CW and team cap, do I think Nat talked to the Barton’s about the accords, (they even confirmed this by saying he retired), but Clint chose to not be involved (retired) because that was a risk. UNTIL Cap was like “oh and Wanda is being held captive in HQ and not allowed to move” and now, not only Wanda who he counts a family was now involved, cap also pointed out that "yeah Nat who signed the accords isn't really allowed to do anything about even if she wanted or you asked her too, and that’s how it will be if Iron man wins."</p>
<p>You see what I mean. He is very protective over his family AND – THAT – NEEDS – TO – BE – EXPLORED – SO – RONIN – WILL – MAKE – SENSE.</p>
<p>Was this chapter kinda extreme? Sure, it was. But was going on a rampage killing everyone even making War machine scared to find you extreme too. Yup. </p>
<p>I'm just trying to make sure it makes a bit more sense writing in Ronin as a part of his character. And now we can get a small peak of at least why the hell he is doing this. (and so I can be even more extreme later on if I want to)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: This chapter is kinda like a Laura study. Trying to really showcase how she feels about everything in her life right now and what she feels about Natasha. Natasha is her rock and a big factor for her health. Like you can see in this chapter, (but also like in the first fanfic) it's actually a really big reflection of her own well-being.</p><p>TW: I will also warn this will bring up some darker themes. I won't like describe anything, but some things will be hinted at. So, the rating will continue to be T, but just so you know, that will happen in this chapter as well as later chapters. And again, I won't really use the words, but you will see some hinting towards dark events, and you will just kinda have to know what I'm talking about.</p><p>Other than that, we are moving forward in time already. If you haven't read my fanfics, especially Never far from home, I have quite a few times jumps all over the place. This is like I said in the introduction in chapter one, this is a sequel, which can be a standalone.</p><p>In never far from home I covered everything from when Natasha met Laura 10 years ago, to the end of Ultron. This is from the end of Ultron to the end of endgame. The difference is, never far was kinda similar to the actual MCU, and this will be more AU. So, while it won't cover every big event from after Ultron, it will be quite a big and long timeline regardless. And quite a bit of time jumps because it's me.</p><p>I will try not to refer too much back to Never just because everyone may not have read it. But if you are lost and don't understand like "what is she talking about here" it probably is mentioned in Never far, but you can always pm/or comment me if you don't know what is going on and want answers, I'll be happy to explain. </p><p>Red/S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>Laura was sitting by the table holding a tight grip around her mug and a book in her lap. The mug had was holding a non-caffeinated late, and it was some of the most depressing things Laura knew. One of the biggest downsides of breastfeeding for sure.</p><p>It was only 10 in the morning, but the kids were already up and running. It was a nice Saturday, it really was. Sun was shining and you could see the temperature had started falling with the small layer of dew sprinkled on the grass on the field.</p><p>It was the middle of December already. The Christmas decorations were already up in the house, and Clint had put out a few Christmas lights outside this year as well. The kids were going to pick out a Christmas tree with their father this weekend too. In a way, it felt like life was just flying by, but at the same time, it felt like time had stopped.</p><p>It's been weeks, almost months since the Natasha event. It felt still so unreal. And sometimes she still felt the fear that had washed through her that day. Sometimes it still flashed pictures of Natasha in Maria's arms after she fainted. Pictures of the doctor running down through the door. Even Tony Stark had been there. He was the one that would get there fastest, so he had shown up first. Then a quinjet had arrived just half a minute after. Everything had just been a blur. She remembered Maria and Tony low shouting at each other as they tried to work together.</p><p>It had seemed so dramatic at the time, but she knew she was fine now. She had recovered. She was fine. Completely healed from the incident.</p><p>Nothing in any test could tell you about the cardiogenic shock, the arrhythmia, or angina. Nothing about how her heart had failed her. It was untraceable on paper.</p><p>But Laura had been there. She had seen it. How Natasha had been fighting herself as her chest had started to burn and her breath got lost. How Maria had desperately tried to keep her calm to drag out the risk of it getting worse.</p><p>Even when Clint tried to shield her off in another room, she had fought him. Just to get closer to her, to watch her, to make sure she didn't lose her.</p><p>She had watched as Maria got more and more scared. How she too was fighting the thoughts of maybe losing the woman then and there. Losing her in her arms, in the staircase of what the woman counted as home.</p><p>She had fainted only a minute after her legs gave up under her. After what seemed like years of her gasping after small pockets of air. Holding tighter and tighter around her upper chest and lower throat till she fell to the floor. She had woken up shortly after, but even then, she was still fighting consciousness. Holding her hands over her chest gasping as it got even worse.</p><p>Laura had completely forgotten about her book when she stood up from the chair. It fell down on the floor with a loud thud. She let out a small sigh as she picked it up. She had tried to finish that dumb book for weeks now and she had barely made a dent. She just had so much on her mind all the time, and while she would like to try to pretend life didn't exist and instead fall into an imaginary world in said book, her brain hadn't allowed it. And she had tried everything, she really had. She had been to the doctor multiple times. She had even started to go to therapy again because she seriously had just passed a breaking point.</p><p>Psychology happened to be a big part of her field as well as how your brain actually worked. Now her field was quite broad anyway, but she had a degree in the area for crying out loud. She wasn't dumb, she took the hint, she needed to fix it and get her life back on track.</p><p>Laura had actually found a big relief in the therapy sessions. Her therapist was lovely, and it was a nice and needed change talking to somebody about everything in her life. About Clint, about Natasha. Talking about everything just to get it off her chest. Laura always felt she was the one ending up with always having to listen to everyone else's problems and nobody took a minute to listen to her. And now, for the first time in a while, she finally got relief.</p><p>The last weeks had felt especially heavy. At the start, her body hadn't really processed what had happened, and it seemed fine. Nothing told her it would only be the start, a warmup for the hell later down the line.</p><p>When it finally hit her, her world slowly started to fall apart. Laura knew it was normal not maybe reacting so much at first, maybe you were still in shock. You needed to process everything, your reaction would maybe be a bit delayed, and then slowly you had the battle in front of you to heal.</p><p>But Laura's reaction had not been good, and when she got the realization that she really could have lost Natasha that night. Everything had changed. Everything had changed after that night.</p><p>After Maria took Natasha back to the Avenger facility Laura had spent the whole night pacing back and forth. Back then she didn't know that would be the last time in weeks she would see the two of them, and the last time in weeks she would hear the redheads voice.</p><p>Maria had updated her the whole night and along the way. When they were flying home. When they moved her into the hospital part of the Avenger's facility. Through every small turn, she had messaged her, or called her, telling her exactly what was going on. She was single-handedly the only reason Laura had survived the first 24 hours. The only reason her own heart hadn't failed her too.</p><p>Maria had called her the second the quinjet had landed and didn't hang up before they had gotten a clear answer on what had happened and a clear diagnosis. After that, she had announced she was going to Pepper's apartment to tell her everything in person. Apparently, she had ordered Pepper to stay home not wanting to risk anything like an accident on her way to HQ, when ultimately, they wouldn't get to see the redhead that day anyways. But even after she hung up to stay with Pepper, she continued to message Laura regularly to make sure she was okay.</p><p>Takotsubo cardiomyopathy. That's what Maria had called it. A cardiac event. Natasha had woken up with shortness of breath and chest pain, caused by irregularities in her coronary artery. Maria didn't get to see the woman when she had woken up but apparently, she was okay. Whatever "okay" meant in this situation.</p><p>Like Maria had said. Completely reversible. Natasha was fine now. She had recovered. She was fine. But even with this information Laura never stopped wondering why and how it all had happened.</p><p>Natasha was the fittest person you would ever find. She had no cardiac history before this. If she had the red room and KGB would probably have gotten rid of her a long time ago. Even if that sounded awful, that was the harsh truth. The red room would never have kept a student that had heart problems. It was a risk they would never take, and Laura knew they had no problems getting rid of students.</p><p>No, Natasha's case was different. It came out of the blue. Yes, she had been sick, but even when her health situation had been a bit out of the ordinary it made no sense how her heart had shut down like that.</p><p>Laura had wasted no time, opening her tablet to google the second Maria had given her the diagnose, and the second she had hit search her heart had sunk.</p><p>Broken heart syndrome. That's what it was called<em>. </em>That was the top result on google. Broken heart syndrome.</p><p>
  <em>"A temporary heart condition that's often brought on by stressful situations and extreme emotions. The condition can also be triggered by a serious physical illness or surgery."</em>
</p><p>They caused it. It was their fault. They were the trigger to this. They made it happen.</p><p>Laura was still struggling to cope with that. To not blame herself over and over. Multiple times Maria and Clint had told her it wasn't that. It was multiple factors and she couldn't be blaming herself for everything. And even if she did Natasha was fine now. And she couldn't do anything about the past. She needed to let it go. That was what they told her.</p><p>She wished it was that easy. To just tell herself it wasn't her fault. But she didn't believe them. How could she believe them?</p><p>Natasha hadn't talked to them after everything that had happened. She had sent one message to both Clint and Laura telling them she was fine and didn't blame them. But it had been un-personal and more or less two identical messages to them both. She hadn't replied to Laura after she messaged her. She wasn't really surprised by this, but it still stung. It also made the healing processes even worse. She had no idea what Natasha was really thinking. If she actually was <em>fine.</em></p><p>Clint had moved on long ago. And she wasn't surprised. Clint had just backed off as he had done even before the cardiac event. And like he had said to Natasha that night: It really did seem like his priorities were at the kids and Laura.</p><p>Laura knew he had been struggling a lot after everything that happened with Ultron and the Maximoff twins. She didn't blame him, of course not. It had been traumatic, and he needed time to heal. But even when that was the case it was still hard to watch him drift from Natasha like that.</p><p>But maybe the worst part about it all was, the kids had started to drift as well.</p><p>Natasha had been gone for way longer than two months before, and they always asked a million times when she was coming back. <em>When was she visiting next? Had she called or texted?</em></p><p>But now neither Cooper nor Lila asked anymore. She didn't know why they just suddenly stopped. Maybe it was because Clint was home with them all the time? Whatever it was, it hurt Laura to see them too slowly just stopping asking after their aunt.</p><p>Of course, they were kids. They didn't see the seriousness in the situation. And really you can't blame kids for, well, being kids. But Laura still wanted them to care, even if they didn't know what really had happened that night.</p><p>And then there was Nathaniel. He was even named after the woman. And Natasha had barely seen him at all. It was only three months since he was born, but Laura imagined her being there more or less the whole way. To be a part of his childhood. To be a part of raising him. Beside her and Clint the whole day. That was her dream.</p><p>Laura wished more than anything she was here now. She wanted her home and well. To give her a hug, and just, all in all, being able to look at her and make sure she was fine.</p><p>Lately, that's all she had been thinking about. Natasha and everything that had happened with her. How it was still affecting her, and how it would always be in the back of her head. It never let go and it was starting to get really hard getting back into a good routine.</p><p>At least that was one good side with Clint's new mindset. They now shared a lot more of the daily routines and Clint was even more involved. The days' Laura had been really down he had taken the kids in the morning, and the worst case also ended up entertaining them in the evening as well. It gave Laura time to try focusing on herself. And that was really needed at this point.</p><p>Today Kent and Annie with their two kids were coming over. Another attempt to keep Laura's head on earth. Annie and Kent were good family friends. Laura had known Annie for years, and the couple was the first couple that had known about Natasha's real past and actually seen the truth and the real Barton family.</p><p>Together Kent and Annie had two kids. Caspar was born in 2004 and was a few months older than Cooper who was born at the start of January 2005. Because Cooper had started school early, he and Caspar went in the same class and had grown up side by side.</p><p>Lucie was their youngest was only a couple of weeks older than Lila. They too were in the same class at school and were more or less inseparable.</p><p>Laura was very thankful for them. She could not imagine a life where she hadn't had a friend like Annie. She knew the kids would be friends with them for the rest of their life too. And it made her extremely happy. Just having friends and being able to be normal kids outside of the house. To not needing to be involved in all the intelligent community</p><p>After shield fell and the Avengers went public, people had started to take notice of Laura and Clint. Thankfully it was really only their small town that knew Laura was the wife of Hawkeye, and the media hadn't decided to cover that yet. She hoped they never would. Just for her kids' sake.</p><p>Annie and Kent had been there for the family when times were hard. Even when Shield fell, and they had to deal with a Natasha, who was hiding from the whole world at the time, the family had been there for them.</p><p>Their family was the Barton family's way to try to keep a normal life. They tried to arrange playdates or dinners at least one time a week. And every other week the kids would have asleep over, alternating which family would host. Not only was it a great way of escaping all the stress from a busy life, but it was also just a nice evening for everyone, including the adults.</p><p>This Saturday had pizza and movie night on the agenda. Laura had bought all the ingredients earlier this week and was very prepared. They would be over in a few hours and usually, they would stay quite late.</p><p>Laura could feel some butterflies in her stomach. For some reason, she felt nervous having them over. And she had no idea why. Again. She loved that family. It was gonna be nice. Of course, it was. So why did she feel so stressed now?</p><p>Upstairs she could hear the kids run and play. They had been so good lately with almost no fights. And Nate to had been good, starting to get some better nights, not waking up by literally nothing.</p><p>"Hi" Laura could feel her body freeze when she felt something behind her. She let out a heavy breath as she felt him wrap his arms around her carefully. His voice was soft as he spoke, and she let him move her hair to the side to kiss her neck gently.</p><p>She turned around and looked up at him. Clint looked at her with a small smile before letting go.</p><p>"How are you?" He asked looking at her. She looked back at him with a tired look. She had a feeling he knew what she was gonna say already.</p><p>"Tired. Have a lot on my mind." Laura answered simply.</p><p>"She is fine. You know this." Clint said before turning around to go to the kitchen. They had had this conversation countless times already, and both of them were really starting to hate it.</p><p>"I don't like how you're so confident saying that. She hasn't spoken to us in weeks." Laura took a deep breath again. <em>Breath Laura, breathe.</em></p><p>"Laura. I think you need to focus on yourself here for a second." Clint said calmly looking at her with a small smile. She could tell inside he wasn't as calm and nice as he looked on the outside.</p><p>"Clint I just think we also should…" She tried only to interrupt.</p><p>"Whatever you're going to say I will not agree. Nat has everything she needs at HQ, and I have everything I need here." Clint cut her off making Laura shut her mouth. She looked at him with big eyes, still having a hard time listening to him talking like that.</p><p>
  <em>Continue to breathe. In through your nose. Out your mouth. Calm down Laura</em>
</p><p>"You know I love Nat, but she has other priorities back there. And mine are here. She can come and go as much as she wants as long as everyone here in this house is safe. Do you understand me?" Clint said with a firm voice. He always ended up raising his voice. And every time Laura could only nod under his eyes before closing her eyes in defeat.</p><p>"I can feel a headache," Laura mumbled after a while. She lifted her hand to her forehead slowly, immediately feeling her head starting to spin.</p><p>"Taken your medications?" She could hear Clint reply.</p><p>"Yes," She mumbled back leaning forwards to lean on the table. Both sides of her head were throbbing, and she was starting to feel a little bit sick.</p><p>"At least to go the sofa to take a nap," Clint said and Laura could feel him poke her side.</p><p>She lifted her head and opened her eyes to look at him. His blue eyes were staring at her intensely before he nodded at the couch, and all she could do was to only nod back before moving over to the living room again.</p><p>It had been a lot of naps lately. She didn't like it, but she needed them dearly. She barely slept at night and headaches had started to follow her every day. And no matter what she did she never seemed to be able to shake them off. No wonder why Natasha got so drained of her migraines.</p><p>Laura let out a small sigh before curling up under a blanket. She looked up only to see Clint starting back at her. She nodded again before closing her eyes, falling into a deep, deep sleep.</p><p>Laura woke up by Clint shaking her a few hours later. He smiled at her softly before handing her a glass of water. Laura smiled faintly before saying. "Thanks, Clint," He smiled back before moving over to the kitchen. She let out a small yawn before turning her head to look at the clock on the wall.</p><p>"He at his second nap?" Laura asked before standing up stretching her arms over her head.</p><p>"Second nap" Clint confirmed with a nod.</p><p>"And the two others?" Laura continued as she sipped on her water looking at her phone.</p><p>"Upstairs, probably charging up some crazy amount of energy for tonight," Clint answered with a small laugher. He stopped when she didn't reply and turned around to look at her. Laura watched his intense blue eyes look at her. They were like a storm. Always awake, always alive, and ready to start rumbling.</p><p>"You okay Laur?" He asked softly.</p><p>"Yeah, fine. Just tired, still." Laura replied. He only looked at her for a second before nodding. It was a weak reply, it really was. But at least it was true. She really did feel dead.</p><p>He continued to look at her for a few more seconds before he started to move. He was just about to walk out of the kitchen and into their small closet when he stopped abruptly. He stopped and just looked out into nowhere for a second before frowning.</p><p>"Did you hear that?" He said low, looking at her with a small on alert look.</p><p>She only shook her head slowly. She hadn't heard anything, but she didn't like the way he was looking. This could be bad. Or dangerous.</p><p>Clint took a step towards the front door before stopping again. This time Laura did hear something. It was hard to describe the sound. In a way, it sounded like footsteps but also as if something was getting dragged.</p><p>If this was the apocalypse Cooped had been talking about, she was not ready.</p><p>She looked at him one more time before slowly walking towards the door. Before they even got to the hallway the door got slammed open and immediately Laura felt her whole body freeze up.</p><p>Laura could feel Clint stop behind her as well as they both just looked at them. Staring at the two women in front of them in shock having no idea what to do.</p><p>Natasha was hanging over the shoulder of another woman. And the first thing Laura noticed was her wild eyes. They were all over the place. Unlike her normal kind eyes, they seemed almost distressed, scared. And Laura had seen the woman stressed before, this wasn't it.</p><p>"Okay, that was unexpected." Clint only said looking at them with a confused look as the new woman pushed the door close behind them. At least he seemed calm so maybe it wasn't too bad of a situation?</p><p>"What were you expecting, something more dangerous?" Laura hadn't really noticed the other woman before she opened her mouth. She had an accent she couldn't place. Sounded kinda similar to an eastern European language, maybe?</p><p>She had long brown hair with some soft waves in them, framing a beautiful young face. Paired with it she had two wide-awake blue-green eyes, scanning her surroundings. She was very pretty she noticed. Taller than Natasha, but not too tall. She had a slim body and was dressed in a black T and some ripped jeans. On top, she had a red leather jacket which Laura knew was Natasha's because she had seen it a million times. She seemed very young actually, now that Laura looked at her.</p><p>"More that I didn't expect you, Wanda" Clint answered calmly looking at the girl.</p><p>Wanda, this was Wanda. This was the one twin. Oh my god. No wonder why Clint wanted to protect her. She looked like she was barely 20. This was insane.</p><p>"Well, Natasha dragged me here," Wanda said nodding at the woman who was starting to straighten up.</p><p>"Needed a support, plus I thought maybe you wanted to see your <em>daughter</em>," Natasha said between her teeth. Laura could tell it was very forced as she finally was standing straight looking at them. Her wild eyes had started to die down, but she was very clearly tired, and she seemed to be in pain as well.</p><p>Clint only looked at her for a second before nodding. He smiled at Wanda before he offered to take her red jacket and put it away.</p><p>Even when Wanda undressed Laura could see the girl was looking at her carefully. She couldn't blame her for being on edge at a new place.</p><p>"Hi. I'm Laura, Clint's wife." Laura offered her a hand as she induced herself, trying to keep as calm as possible. She watched as Wanda looked at her hand then back at her before she shook it carefully. Her green eyes continued to look into Laura's brown as she spoke up.</p><p>"Wanda." She answered politely looking at her before turning to Natasha. Laura was surprised to see the woman turn to Natasha, but she was even more surprised by the encouraging nod from the redhead. She knew they were close, but Wanda seemed very reliant on the other woman.</p><p>"If you guys want to move to the living room or something?" Clint tried, looking between them, clearly unsure about what to do.</p><p>"No, Annie and the family are here." Natasha only replied, and like clockwork the second the sentence was off her tongue the door opened for the second time in 10 minutes.</p><p>Laura watched a happy blond open the door. followed by two kids running through the door and two down the staircase.</p><p>Laura hadn't actually thought about her two kids before they came flying down. They barely looked at the other adults before dragging their friends upstairs again.</p><p>Copper was the only one that seemed to have noticed the new brunette. He looked at her for a second before Clint smiled at him waving to signalize him to follow Caspar to his room.</p><p>It surprised her that not even Lila had noticed Natasha. She loved that woman to pieces. Laura turned to locate the redhead, to see if she at least was watching the kids. To Laura's surprised Natasha was already gone, and it took her a good 5 seconds to notice her standing in a corner almost completely blending in with everything. She would probably not have noticed her if she didn't know she was there in the first place so the kids would have no idea she even was in the house.</p><p>But then again, she was a former superspy, what was new.</p><p>"Laura!" Laura got snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Annie's soft but excited voice. She felt her body move on autopilot walking into the hug. Smiling as Annie wrapped her arms around her.</p><p>"Annie, Kent, this is Wanda, she is part of the Avengers." Laura pulled back as he heard Clint speak up intruding Wanda proudly.</p><p>"Hi, I am Annie, and this is my husband, Kent. We are long time family friends." Annie said shaking Wanda's hand carefully. Wanda smiled softly at the two of them nodding slightly at Kent who hadn't moved yet.</p><p>"And Natasha, so nice to see you again." Laura had no idea Natasha had moved out of the corner and was now standing behind her somehow. Natasha nodded softly at the blond before the blond forced her into a hug, which didn't surprise Laura a bit. She knew Annie loved Natasha.</p><p>She watched as Natasha moved slightly uncomfortable in Annie's arms, as she was dodging something. But even if she was in discomfort her soft, caring face, did not reveal anything as she pulled back, glowing in the kindest my beautiful way.</p><p>And at least Laura had her back, at least she was home.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So originally this chapter and the last one was actually one really long chapter instead of two. The reason I decided to split the two of them was that I felt it got a bit too long for my liking. Don't get me wrong I love me a good long chapter, but it was a bit much I thought. </p>
<p>That's why I also did a mild TW on that even tho I really only is from this chapter. So doing it one more time. It's not really like a bad TW, but I do bring up some darker themes just so you know. i will not mention the word but it's hinted. </p>
<p>I will say though. At this rate, this fanfic will be like 50 chapters long. I have like 20k words already and we are still in the very first part. Like I have so much planned for this part of the story like my gods. And then we need to cover all the year between CW and infinity and wowie it’s going to be fun. I know I don't have as many readers for this one and people really want me to do to like flying sky high, but I am seriously having a lot of fun playing around with this one. </p>
<p>As always, I hope you guys are making the best out of your, week, day, month and I will talk to you again in a few days. </p>
<p>Lots of love, Red/S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>This evening was something different, that was for sure.</p>
<p>Natasha had disappeared the second they moved into the living room, but with guests in the house, Laura had no way of following her without feeling like she was abandoning them. Instead, she was now making pizza dough with Wanda and Annie. Not that it was anything wrong with the two of them, but she would've liked to check up on Natasha. She had a small feeling something was wrong, and she wanted to find out what before something bad actually happened.</p>
<p>Laura didn't know what she had expected of Wanda. She obviously wanted the best for her since Clint cared so much for her. But in a way, she never realized she would be in this position where she would have her in her house like this. Maybe that was silly of her, considering Clint was actually looking at her as a daughter figure, but it was still not something she had considered.</p>
<p>The woman was young. She had told her she was turning 20 in January meaning she had just been 19 and a half when everything had happened with Ultron. She had been just over 19 when she lost her brother.</p>
<p>After that, she had moved to the Avenger's facilities where she was training under Natasha and Steve. And while the girl didn't talk too much about her training with the avengers it seemed like she liked it, so that was something at least.</p>
<p>The team seemed really close, which was a good thing for multiple reasons. One, it seemed like Wanda needed a team she could trust. Clearly, she didn't really trust them completely yet, but sooner or later she would, and the Avengers were the perfect group to be around as you spent the time to heal.</p>
<p>Another reason why the close team was a good thing was for Natasha. Laura still felt like she had kicked out Natasha, but knowing the team had her back, and she had women like Wanda around her to talk to, was at least somewhat helping her hurting heart.</p>
<p>Laura had only spent a small amount of time with Wanda, but she could already tell the girl really looked up to the redhead. Technically she already knew this. Maria had pointed it out multiple times after Natasha's accident. But it was really nice to see it in person, and not only hearing about it from others.</p>
<p>Wanda didn't actually talk about what had happened back at HQ, but she didn't have too to tell Laura she still cared for Natasha very much. Plus, Laura had seen the footage. How Wanda had tried to save her. She knew Wanda trusted Natasha.</p>
<p>In a way, Laura could see a lot of Natasha in the girl. Not only had Natasha too showed up at their house when she was just 20, but they actually had a few similar traits. Natasha, at that time, was still working under the red rooms spell and her personality didn't show before years later. But if you looked at how the woman was now and compared Wanda. Laura definitely could see the similarities.</p>
<p>It would make sense. Wanda was probably very insecure when she joined the Avengers and Natasha was the one only woman there. Laura knew they had been working closely as well, so it would be easy to take after the other woman. Things like the way she raised her eyebrow when thinking or her small smirk in the corner of her mouth was very Natasha like.</p>
<p>But it wasn't just small quicks that were similar between them. But bigger things as well, more established traits that were actually scarily similar to one and another.</p>
<p>Wanda, like Natasha, was very polite. Manners were sharp and on point as she moved around in Laura's home. She didn't really speak unless spoken too, and patiently waited for instructions. She was very soft in her ways, Laura could tell. Her voice was soft and respectful as she answered questions. But Laura could also tell she was a strong person and burned for her passions, and when Clint started to talk about the Avengers her eyes started to light up.</p>
<p>But even when she seemed so mature for her age Laura saw a lot of curiosity in her young eyes as well. Observing and almost inhaling all the knowledge possible as Laura started to work around in the kitchen and Annie knead the dough carefully. A fast learner who constantly was looking for ways to increase her own knowledge.</p>
<p>She seemed like she was picking up things very fast, and she seemed very sharp. This was the one thing that really had stood out when Laura met Natasha too. A trait that was just so strong it was impossible to miss.</p>
<p>Other than that Laura also soon learned that Wanda was a very creative soul as well. She watched the woman's eyes light up in stars as Annie started to talk about some painting she had been doing. And again, Laura watched the woman hang on every single word that got spoken not wanting to miss anything.</p>
<p>This wasn't really something Laura had learned about Natasha before years into their friendship, but the redhead too had a big heart for creative professions and both of the avengers seemed to have that in common too.</p>
<p>It seemed scary how similar they were. Of course, they were still individuals who of course were different. But Laura couldn't help but think how similar this first impression of Wanda really was with her first impression of Natasha. Or more correctly her first impression of Wanda compared to her first years with Natasha, considering the redhead didn't really give her much at first.</p>
<p>It kinda stung thinking about it. This really was the closest Laura would ever see Natasha and her own relative. Obviously, Wanda wasn't related to the redhead by blood, but this was a brain, an individual, Natasha was currently helping to shape. And Laura could see it, Wanda taking after her mentor in every way. Just how a daughter would have.</p>
<p>The dinner in itself was lovely. The kids were very curious about Wanda. The parents didn't mention her brother was one of the namesakes of Nate. But they did learn she was part of the Avengers. Laura knew Wanda had some kind of superpower, but she was very thankful the woman didn't go around using that around the kids.</p>
<p>The kids seemed to like her a lot. Which was a good thing. Clint could barely keep his mouth shut about Wanda, and she had a feeling this wouldn't be the last time the woman was eating with them.</p>
<p>After the dinner, the kids had played some more, and the adults had ended up talking for the rest of the evening before they had left.</p>
<p>It wasn't before after dinner, Laura finally had the opportunity to go check up on Natasha. Annie and her family had left, and the kids were hurled to bed. Nathaniel had been very easy to put to bed tonight. Usually, he was quite fussy at night. And especially when his sibling had a lot of energy, he too had the tendency to drag out the time spent on the bedtime routine. But tonight, he had been very easy to deal with. Not that Laura was complaining.</p>
<p>Clint was downstairs helping Wanda settle in in the guestroom. They had ended up talking as they worked on making the bed, and Laura was not expecting Clint to join her upstairs any time soon. Laura was happy Wanda was here. Clint seemed to be very happy, and at the end of the day, that was all she wanted.</p>
<p>It was only 10 in the evening, and on a normal day, Natasha would not be sleeping. But she had a feeling something was wrong today and she didn't know what to expect. Maybe everything was fine, and maybe the redhead just needed rest. But surely, she would have told her if that was the case. Right?</p>
<p>Laura stood outside of Natasha's door for a while debating what to do before she carefully knocked on the door.</p>
<p>"Talia?" Laura tried. She stood still and listened to see if it was any movement inside. But it seemed quiet. Maybe she hadn't heard her?</p>
<p>"Natasha" Laura tried again, this time raising her voice a bit more. Again, she was left with no reply. She could feel herself starting to get worked up.</p>
<p>
  <em>Calm down Laura, nothing is wrong, just take a deep breath and try the door.</em>
</p>
<p>Already her hand had started to shake, and as she lifted her hand to try the handle, she could feel it getting even worse. Surprisingly the door slid open revealing a dark room. She was kinda expecting Natasha to have locked the door with her travel look. That was what she used to do before at least.</p>
<p>The room was dark, and it didn't seem like anything had been touched or moved. In fact, it really didn't seem like Natasha was here at all, except for the fact that Laura could see the light in the bathroom was on. A faint yellow glow was revealed under the closed bathroom door on the other side of the room.</p>
<p>Laura closed the bedroom door before taking a small breath again. Okay, bathroom it is.</p>
<p>She moved slowly over the bedroom floor. She looked around in the room as she walked trying to spot if anything was out of the ordinary. She could tell Natasha hadn't touched her bed yet. It looked exactly how Laura had left the room a few weeks ago after she changed the sheets when Maria had left.</p>
<p>"Nat you in here?" She tried carefully, not expecting the door to slide open as she tried to knock.</p>
<p>Natasha was sitting on the bathroom floor leaning up against one of the walls. Her eyes were closed, and she almost seemed like she was sleeping. Keyword being almost because Laura could see her right eyebrow flinch as Laura walked in.</p>
<p>"Nat, sweetheart what are you doing on the bathroom floor?" Laura couldn't help small voice crack as she slid down to Natasha's height.</p>
<p>"The warm tiles feel nice." Natasha only mumbled back still with her eyes closed. Laura could feel herself getting more and more worried looking at the other woman. What had happened? Why was she here? Was she sick? Why didn't she go to her bed right away?</p>
<p>"Are you in pain? Hurt? Do you want me to look at you? Please?" Laura tried. She wanted to reach out to her. To check her every inch for any cuts, bruises, or injuries of any kind. To hug her and take care of her. To make sure she was okay. But she knew better than to just so. Instead, she just looked at her, waiting for a reply.</p>
<p>"Laura I'm fine," Natasha said, and for the first time, Natasha opened her eyes. They were glossy and tired. And far from what Laura would call "fine".</p>
<p>Natasha looked at her again before slowly trying to push herself off the floor clearly struggling. Immediately Laura could tell this was already a situation that needed monitoring. She was not fine.</p>
<p>Knowing Natasha would not let her help her now, she let out a small sigh before saying.</p>
<p>"Can you move to the bed for me, please? If you're fine, the last thing I want you to do is to fall asleep on the floor." Natasha stopped moving for a second before looking at her. "Please" Laura tried again and didn't let her stare go before Natasha nodded back slowly.</p>
<p>"I'll meet you in the bedroom in a few okay. Do you want some Advil or Tylenol?" Laura said trying to keep her shaking voice under control as she stood up from the floor.</p>
<p>Natasha didn't bother to answer her with words. Only nodding as she continued to try to get up from the floor.</p>
<p>Laura left the room slowly, and the second she was completely out of ear range she let out a loud huff. Natasha was way too stubborn for her own good. Maybe before Laura would have pushed her to have a look at her, but after the accident, the last thing she wanted was to push her even more away from her.</p>
<p>She walked into her own bathroom messing around in her cabinet trying to find the painkillers. It was almost a mini pharmacy at this point having all kinds of medications and first aid equipment everywhere for all sorts of reasons. She grabbed one box of Advil and one of Tylenol plus a glass of cold water before walking back to the redhead's room.</p>
<p>"NATASHA!" Laura's eyes widened as her eyes fell on the redhead. The redhead was leaning over the bathroom door in her room, holding over her stomach with her eyes closed. Laura hurried to put her things on the nightstand, closing the bedroom door and turning on the light in the process, before running over to the girl.</p>
<p>Natasha was panting loudly still holding around herself as Laura closed the distance.</p>
<p>"Nat" her voice was firm as she walked up beside her letting her left-hand hold around Natasha's waist to support her. Immediately Natasha let out a small yelp under the touch, clearly in pain. She opened her eyes just to look at Laura with two pain-filled eyes.</p>
<p>"What happened? Nat talk to me!" Laura said trying to keep the redhead on her feet. Her heart was racing in her chest as she held around her.</p>
<p>Should she call on Clint? What was going on?</p>
<p>Natasha only shook her head, letting a heavy sigh out, not looking at Laura.</p>
<p>"Natasha, you need to let me look at you." The last part of the sentence practically fell out of her as Natasha let out yet a loud groan as she lost herself for a second, relying entirely on Laura to keep her entire body weight on her shoulder. But even when she was so clearly in pain Natasha only shook her head not even looking at the other woman.</p>
<p>"Natasha you either let me help you getting in bed before <em>I </em>look at you, I call Maria and she will force you to let <em>her</em> look at you, or I call on Clint. It's the only three options I'm going to give you. You cannot refuse this one." Laura looked down at the other woman hoping she would not respond too bad to her raising her voice like that.</p>
<p>When she didn't reply Laura could feel her heart starting to speed up again. Maybe this was a mistake, but she couldn't take it back now, and she really did need to look at her. And if she didn't let her look at her, somebody else needed to.</p>
<p>After what seemed like half a year Natasha finally nodded. She could hear the redhead was starting to breathe loudly and she was clearly starting to struggle to be on her feet, so she really had no other choice than to agree.</p>
<p>Laura only nodded back before slowly starting to signalize to move over to the bed. It was only like three steps, but it was clear the redhead was giving every bit of energy she had left to make the move.</p>
<p>The second they reached the bed Natasha let out a heavy sigh, almost falling onto the bed.</p>
<p>Laura looked at her trying to get a better overview of the situation. The first thing Laura noticed was how she really couldn't see anything wrong with her at first.</p>
<p>The woman was dressed in all black, with a turtleneck and some black yoga pants. She had never really seen the woman with a turtleneck before. But the all-black was not new considering that was how she dressed mostly anyways. Her hair was loose and other than just looking tried, and clearly, in pain, she looked "fine". Or at least on the outside, it seemed like she was.</p>
<p>Obviously, the woman wasn't fine. It could be something not physical, or something you couldn't see on the outside of the body. But she was still dressed, and she couldn't really eliminate it before she had checked her whole body. It meant she needed to undress her if she really was getting to the bottom of this. Clearly, the former spy was in a lot of pain and she needed to know why.</p>
<p>"Nat, help me lean you against the headboard please," Laura said softly fluffing up a pillow to let her lean on. Natasha only bit her lip before nodding.</p>
<p>The redhead pushed herself slowly, and it was first now Laura noticed her left arm did almost all of the work. Was it her right arm maybe? Surely that wouldn't cause her so much pain, right.</p>
<p>Laura tried putting a supporting hand on her back to help her prop her up and immediately Natasha whined making Laura rapidly take her arm back. Laura looked at her with big eyes as Natasha let her head back and groaned loudly.</p>
<p>Her back too? Clearly, she needed to get the sweater off.</p>
<p>It took Natasha almost a full minute to move into a sitting position, and by the time she was done, she was completely drained of energy.</p>
<p>"Natasha, I'm going to remove your sweater, okay," Laura said slowly making sure the redhead was getting everything she was saying.</p>
<p>Natasha looked at her with big eyes. Laura could clearly see her eyes starting to get worried. So, it really was something wrong there.</p>
<p>Natasha continued to look at her for a while. Laura didn't want to do anything without her consent. Clearly, it was still serious, but Natasha also didn't want anyone to know. If she trusted her with this, Laura needed to be patient to make sure she didn't push too hard. At the end of the day, Natasha was the one in charge here. Even injured Natasha could easily cut off Laura completely, letting nobody look at her. And even if Laura wasn't a medic, her at least having some knowledge was better than nobody knowing anything.</p>
<p>After a while of just looking at each other Natasha nodded. She leaned forward slightly letting Laura carefully take the bottom of the shirt before very carefully pulling it upwards.</p>
<p>"Oh my god." She had barely lifted the shirt but already Laura's heart was speeding up. She didn't mean to say anything, but it just slipped out. She could only see her left side. And even if she could only see a couple of inches of her skin the part she could see was covered in blue and green bruises. They were clearly from punches.</p>
<p>She let out a heavy breath as she continued. She had beardly seen anything yet, and she had a feeling it was only going to get worse. Trying to push the thought away she lifted the shirt higher slowly revealing her upper body.</p>
<p>
  <em>No, no, no, no. Please don't be real.</em>
</p>
<p>Laura could barely contain herself from ripping the whole sweater off as she laid her eyes on her destroyed collarbone and the blue marks around her neck. Her whole upper body was destroyed. Filled with cuts and bruises. It was barely any spots that hadn't been touched.</p>
<p>The worst part was her neck. It was both blue and red. And it was no doubt somebody had tried to choke the woman at one point.</p>
<p>At this point, the woman only had pants and her underwear on. Her bra was barely on with both of the straps fallen off her shoulders and bloodstains covering what really would have been a nice white bra.</p>
<p>Laura dropped the sweater on the floor before slowly leaning forwards to look at the woman closer. Natasha was only staring into nothing not giving Laura any real attention.</p>
<p>"Turn towards me," Laura ordered slowly. She tried her best to keep her own nerves under control as she spoke, not wanting to make an already scary situation worse.</p>
<p>Natasha moved slowly around, still looking into nothing, and didn't stop until her whole upper body was pointed towards Laura. Laura inhaled sharply as she watched Natasha reveal an even more bruised right and front side. You could see the scar from War machines blast, but even with that there it really wasn't what took Laura's attention.</p>
<p>The whole right side of her neck was filled with hikes and she had a deep cut under her right collar bone. The blood was dried up and you could tell the cut was a few days old, with old strips barely hanging on still. But even if it was old Laura could tell this was still hurting now.</p>
<p>Laura threw one last look on her neck again before she spoke up again.</p>
<p>"Lean forwards," Laura said with a short breath, already scared of whatever would be next.</p>
<p>She needed to see her back. She needed to make sure it wasn't as bad.</p>
<p>"Oh my god Natasha," Laura exclaimed. She was completely lost for words as she looked at a completely destroyed back. The whole back was covered in claw marks from nails against the skin. With old bloodstains on her back and infected cuts, it was no wonder she had flinched when Laura had put pressure on it.</p>
<p>
  <em>No. This could not be real life. This wasn't real.</em>
</p>
<p>She refused to believe it.</p>
<p>She pushed Natasha slowly back up against the bed, making sure Natasha was comfortable against the pillow. Natasha didn't fight her this time. She only looked at her, meeting her eyes for this first time since the bathroom. Her eyes were filled with pain.</p>
<p>Laura could only look at the destroyed redhead for a second before she felt her eyes move over to her body again. Letting her eyes follow the bruise on the left side. From her neck and down the entirety of her left side. She could tell it didn't stop by her pants. She knew it continued.</p>
<p>Slowly pulling down the edge of the pants just past her waistline she could see it continue down. Still blue and destroyed with claw marks along her hip.</p>
<p>She didn't need to see any more. She didn't want to see any more.</p>
<p>She already knew.</p>
<p>"Nat, you need to let a doctor look at this. This is. This is really bad." The last part was only a whisper as she let her hand glide carefully down the redhead's neck and along with the dark blue bruise. It was like she could see the marks of the hand still there on her neck.</p>
<p>"No." Natasha's voice cracked as she spoke to her for the first time since the bathroom. "No" She repeated looking at Laura with a scared look in her eyes.</p>
<p>"The deal was only you. Don't tell anyone. Not Clint. Not Maria. Not Pepper. Got it!" The last part was definitely a threat. Laura could see the anger in her eyes, and for the first time in years, Laura could feel herself getting a bit scared of the redhead.</p>
<p>She hadn't even thought of Pepper. Pepper, Natasha's girlfriend. The woman that loved her more than anything. It broke her heart. Pepper needed to know, she deserved to know.</p>
<p>She didn't want to hide this from them. It felt wrong hiding something so bad, something so incredibly seriously and important from all the people this woman loved. This was awful. But she had no choice. If she didn't agree, Natasha would probably run away ending up hurting herself more. And if she broke it later, Laura could tell Natasha would not forgive her with this one.</p>
<p>She knew she was the only person Natasha would let help her, and she could not risk hurting this woman more now. The stakes were too high.</p>
<p>Laura looked at her again. She could feel herself wanting to refuse but she only looked at her one last time before nodding slowly.</p>
<p>"Okay"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I mean people who know me already and read NFFH knows I don't know how the heck kids work just so you know.</p><p>I know I had something else to say in this note, but I don't remember anymore so yeah. Thank you for all the love as always. Make it a great week and hopefully, I won't be so slow for the next chapter.</p><p>Red/S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Laura woke by a high scream. Her body shoots up from the bed before her head had had the time to process what was going on. She could feel herself fumbling around to get the nightlight on, before turning around to the other side of the bed.</p><p>Natasha's eyes were filled with panic looking around in the room in terror. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably, and it looked like she was ready to fight anyone that dared touch her.</p><p>"Nat." Laura tried trying to get her to look at her. She didn't want to touch her, scared to hurt her or to trigger anything else. Instead, she let the woman slowly make her way back to the present alone. Only watching her in silence as Natasha slowly closed her eyes before shaking her head carefully.</p><p>"You with me?" Laura tried again slowly jumping closer to her in the bed, still careful not to get too close until Natasha gave her the green light.</p><p>Natasha opened her eyes again, looking at her with a pair of scared eyes before nodding slowly. "Yeah." She whispered. Her voice was small and weak, and Laura could feel her own heart sink in her chest.</p><p>Laura looked at her carefully before reaching after her, slowly letting her be the one making the moves. Immediately Natasha fell into her arms curling up letting out a small sob. Laura could feel her body freeze as Natasha continued to cry low. Natasha didn't cry. She never cried.</p><p>It broke her heart. She had no idea what had happened in those two months they were apart, but clearly, something had happened. Something bad. She was so shaken, and while just her battle-scarred body alone was a scary sight. It was something about seeing one of the most respected and feared women in the world cry in her bedroom like this.</p><p>The next time Laura woke up she was wrapped around Natasha carefully. This time the woman was sleeping peacefully in her arms. Her face was white from crying but other than she looked way better now than last night. Breathing steadily in her arms.</p><p>The soft morning light was peeking through the curtains. It looked like it was going to be a nice day. She really hoped that was the case.</p><p>Laura lied still for a minute debating if she should move. If she did Natasha would probably wake up, but she wanted the woman to sleep. She needed to sleep. But sooner or later she did need to move. Clint hadn't walked into her the whole night. Meaning he had had to deal with Nate and the kids on his own for the night. Now it was early morning, and the kids were probably already downstairs. She needed to pump and check up on Nate and the other two. And Clint probably needed a break.</p><p>While she waited to see if Natasha was waking up anytime soon, she spent the time trying to get a better look at the woman in her arms. Laura had dropped trying to get Natasha to change last night and she was still only in her bra and pants. It wasn't ideal, but at least she didn't have fabric rubbing against her bare skin, irritating the skin even more.</p><p>Laura couldn't really see the front side of the redhead's body, but she now had a clear view of the back and her left side. You could clearly see the marks from the nails digging into the skin. It was an angry red. In some places, you could even see it had drawn blood. Leaving old bloodstains all around her body. It didn't seem like Natasha had spent the time cleaning it herself at any point. Some of the cuts even seemed to be infected.</p><p>Laura looked at her again and this time she noticed her left hand holding around her right wrist. She hadn't noticed it before but both her wrists, especially the right one, had bruises along with them. Had she been tied up? Was this why her right arm had been struggling when she tried to support herself?</p><p>She was starting to wonder if the woman was going to wake up soon. She kinda needed the toilet, plus she wanted to go over the redhead again now that she had some daylight. Thankfully she didn't need to wait too much because as she just finished her thought train Natasha moved in her arms.</p><p>"Nat?" She tried carefully. She looked down at Natasha who let out a small groan as she turned on her back.</p><p>"You okay?" Laura whispered as Natasha continued to turn around and ended up looking straight at her. Her eyes were weak, and she was very clearly still hurting.</p><p>She shook her head no, before leaning on her again. Laura could tell she was seriously struggling, and she felt bad that's she had to leave her so soon.</p><p>"I need to go downstairs. You can keep sleeping if you want. I'm just going to go over your back fast and then I'll need to and talk to the kids." Laura said softly carefully, trying to move as little as possible not to hurt her. She could feel Natasha nod in her arms. Laura pulled back and looked at the woman carefully. Her eyes were closed and already Laura could tell she was trying to go back to sleep.</p><p>After a small mission of trying to unwrap herself from Natasha in the best and most careful way before she hurried out of the bed before jogging into the bathroom to find the first aid kit, Natasha had in her room. She had no idea why she didn't do this yesterday, but better late than never.</p><p>She took her time clearing Natasha's back, making it all was well rinsed. Like she had suspected some of it was infected, irritating her back even more. Thankfully none of the scrapes was too deep so that was something at least. Natasha continued to just lay still, and Laura could feel her back rise and fall under her fingers as she worked carefully on her back.</p><p>Laura let out a sight when she finished. She felt like she should be doing more, but it wasn't much more to do really. She wanted to look at the redhead's collarbone too, but Natasha was still curled up on her right side, and the last thing she wanted was to move her.</p><p>She looked at her one last time before saying.</p><p>"Call me if it gets worse okay?" Laura whispered. Natasha only looked at her for a second before nodding. Laura turned around making sure her phone was on full volume before she slipped out of the room.</p><p>She had fallen asleep in Natasha's room yesterday, which had not been the plan at all. She hadn't even changed, and she was still clothed in what she had worn yesterday.</p><p>She could very clearly hear the kids up and awake downstairs. Would make sense considering it already was quite late in the morning.</p><p>Deciding just to put on some random clothes and brush her hair she moved over to her room. Before she did anything, she when to the bathroom to pee. After that Laura slipped out of her old clothes and into some new ones. She didn't need to look good for anything today. She had no plans on leaving the house anyway. And it was only the family that would see her today.</p><p>Downstairs she found all three kids by the kitchen table. Clint was standing in the kitchen making some sandwiches and Wanda was sitting in one of the chairs in the living room with a cup of tea in her hands.</p><p>A tea person, well that was for sure a difference from Natasha, who lived off coffee.</p><p>"Mommy!" Lila jumped off her chair and ran off to her. Laura opened her arms and hugged her softly as she ran into her arms. Lila was smiling happily.</p><p>"Hello Lil," Laura said with a small laugh, pushing her back towards the kitchen table again, following after her.</p><p>"Want coffee?" Clint said as she entered the kitchen area. He was turned towards her now. He was looking at her and she could tell he was trying to read her.</p><p>"What I want is to pump," Laura said with a small laugh giving Clint a grimace. Clint laughed back but ended up handing her a cup regardless. He was still studying her carefully, but he didn't say anything just looking at her.</p><p>"Dad said you were sleeping in. Was it a nice sleep?" Cooper said with a small smile. Laura looked at him with a smile before nodding. She could feel Clint's eyes burn in the back of her head.</p><p>"Yeah super nice. Thanks for letting me do that." Laura answered calmly back. Nice thinking from Clint's side. Maybe now she didn't need to worry about having the kids in her neck the whole day.</p><p>Clint nodded back at her conformingly. He knew very well where Laura had been tonight. She usually did end up at Natasha's room when she was injured. While she didn't like how she had just disappeared for 12 hours she knew Natasha had needed her more than the kids had. She was just happy Clint had kept it away from the kids. They didn't need to know their injured aunt was in the house.</p><p>"Are you guys ready to pick you a tree?" Laura continued as she sipped on her coffee trying to keep the conversation as normal as possible.</p><p>"Yeah, daddy said he knows about a Christmas tree farm." Laura stopped looking surprised at Lila. She thought they were only going into town. She didn't know about any Christmas tree farms close by. How Clint knew about any and not told her she was clueless about. Not that she really cared. If he wanted to take them to a farm, she was not going to stop him.</p><p>"Oh really, Clint." She turned to her husband lifting an eyebrow at him who was smiled at her happily.</p><p>"Yeah, it's an hour away, Kent told me about it. I know it will be a bit longer of a drive, but I thought maybe we could go regardless. I know you don't have any need to go, but don't you think it would be fun for the kids." Clint looked at her excited making her giggle softly. He clearly wanted to do this. It was cute.</p><p>"Yeah, I am sure you will have a great time. I will happily stay and keep the house alive when you are gone." Laura said still trying to kill her laughter. Clint really was a kid by heart.</p><p>"Is it okay if Wanda could borrow some clothes? I don't think the one jacked would be enough for the whole day." Clint said smiling, nodding at Wanda who was still just sitting in the living room, studying the family. She hadn't said anything through the whole thing and Laura had kinda forgotten she was there.</p><p>"Yeah, of course, I'll find something after I finish the cup," Laura said turning to the girl before smiling softly at Wanda. Laura finished her cup swiftly before putting away her pump. She was more than happy to find some clothes for Wanda.</p><p>She smiled at Clint before nodding at Wanda. Wanda stood up and started trailing after her as Laura lead her upstairs. She could feel the girl walk behind her, but the girl continued to stay quiet as they walked.</p><p>"You guys didn't bring anything right? No clothes or anything?" Laura said softly turning to Wanda as they got into the bedroom. Wanda looked at her before shaking her head no.</p><p>"No nothing. It was very spontaneous." Wanda said carefully. Her voice was low, and Laura almost missed it. She nodded at the girl in confirmation before signalizing her to sit on her bed before walking into her closet.</p><p>"How did you guys end up here anyway? Did Nat say something?" Laura tried. She wasn't sure if Wanda actually knew anything, but she could always try.</p><p>"Not really. She came home from a mission and said she needed my help. She seemed to be in bad shape. Like you clearly saw when we got her." Laura nodded slowly listening to the woman as she moved around in her closet trying to locate one of the sweaters Natasha had given her a few years ago. She knew it was warm and comfortable, but she didn't really know where it was. She hadn't even put away her summer clothes.</p><p>As she worked, she tried to think about what Wanda had said. She said Natasha had been on a mission before this. She was surprised Maria had let her go. Yes, it had been a while since the cardiac event, but still, it seemed very early to be out on missions already. Especially considering how hard it had been on her. This was obviously not any mission. But maybe Maria wasn't aware of how hard it was. Obviously, she would never have let Natasha go if she knew it would end like this. She wouldn't have let her go if she knew Natasha would have ended up getting….</p><p>
  <em>No. Don't think about it, Laura. Don't think about it.</em>
</p><p>Laura shook her head trying to push the thought away. She felt sick just letting the thought resurface. She didn't have time for this now.</p><p>"She just told me she needed to see you guys and needed help to get here." Wanda finished. Laura stopped and looked around the corner to look at the woman. Wanda looked at her with big eyes before saying slowly.</p><p>She didn't realize she was staring before Wanda opened her mouth.</p><p>"Why? Do you know anything?" Wanda said slowly looking at her suspiciously.</p><p>Laura was well aware Wanda could probably read her mind if she needed to, but really, she didn't know anything about the mission, so it was nothing to hide.</p><p>"No, no I don't know anything about the mission, no" She answered truthfully. She knew nothing about this situation other than what she had seen yesterday. "I just asked because I was a bit surprised seeing the two of you at my door with Natasha in such a bad shape that's all." Laura continued smiling at her.</p><p>Wanda nodded back. She seemed to a least believe her so that was something.</p><p>"Here, here is a sweater and a more wintery jacket," Laura said handing her the clothes with a smile. Wanda looked at the clothes for a second before saying.</p><p>"You sure you want to lend me these?" looked at her carefully. Laura looked at her surprised. That was not what she expected.</p><p>"Yeah, of course, you have nothing else to wear anyway. I don't want you to be cold." Laura said still a little bit shocked.</p><p>"Okay," Wanda said carefully holding tightly around the sweater. It reminded her a lot of Natasha's first visit. She too had been very low the first days. Thinking back gave Laura a small idea. She smiled at the girl and Laura watched as Wanda looked back at her surprised.</p><p>"Do you want to go shopping tomorrow?" Laura laughed as Wanda's eyes widened. Laura smiled softly before continuing not letting her protest. "I did it with Natasha when we met years back too." She said reassuring. Wanda nodded slowly still looking at her with wide eyes.</p><p>"You don't need to answer now. But the offer still stands okay." Laura said softly. She didn't want to push the girl, of course not, but she did think getting some clothes for the girl could be an idea. Natasha had no clothes at theirs and was mostly living off Laura's closet. Laura didn't really mind, but she had a feeling she would have nothing left if both Natasha and Wanda would do so. "Now get dressed and get ready to look at Christmas trees." Laura winked. She smiled one last time at the girl before turning around to leave. Before she could get out of the room Wanda spoke up.</p><p>"I don't like to read other people's minds. I don't do it anymore. Or not on purpose. But I could tell you were telling the truth. And you truly just want the best for Natasha. I saw nothing more. I promise." Her voice was low as she spoke. She looked up at Laura with big eyes.</p><p>Laura only looked at her back with a soft smile. She was so cute there she sat looking at her with those big eyes. She seemed so concerned, but Laura could tell she meant it.</p><p>"Don't worry about it, Wanda. I trust you." She gave her one more small smile before walking out of the room closing the door behind her. She liked Wanda. She really did.</p><p>They didn't get moving before 12pm, but at least they were finally getting somewhere now. Lila had been jumping around the whole day and Laura was not jealous of Clint having to deal with that amount of energy.</p><p>She knew they were going to have fun though. Before this year Clint had always gotten the Christmas trees alone. Of course, before the kids, Laura and Clint sometimes did go and get the tree together, but it's been a while since they got it from an actual farm. She knew Clint had been very excited just picking out the tree with the kids in town but finding an actual farm close by them had to be his dream.</p><p>"Okay, you guys behave now. And Clint <em>one</em> tree. Only ONE!" she looked at Clint with a firm look making him roll his eyes dramatically.</p><p>"Yes ma'am." He said as he pushed the kids out the door. She laughed softly as they ran over to the car. She smiled reassuringly to Wanda as the woman looked at her with some hesitation. The woman nodded back before turning following the rest to the truck.</p><p>Laura let out a small sigh as she closed the door behind them. Nate would wake up from his nap soon. If anything, she was surprised he hadn't woken up yet. Before he did, she was hoping she could get some cleaning done around the house. Or at least before they got back. And, of course, she needed to spend time with Nathaniel when he did wake up. Then she also needed to check up on Natasha.</p><p>Laura only got time to clean up from the kids' lunch before she heard some crying from upstairs. Nathaniel was wide awake as she entered his nursery. She smiled at the boy before picking him up.</p><p>Nathaniel was in a way very different from how the two others had been at that age. Copper had been very easy. She was very aware that Cooper was not a normal case. He had been a very easy baby and continued to be. Lila was the more hyper type but still very easy to deal with. Nathaniel was only 3 months old, but Laura felt he had a lot more personality already showing. Laura loved him, of course, but she was starting to get older now, and she was starting to get a bit more drained from energy every day.</p><p>Still, it was a joy to be with him. She spent the next two hours playing with the child. They were mostly on the floor, but it had been a lovely time before he was down for the third nap of the day. One thing that was nice with him was even though he was a light sleeper at least he was good and always slept in his crib.</p><p>Now that he was back in bed it was time to check up on Natasha again. Natasha had not called or texted her yet so that was something at least. She was kinda feeling like the day was just a blur at this point. Just going from different stations constantly. Never getting any time to just rest and take a break.</p><p>Laura found Natasha curled up on the bed. She had barely moved from where she had been when she left her hours ago. She was just a small ball laying in the big bed curled up on her pillow.</p><p>"Hey, Nat," Laura said softly walking over to the bed. Natasha looked up at her but continued to lay curled up not moving from her spot. Her eyes were following her as she moved and continued to do so until Laura was only a few inches away.</p><p>"How bad is it?" Laura asked crawling up in the bed letting Natasha curl up in her arms instead. Her breaths were short, and Laura didn't really need an answer to know it was still bad.</p><p>"Bad" Natasha only whispered back not even bothering to look at her. Laura only nodded before sliding down in the bed beside her. She could feel the girl shake in her arms. But she didn't say anything. And all they could do is being curled up together until they eventually fell asleep.</p><p>Laura woke up by a high child scream. She had been so deep in her sleep she didn't even realize it was still the day before she woke up with daylight still outside. She let out a small sigh. She had not planned on falling asleep like that. But guess that was what happened when she was running around most of the day.</p><p>They had only slept for a couple of hours, but her whole body felt heavy and unwilling to listen as she tried to move.</p><p>Laura stopped her movements when she felt Natasha shift. Was she shaking? She looked down as she watched Natasha flinch in her sleep.</p><p>Another loud scream shook her back to reality.</p><p>
  <em>Right. Nate.</em>
</p><p>She hated this. She needed to get him, but she didn't want to leave Natasha.</p><p>
  <em>Damnit.</em>
</p><p><em>T</em>his always happened, and it sucked every time. That was what they got when Laura was alone in the house with an infant. And this was of course not the first time they had this dilemma.</p><p>Laura tossed one final look back on Natasha. She flinched again, clearly having a bad dream, but before Laura had time to do anything Natasha's face melted into a relaxed neutral position again.</p><p>She needed to keep an eye on that. Her nightmares could easily get out of control and could sometimes be hard to get control over. Sometimes it even continued to affect her after she woke up. Laura had multiple times had to deal with Natasha's panic attacks and nightmares were definitely part of the reason it happened.</p><p>Laura jogged over to the nursery. The child was already in tears and was kicking around when she got there. Lovely. She didn't want to abandon any of them. And she hated how this continued to be a problem. But Natasha was sleeping still. If anything happened, she would hear it. So now she just needed to concentrate on Nathaniel.</p><p>The good thing about being with Nate was that he was easy to forgive. She loved being alone with Nathaniel and she couldn't be mad at a three-month-old for wanting some attention from his mother. And being around the kids, especially under four eyes, was just a blessing. It was just something about being with them alone that was just magical. They were all such good kids and Laura loved them more than anything.</p><p>She changed Nate's diaper as well as feeding him before playing around in the living room. Nathaniel was, of course, still very young, and being the three months he was, it wasn't really that much she could do yet. It was mostly the same things every day. Playing on the floor, eating, rolling around a bit, and such. But even when the activities weren't the most interesting things ever it was also a time Laura loved and treasured so much.</p><p>By the time he was down for his fourth and maybe last nap of the day Laura was smiling from ear to ear. He really did light up her world, and just for that one and a half hour she had forgotten everything bad in the world and could just focus on him.</p><p>But the second he was in bed Laura was reminded she had Natasha again.</p><p>She walked right into the room this time, not caring to knock. She was way past that point anyway. To her surprise, Natasha was now sitting in bed. She was leaning against the headboard with her eyes closed. She was definitely not sleeping, but she seemed surprisingly relaxed.</p><p>"Hi, Talia," Laura said softly moving over to the bed. Natasha opened her eyes slowly as she moved closer. She seemed better so that was a good sign.</p><p>"Hi," Natasha said back looking at her. At least she was talking now, something she hadn't really done much of earlier.</p><p>Laura took a moment to just look at her for a second before saying.</p><p>"Do you want anything?" Natasha was still pale. And Laura knew she hadn't eaten anything in the time she had been at the house. And knowing Natasha she probably hadn't eaten anything before it either.</p><p>"I'm not really hungry," Natasha replied tiredly. She didn't really like that answer. Laura looked at the pale face. She was not looking so well, better than before, but stile pale and tired like. She still gave her a small smile.</p><p>"I can make you something light. Like some soup or something?" Laura said, continuing to push. She watched as the redhead thought about it. She could tell she wanted to say no, but surely her body was going to start to fail her soon if she didn't get any food or water in her. She needed something inside her.</p><p>She knew the woman knew this too, but she also knew the woman wasn't feeling great while also being stubborn as hell. She was the worst patient you would probably have. And Laura hated her for it.</p><p>"Okay." Natasha finally said, looking at her before continuing. "But then I want to go downstairs too." Laura stopped in her tracks. Natasha downstair, now. That seemed like an awful idea. She could barely move yesterday. That would never work.</p><p>"Nat, I don't know. You are not well. I think maybe you should just stay here." Laura tried knowing already she probably would listen to her. Natasha only shook her head.</p><p>"Please"</p><p>Laura let out a small sigh before nodding.</p><p>"Okay" She only whispered.</p><p>Getting her downstairs went surprisingly well. She let Natasha take the lead and they got down faster than expected. What Laura really wanted was Natasha to lay down on the couch or something. But instead, she insisted on being close to Laura and ended up sitting down on one of the chairs by the kitchen tables with her head pointed towards the living room. Laura knew it was her favorite spot, giving her the best overview of the room.</p><p>As Laura cooked, she kept a close eye on Natasha. The woman was currently sitting staring into nothing. But she seemed calm and was clearly relaxed. A big contrast to the on-edge looks she had yesterday. She didn't know why she was so much more relaxed now. Maybe it was because it was only them in the room? She did not know. But it was a good thing.</p><p>Laura ended up making a very simple vegetable soup which was mostly just broth and water with some greens in it. It was at least easy to eat and not hard on the stomach. And it tasted nice too, so that was something.</p><p>She gave Natasha a small potion before starting to move around in the kitchen to clean.</p><p>The amount of food in front of Natasha was pathetic and you could barely call it a meal. Still, Laura could tell the woman was struggling to get anything into her. She was starting to wonder when the last time Natasha had had a real meal, because this was weak, even for somebody who was sick.</p><p>Still, Laura didn't push her to do anything. She continued to move around in the kitchen and living room area to clean trying to so seem to worry about the whole situation. Probably failing horrendously in the process. She could feel Natasha watch her as she moved.</p><p>Natasha spent a whole hour finishing the small bowl of soup. And when she was done Laura could tell the woman was completely drained.</p><p>"Do you want to stay downstairs some more or?" Laura said softly as she watched Natasha push the bowl away from her letting out a small sigh.</p><p>"No. The kids are at home." Laura wanted to open her mouth to protest, but to her surprise, she too actually heard the car driving towards the hours. Clint and Natasha never stopped amazing her over their crazy ability to pick up things like that even when they weren't actively listening for it.</p><p>Knowing very well Natasha didn't want to deal with the kids and wanted to get back to her room they slowly started to make their way up again. Unlike their trip downstairs, this was now getting drastically harder. Natasha was clearly starting to get worse again, and Laura could feel the weight getting heavier on her shoulders. Still, they made it up and into the room.</p><p>While she let Natasha get into the bed, she went to find something Natasha could sleep in considering she had been in the same clothes for two days. She grabbed one of her pajamas sets before heading back into the room.</p><p>Natasha was already sitting on the bed and Laura could see her eyes had locked on the clothes in her hands. Laura slowly handed her them, and she accepted them looking at her with distant eyes. Instead of changing right away, she looked down at them with big eyes. Laura looked at her confused. And it was only then Laura noticed she had tears in her eyes.</p><p>The redhead closed her eyes before dropping the clothes on the bed. She turned around before curling up on the bed and it was the Laura felt the guilt started building up.</p><p>Before she had time to say anything, she heard the front door open. Immediately she could hear laughter downstairs and she knew if she didn't get Nate by the next 30 seconds he would start screaming too.</p><p>She tossed Natasha one last look, who didn't look at her back, before running out of the room.</p><p>By the time she walked down the stairs the whole family was in the living room. Everyone had a big smile on their face. And you didn't need to be a detective to see that they had had a great time. Between them was a small tree. It was smaller than she thought it would be. But very fluffy looking. Which made sense because Lila was one of them that was picking it out.</p><p>"Well, I see you got the tree at least," Laura said with a small smile, trying to hide the worry she had inside.</p><p>"We got three!" Lila yelled jumping up and down.</p><p>Laura looked at Clint confused before saying. "Three. You got three?" Her voice was slow as she spoke. Still trying to process the fact that Lila had said three.</p><p>"Well yes. But the two others are going outside." Clint said smiling at her.</p><p>"Clint, I said one" She scolded, not really being angry. The kids were still laughing and of course, she couldn't be mad at them. But she could at least try to put on the show just to humor them.</p><p>"Well at long as I don't have to deal with them." She said still trying to sound mad even though she knew she had a big smile on her face.</p><p>"What is on the stove?" Laura got snapped out of her thoughts when she heard Copper speak up. The boy was standing in the kitchen looking at her with a small confused look. She hadn't even realized the soup was still on the counter. She had kinda forgotten about when she waited for it to cool so she could store it</p><p>"Just made some simple soup in case you guys wanted something warm in you when you got home." She tired, looking at Clint who was obviously not believing her at this point.</p><p>"But it's already a dirty plate here." Cooper countered pointing at the bowl Natasha had used.</p><p>"Well, I got hungry too. It's not only for the chiasmas tree goblins you know." Laura said laughing, trying to not seem too suspicious.</p><p>"If you want any you can always set the table" She continued looking at her oldest. Of course, he had noticed that. Why was she not surprised?</p><p>Clint gave her a look like the kids starting to move around in the kitchen. Laura could only look at him back. They could not have this conversation right now.</p><p>Thankfully the rest of the evening went more smoothly. The kids helped their dad put up the trees. Both the one inside and the two outsides. After that, they insisted on decorating it. Laura of course didn't stop them.</p><p>She wasn't too big of a Christmas person. She liked Christmas and being with her family, but after the one Christmas with Natasha years ago she had started to get some bad feelings around the holiday too.</p><p>Still, it was very nice to just be with the family. Pluss letting Wanda learn about Christmas was delightful too. When the kids had asked her if she wanted to help with the tree the woman had looked so shocked and surprised. She had of course accepted but it didn't seem like a thing she was used to.</p><p>Laura didn't even know if she was Christian and celebrated Christmas. But she seemed thankful for being involved, and Laura had no problem letting her be an honorable family member. The kids obviously loved her, and Clint was so close with her so she couldn't really complain.</p><p>After the tree was decorated, the kids were off to bed. They had way too much energy that night, and Laura spent a good hour just trying to get Lila down to sleep. Tomorrow was school so she knew if she didn't get to sleep soon it would be hell tomorrow.</p><p>When all three finally were in bed a nice silent atmosphere landed on the house. Laura was in the living room with Clint and Wanda. And to her surprise, the talk continued to go even long after the kids were sleeping.</p><p>The tree shopping had clearly been good for Wanda, and she had already started to open up.</p><p>Laura couldn't wait for their shopping trip tomorrow.</p><p>Wanda was such a nice, pure human, and she couldn't help herself as she felt her heart starting to care for this woman. She knew close to zero about her, but it was something about her. The kindness but also the drive-in her eyes that made Laura love her.</p><p>She adored this woman and it made her so happy. She had been scared that maybe she wouldn't like Wanda. What if she hadn't liked her, but Clint had? What if she didn't like the kids? Or what if the kids didn't like her?</p><p>Thankfully that wasn't a problem at all, and they all seemed to love her.</p><p>Wanda didn't announce going to bed before it was closer to midnight. When she did it was only Clint and her left.</p><p>Laura didn't feel like she had had time just alone with Clint in ages. Immediately she jumped closer to him and let him close his arms around her.</p><p>"How are you" he whispered into her hair hugging her tightly.</p><p>"Better with her home" Laura only answered looking up and into his eyes.</p><p>"How is she?" Clint asked looking down at her with big eyes.</p><p>She was not sure what to reply. She couldn't tell the truth. She didn't think Clint would harm Natasha, but she couldn't be sure he wouldn't tell anyone at the facility. Maybe Maria, maybe Steve. No, she needed to keep her promise.</p><p>"Not great. But could be worse. She needs rest." Laura only replied smiling before reaching up to kiss him softly. "I am taking Wanda with me to shop tomorrow. So, it will only be you and Nate." Laura said softly.</p><p>"And Natasha" Cint said with a low voice. He seemed nervous.</p><p>"Will probably just sleep" Laura replied. She was going to check up on the woman tomorrow morning. She was not expecting Natasha to do anything other than sleep. And she wouldn't be gone too long tomorrow hoping nothing would happen while she was gone.</p><p>"Okay," Clint said with a small smile, kissing her softly.</p><p>"Thank you for taking care of her."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I kinda have nothing to say so like yay?</p><p>Make it a great week and I'll talk to you soon<br/>Red / S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day Laura woke up after Clint which was a surprise. Usually, she woke up when Clint walked out of the room if she wasn’t awake yet, but this time she hadn’t noticed. The kids were obviously not awake yet because the house was quiet. Knowing they soon would be, she grabbed some clothes and got dressed.</p><p>If Clint was awake, he would have taken Nate already. So that meant she had time to check up on Natasha. She was happy she did. She didn’t know when she would have time to check up on her after the kids were downstairs. Getting them to school was always a whole mission in itself.</p><p>Again, Laura didn’t bother to knock on the door only pushing it open carefully as she entered the room.</p><p>Natasha was lying in the bed, but her eyes were wide open as Laure walked in. They were staring intensely at her as she moved. And Laura didn’t know why but she felt very small under her intense stare.</p><p>She had changed into the clothes Laura had given her last night which was something. They were a loose fit, not irritating her battle-scarred body too much which was the plan when Laura had gotten the set.</p><p>Laura watched as Natasha’s eyes followed her as she walked across the room. Following every single step. Every single movement.</p><p>“Hi, sweetheart. How are you?” Laura said softly crawling up and into the bed trying to ignorer Natasha’s cold look. If wasn’t before Laura was beside her and she let her hand glide through her hair Natasha’s eyes finally softened.</p><p>“Tired.” Natasha said with a sight before adding. “but better.” Laura nodded softly before continuing to brush through Natasha's hair.</p><p>“Do you want some painkiller again?” she whispered. She knew the redhead had emptied the boxes yesterday so if so, she needed to grab some new ones.</p><p>“Yes please,” Natasha said. Her voice cracked as she let out a small groan. Laura's eyes softened before moving out of the bed again.</p><p>She walked over to her own bathroom only to find out she only had one box of each left. She thought she had socked up more, but guess she was wrong. She needed to get more later today then.</p><p>When she returned Natasha had curled up again but opened her eyes slowly as she walked into the room.</p><p>Laura smiled softly before moving over to the bed. She let Natasha use her as a support when she dragged herself up in a sitting position. She could see her right wrist was swollen and blue. It looked somehow worse today than what it had looked yesterday. As if something had happened overnight.</p><p>She watched Natasha take the glass and swallowing the pills Laura gave her. It was very clear she was in pain, still, but she seemed a bit better. The burses on her neck were slowly healing and so were the hikes, not as visible today as yesterday.</p><p>“Your wrist,” Laura said slowly as Natasha handed her the glass back. Natasha seemed surprised by the question and looked down at her left arm. While her left also had some marks it wasn’t as visible and was not the one Laura was talking about.</p><p>“Your other one.” Laura corrected pointing at her right hand. Immediately Natasha’s eyes got filled with pain, and she almost seemed scared. Why did it seem like she felt guilty?</p><p>“Let me look at it please,” Laura said softly offering a hand. Natasha seemed hesitant but nodded slowly before letting her look at her hand.</p><p>It was completely blue around the wrist. It for sure seemed like she had been tied down as she suspected. You could even see the mark of a knot. But Laura also saw another mark, something that seemed newer. It looked more like something some handcuffs could make.</p><p>Laura let her finger glide across the bruise before carefully putting some pressure around it. The reaction was immediate as Natasha violently retracted her hand in pain. Laura looked at her surprised. Natasha too almost seemed shocked by her reaction and looked down at her own wrist which she was now holding around with her left hand.</p><p>“I'm going to buy a brace for it, Natasha. This is really bad.” Laura said. It was more a statement than anything. She didn’t want her to say no. It was clearly bothering her and was somehow still getting worse. It needed to get some support to heal. And considering how much Natasha was moving when she slept, she needed something that would support her at all times, even while she slept. It really seemed like the best option right now.</p><p>“But in the meantime, I'm going to tape it. Okay?” Laura explained looking into Natasha’s green eyes. Even in the dimmed light, she could see the hesitation. She was looking at her with a distant look while the worry was lingering over her. But even if the woman was resistant, she couldn’t care about that now. Something needed to be done if this was going to get better.</p><p>Laura, for the second time, jumped out of bed, to go to her bathroom. Clint had a collection of sports tapes, and he often taped his fingers or let Laura tape his wrist if he sometimes was a bit too hard on himself while practicing outside with this bow.</p><p>Laura rolled her eyes when she realized the only tape they had, was Hawkeye purple. But since they didn’t have anything else, she just had to go with it.</p><p>When she returned to Natasha’s room, she made sure to put the light on full power, so she had some more light to work with. Natasha was sitting in the middle of the bed looking at her as Laura slowly started to explain to her, her plan. She had a compression bandage in one hand and tape in the other.</p><p>“I'm going to put this bandage on first, so the tape won't irritate your skin too much, and then tape it. Okay?” Laura said as she slowly started to open the bandage. Natasha only nodded shortly before giving her, her wrist.</p><p>“Tell me if it's too tight okay,” Laura said before slowly starting to wrap the wrist. She was carefully trying to not make it too tight. This was only temporary so it didn’t need to be perfect.</p><p>She spent some time just doing the bandage before slowly starting to tape. Natasha continued to look at her the whole process, but not once did she say anything.</p><p>After 15 minutes Laura was done. She looked up at Natasha who only looked down at her wrist.</p><p>“How does it feel?” Laura said as she put down the tape. She watched Natasha trying to move her waist only getting rejected by the tape.</p><p>“Good. Thank you.” Natasha said with a small smile. Laura looked at her back before hugging her softly. She could feel Natasha lean into the hug.</p><p>They sat in the bed for a lite while. They didn’t talk much, they just sat there in the room. Laura was still unsure of how she should bring up and ask about what had happened. She wanted to know, but at the same time she of course didn’t want to push the woman too much. The last thing she wanted was to push the woman away.</p><p>She ended up not asking. Instead, they just sat there for another 10 minutes before Laura had to move downstairs to start the kid’s morning.</p><p>Their morning was always chaotic and had no structure to it whatsoever. She was a bit nervous about it since they had Wanda over. Not because the kids didn’t behave and such, more because she was maybe a bit scared it would overwhelm the other woman with all the yelling and running around as they tried to get the kids into the car.</p><p>To her surprise, Wanda didn’t seem to care. Instead, she was smiling most of the time, even laughing softly helping Laura to shove Lila out of the door to get into the car.</p><p>Wanda seemed to be in a very good mood and Laura felt no hesitation in her as she jumped into the passenger seat of the car.</p><p>The car ride was wild. For some reason, the kids felt even more hyper today and were bouncing around in the car the whole way. Laura could of course not do anything but laugh at them. She couldn’t complain about happy kids. Still, she was wondering where they got the energy from.</p><p>Surprisingly they got to school in time for a change. She didn’t know how she did it, but she somehow did. It had to be the first time in weeks.</p><p>The kids were running out of the car and Laura had to call after Lila so she wouldn’t forget her backpack.</p><p>“How do they always have so much energy,” Wanda said looking after the kids as they ran into the playground. Laura chuckled before saying.</p><p>“I don’t know. I wonder the same every day.” She turned around to look at the other girl. The woman was looking with an empty look out of the front window, but she had a small, almost sad smile on her lips.</p><p>“So you need clothes, but do you need anything else while we are out? I don’t know how long you are staying but some toiletries maybe. A toothbrush? Any lady products? whatever you need. I need to go to the grocery as well as the pharmacy but other than that it's entirely up to you.” Laura said softly as she started the car again.</p><p>The other woman didn’t answer immediately only looking blankly for a while before turning to the mother.</p><p>“Yeah, all of that would be nice,” Wanda said shyly. Laura smiled at the other woman. She seemed so insecure and Laura hoped she could change that like she had with Natasha.</p><p>“You know, Clint mentioned that he wanted to give you the guest room on a more permanent basis.” Laura tried to keep her voice as steady as possible not to make it sound like any big deal. It really wasn’t a big deal either, but she didn’t want Wanda to feel like it was any pressure on it.</p><p>Clint had actually mentioned that, even before Laura had met Wanda. Laura knew he wanted the woman to be a part of their family. And they had done it once before with Natasha, and Laura had no problem with doing it again with Wanda. They had more than enough space in the house. And if they somehow had both Natasha and Wanda home plus a guest, they still could easily find a spot in the house to put an extra mattress.</p><p>“Really?” Laura tossed Wanda a fast look trying to keep her eyes on the road as the woman whispered her reply.</p><p>“Yeah of course. Clint has wanted to have you over forever, and why not make it a bit more personal?” Laura answered simply.</p><p>“But I don’t want you guys to spend any money on-“</p><p>“Wanda, please. Do not think about it.” Laura cut her before turning around and looking at her seriously as she parked the car. “We want to. And our money situation is very stable. More than enough. Don’t worry.” Laura said looking at her making sure the woman was getting everything she was saying.</p><p>“Okay. Thank you” Wanda only whispered back making Laura smile softly.</p><p>Wanda and Laura spend a good couple of hours just looking at clothes. At the start, Wanda had been very resistant to letting Laura pay for anything they looked at. But Laura didn’t know if this woman really any money had to spend herself. The Avengers was mostly paid for by Tony and she had a feeling the way they got “paid” as the avengers was more him getting whatever they needed then and there rather than a check.</p><p>She had no problem spending a couple hundred dollars to make the girl happy. She had brought nothing with her, and it seemed like they would stay for a while. And she rather wanted to have some of Wanda's stuff at their place permanently than her needing to bring things with her every time she visited.</p><p>Besides she hadn’t been lying when she said they had more than enough money regardless.</p><p>Wanda, like her mentor, had a taste of very dark and plain colours. It was a kinda layback style, and not as “elegant” as Natasha liked to dress. But it was still a lot of grays. But unlike Natasha, Wanda liked necklaces, makeup, and accessories and spent a good 15 minutes just looking at that.</p><p>Laura had never once seen Natasha put on any makeup around the house. She never had, not even 10 years ago. She only wore it for events or press, or if she came directly from a mission. And one of the first things she did when she then got home was to take it off unless it was a very minimal amount, which she sometimes let slide. The only jewelry the woman ever wore was her arrow necklace or occasionally she had some piercings in her ears.</p><p>Wanda on the other hand seemed to like playing with makeup, and she always seemed to have at least one necklace around her neck. Laura had also noticed that when she arrived, she had a small scent of perfume. It had been a soft roselike smell. She couldn’t really place it, but she thought it smelled lovely.</p><p>Natasha had once told her she hated perfumes. It was a way to easy to get recognized by the smell. The only scented thing she used regularly was her shampoo which had a soft vanilla scent to it. Laura had never thought about it like that. Tracking people by their sent like that. But guess that was what happened when you were raised as a Russian spy under some of the most unforgiving people on the planet.</p><p>Wanda was very picky in the things she picked out. Not that Laura minded at all. She could tell the woman held back not picking out too much considering Laura was the one that was paying. But still, it turned into a total of three bags from 6 stores.</p><p>“Do you want to go somewhere to eat or do you want to just to the grocery store before the pharmacy and then heading home?” Laura asked as she put in the pin code for the latest purchase.</p><p>“I don't care. What do you want to do?” Wanda asked softly looking around in the store.</p><p>“I don't really mind either. It’s still early so we have time. Though we can always go to the grocery store and pick something out together for and then make lunch at home.” Laura said grabbing the bag from the counter. Wanda turned to her this time before nodding softly.</p><p>The two of them continued to make their way through the mall. They had already been in most of the stores, but Wanda continued to look around curiously keeping the phase quite slow, forcing Laura to stop up a few times to make sure she didn’t lose the woman.</p><p>Still, she didn’t ask to stop anywhere, only looking at all the windows with a happy look in her eye. Laura concluded that nothing really had caught her eye since she didn’t stop. She hoped that if it was something Wanda really did want, she would ask.</p><p>Laura had of course been here countless times and knew the mall very well. Though she did get surprised when she noticed a store she hadn’t seen before. It was a small music store. She had seen it getting advertised but hadn’t had the time to go there yet.</p><p>“Actually now that we are here, can we go there,” Laura said taking a sharp turn. She watched as Wanda looked at her confused, but only nodded not commenting on it.</p><p>“I've wanted to get the piano tuned forever.” Laura continued to explain as she walked. The piano was not used very often. Natasha was the only one that played if the kids didn’t decide to play with it. Still, it would make a nice Christmas gift to the redhead she thought.</p><p>The store was quite small. It was four pianos displayed as well as three keyboards. Other than that it had one wall filled width ukuleles and guitars. It was cramped, but still nice with a very calming atmosphere. She liked it.</p><p>It was only one employee there. A young man. Maybe in his late twenties. He smiled at them as they entered. Okay, maybe them was the wrong word to use considering he was really only looking at Wanda. But could she blame him? Wanda was a very pretty young woman so she could see where he was coming from.</p><p>Even if he was mostly interested in Wanda, he was still very helpful. They were apparently very booked throughout December, which of course was understandable. It was only one week and a bit until Christmas eve, so Laura already knew she was pushing her odds trying to get it fixed before the 25th. They decided a guy would come on the 27th to tune it instead. It would of course be after Christmas, but she could always just tell Natasha she was giving her the gift beforehand, and then at least it got done.</p><p>As Laura wrote down the address for them, she noticed Wanda looking at the wall of guitars. The woman was walking slowly along the wall studying every single instrument as she passed them. She had a very thoughtful look in her eyes.</p><p>“Do you play?” Laura watched as the woman jumped as she raised her voice. Wanda turned to her and shook her head.</p><p>“No” She smiled softly at the mother before continuing. “Got everything?” Laura looked at her for a second wondering what that change of topic was all about. Deciding not to think too much about it she only nodded slowly.</p><p>As they made their way over to the grocery store Laura noticed Wanda had stopped looking around. Instead, she was just looking straight ahead and had no problem keeping up with Laura as they walked. She was clearly lost in her head, but as long as she didn’t walk into anyone or lost Laura, she let her continue to think about whatever was going through her head. Laura didn’t want to bother her too much.</p><p>Food shopping was quite quick. She had written down a few things they needed for dinner, but she also just grabbed things as they went. As a mother of three now they usually ended up just having the same things for dinner every week. Just rotating one menu they knew worked with the busy schedule. And while Laura probably could have made some more exciting meals now and again, she usually ended up not doing so because either she didn’t have the energy or the willpower to do so.</p><p>Sometimes she did end up making some fun lunches for her and Clint just as a variation. This wasn’t often, but it was always nice when she did do it.</p><p>Wanda ended up requesting quesadillas for lunch and of course, Laura had any reason to say no. She hadn’t made quesadillas in a while, but she was sure with a good recipe it would be a nice lunch regardless. It wouldn’t take too much time to make either and she was sure Wanda was more than ready to help her make it.</p><p>While they walked through the store, she was sure to pick up some more soup materials as well as some ingredients for Natasha's favorite dinner. She wasn’t sure when Natasha would reveal herself for the kids, but when she did, Laura would make sure she could at least put on a nice dinner for the woman. Lasagna was very easy to make, and at this point, Laura knew the recipe by heart. She didn’t know why Natasha always talked about how she loved the dish considering it was one of the simplest dinners there was, but Laura wasn’t complaining. Maybe it was because it was so simple. Or maybe it was because it was so different from what she grew up with. Regardless of the reason, she was happy the woman liked her Italian family recipes so much.</p><p>They only had one stop left now. The pharmacy. Laura had been a bit unsure of what to do here. She of course needed to get the things for Natasha, but she also didn’t want to make Wanda worried. Course she still needed it done and she couldn’t back out now anyway.</p><p>Wanda thankfully did not ask any question as Laura looked at all of the wrist braces, and it didn’t take long before Laura found one, she thought would fit nicely. Then it was only painkillers left and when Laura walked over to the painkillers all Wanda asked for then was a packet of Advil for herself.</p><p>It had been a lovely day, and Laura was very happy she had suggested the idea. Wanda was definitely more comfortable around her now. She was happy she was. Wanda was a very nice girl and she loved getting to know her more.</p><p>They talked the whole car ride home, and Laura was definitely starting to feel the change in Wanda as the girl for the first time started to ask her question instead of the other way around.</p><p>As Laura pulled up in front of the house, she could see Clint in the window. He had Nathaniel on his lap in the living room and it looked like they had a lovely time. It was only just past noon, so he was up and wake after his second nap.</p><p>Part of her wished Natasha was downstairs with them, but she wasn’t surprised when she entered not seeing her there.</p><p>Clint turned his attention to them as they entered. Settling down Nate from their playing before handing him over to Laura.</p><p>“I don't think I need to ask how that went.” Clint laughed softly as Laura and Wanda put down all the bags. Laura only laughed back before walking over to the couch with Nate.</p><p>“I mean I had a lovely time.” She answered smiling at Wanda softly. Wanda hadn’t said anything yet only looking at Clint as he grabbed the bags with the groceries.</p><p>“Yeah, it was nice. But I don't know if I like how I got all of this. Are you sure you don't want me to pay you back?” Wanda asked carefully turning fully to Laura.</p><p>This time it was Clint's turn to laugh, making Wanda give him both a scared and confused look.</p><p>“She is definitely not going to accept anything like that. So you better just take it.” Clint said still laughing. Laura rolled her eyes at him as he continued to laugh only making Wanda look even more uncomfortable.</p><p>“I mentioned to her how we wanted to give her the other guestroom. We even got some pillows and new bedding.” Laura said smiling at her husband. He turned around giving her a surprised look before nodding happily at Wanda.</p><p>“I don't want to feel like I am intruding.” Wanda tried before Clint cut her off.</p><p>“We would love having you here more often. Please don't ever think you are intruding.” Clint looked at the girl with a serious look before softening saying. “I see some corn tortillas does that mean something not beadlike for lunch?” Laura couldn’t do anything but laugh at his switch before nodding happily.</p><p>The rest of their time without the kids turned out lovely. Laura ended up making some surprisingly good quesadillas with the help of Wanda. After that they just ate and talked for another three hours, just enjoying each other’s company. Clint was clearly very happy to have Wanda here and they talked a lot about training and how it was back at the facility. Laura didn’t really know what they were talking about most of the time, but she didn’t mind. She liked just listening to them talking, and it was also kinda interesting to just hear about it all.</p><p>She still hadn’t seen what kind of powers Wanda had, but she was starting to get curious as Clint started to ask if Natasha had started to work with her flying and her powers in combat. It sounded so crazy thinking this girl could do something like that. She was happy Natasha could supervise her. And she was happy Natasha also focused on training without it so she wouldn’t have to rely on it all the time.</p><p>It was starting to get late Laura didn’t have the opportunity to go up to Natasha before closer to three pm. The woman hadn’t sent her any text while she had been gone through, so that was something. She was hoping the woman had been mainly sleeping. She didn’t want to admit it, but she had kinda forgotten the other woman for a while there. She probably should’ve gone up and checked up on her, or at least given her the painkillers when she got home. But she hadn’t even thought about it. Wanda and Clint's happy mood had just made her forget about the worry for a while, and it had been so nice.</p><p>As Laura walked up the stairs, she felt the familiar feeling of worry come back together with the guilt. She took a deep breath before slowly opening the door. The room was dark. The blinds were down, and it was not a single light source in the room.</p><p>It took a moment to just adjust to the dark. Her immediate instinct was to look at the bed only to find it empty. To her surprise, Natasha was actually sitting on a chair by the window. She was obviously not looking out the window considering it was hidden by the blinds. She was only looking into the dark. Into nothing really. The woman did turn her head when Laura closed the door though. So at least she was somewhat present.</p><p>“Hi.” Laura tried softly as she started walking over to the woman. She couldn’t barely see anything in the dark and had to slow down to make sure she wouldn’t trip. She could feel the other woman’s eyes following her as she watched his every movement, before standing up slowly to walk and meet her in the middle. Laura watched as the woman took a seat on the bed.</p><p>“May I?” Laura said pointing at the light on the nightstand. The woman nodded slowly before leaning over to the other side of the bed to do the same.</p><p>She knew the woman was very light sensitive when she felt sick, so she was happy she let her turn on some lights.<br/>
The two lights were still not very strong, but at least now Laura could actually see the other woman.</p><p>She was pale, at least it seemed like it in this lighting. She had bags under her eyes and was very clearly still tired. Laura had a feeling why, but she didn’t feel like bringing it up now.</p><p>“How are you?” Laura tried as she slowly started to open the bag she had brought up with her. She could feel the other woman stare at her. And she didn’t reply before Laura lifted her head again to look at her.</p><p>“Not dead.” It was not an answer Laura appreciated but she decided not to comment on it only starting to pick up all the things from the bag.</p><p>She had been smart this time, bringing up a water bottle with her. It was her favourite water bottle from Swell. It was great at keeping the water cold, but still not being as big and inconvenient as most thermoses tended to be.</p><p>She handed the woman the water bottle, but Natasha only looked at it not moving.</p><p>“For the painkillers,” Laura said softly throwing the two boxes at her carefully making them land just inches away from her. The woman looked at them for another second before slowly accepting the water bottle. She seemed very out of it, and it worried Laura.</p><p>She watched as Natasha slowly swallowing both pills before drinking a nice amount of water. Unless Natasha walked downstairs and got herself some food, something she very much doubted, the woman probably hadn’t eaten anything. This was also a concern, but Laura wouldn’t have time to make something light for the woman before after the kids were going to bed which was still quite a few hours in.</p><p>“I got this for you too,” Laura said lifting the brace. Natasha looked at it carefully, but she didn’t protest or say anything, only letting Laura take her right arm carefully.</p><p>Laura looked at her one more time to make sure Natasha was okay with it before slowly unwrapping the tape and bandage. She didn’t know why she thought it would look better now than what it did this morning, but she couldn’t help feeling a slight disappointment as she let her hand glide over the bruised wrist.</p><p>“It has this metal support to make it even more sturdy, but because the fabric so stretchy you need to tell me if it’s too tight or not,” Laura said as she slowly placed Natasha's hand in it and closed the Velcro.</p><p>“It’s okay.” Laura was almost surprised when she heard Natasha speak up. She looked at her before smiling softly.</p><p>“How is the head,” Laura asked softly before opening her arms letting Natasha curl closer. She had a feeling the woman was mainly struggling with her migraine today judging by the way she was acting. She was very used to this at this point, but it still hurt knowing the redhead was struggling so much with this, years later.</p><p>“Feels like it’s going to fall off” Natasha mumbled leaning on Laura's chest. Laura let out a small laugh before leaning back herself, resting against the headboard of the bed.</p><p>“Tell me about your day,” Natasha whispered. Laura could see the woman had closed her eyes now and was clearly just relaxing trying to maybe finally get some rest.</p><p>“Nice,” Laura whispered softly letting her hand glide through Natasha's hair. “Wanda is lovely.” Laura smiled as Natasha let out a small laugh and a small sigh.</p><p>“She really is.” She mumbled back.</p><p>Laura was debating if she wanted to say it or not, but when Natasha looked up at her when she didn’t answer Laura let it slip.</p><p>“She reminds me a lot of you.” She watched as Natasha's eyes widened in surprise. Laura smiled back at her and watched the other woman go through every single calculation in her head to figure out where Laura got that from.</p><p>“Calm down Nat,” Laura said softly laughing at Natasha's wide eyes. “I just see a lot of similarities in the two of you, that’s all.” She smiled. The woman looked at her for a moment before saying.</p><p>“I hope she never turns out like me.” It was Laura's time to get caught off guard. They looked at the woman in disbelief. Did she hear that right?</p><p>“Nat, you can't be serious?” Laura said still really confused how the woman could even say that.</p><p>“That’s just what I think,” Natasha said simply. Laura shook her head wildly.</p><p>“Natasha you are an incredible person. And I have said it so many times before. You are amazing and you seriously need to learn to see that” Laura poked her side forcing Natasha to look up at her. The redhead seemed concerned. And while they had had this conversation where the woman talked herself down so many times before, it felt different this time for some reason.</p><p>Natasha smiled at her sadly before saying. “I guess people change”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A/N: Happy holidays guys. Nice timing for this chapter even though this was not planned. I took a small break. I finish the NaNoWriMo challenge so that good. But after that, I took a break. I didn't beta either just worked a lot in December and focused my time on just work and holiday things. But now the holiday is soon over, and I hope I will be able to start writing again.</p>
<p>A lot of things are happening in this chapter (and the last chapter.) looking forward to when you guys can see what I'm talking about and see what's ahead. It's kinda wild but that's the point.</p>
<p>Hoping you're having a great week and you had a great holiday regardless of if you had any celebrations or whatever, and I'll talk to you soon.</p>
<p>(also, as If my stories already didn't have enough typos this is not like beta-read at all. I might go through it soon but as for right now, it is how it is. Just needed to post something.)</p>
<p>Red/S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Laura woke up by two kids running around in the house and one baby screaming at the top of his lungs. She turned around on her other side just to find Clint with the pillow over his head.</p>
<p>"Not even 7" Clint only mumbled making Laura laugh softly. It was officially Christmas day and apparently, the kids were now ignoring all rules in the morning. Of course, she wasn't really expecting anything else considering Christmas was their favourite. And this year would be extra special, but still, would have been nice with an hour more or so.</p>
<p>"How nice would it be with just one morning without them being all over the place?" Clint said turning to Laura fully now making her roll her eyes. He leaned in kissing her softly. She could only smile into his lips before mumbling.</p>
<p>"Maybe in a few… ten years," Laura said with a small grimace before pulling his arm to get him up from the bed.</p>
<p>"Still, I have to say, I am quite excited about this one too," Laura said softly turning to Clint with a small smile. He looked back at her before nodding.</p>
<p>"Wanda being here definitely doesn't help the situation, no," Clint said before leaning over kissing Laura carefully again, making her smile.</p>
<p>"I am really happy she wanted to celebrate here. I was kinda expecting her to want to go back." Laura said as she stood up from the bed stretching her arms over her head with a small yawn.</p>
<p>"Well, I don't think she could have left without her," Clint said before turning to her again. "Besides, I think she is really starting to feel more <em>at home</em> here." Laura smiled at the last part of the sentence. She was really happy Wanda had decided to stay regardless of what reason she may have, but it was really nice to just hear it from Clint too, that they actually had made her feel at home and made her feel comfortable.</p>
<p>Her thought train got interrupted as they heard another scream.</p>
<p>"Do you want Nate or the two others?" Laura asked as she started to dress herself. Outside she could see some snow falling from the sky. The last time they had snow at Christmas was the last time Natasha was here at Christmas years ago.</p>
<p>"Considering Nate always will choose you over me in the mornings, I will take the crazy duo." Laura laughed again before nodding. She slipped out of the bedroom to go get the boy.</p>
<p>He was very much awake, and Laura could only start trying to calm him down before starting on his morning routine.</p>
<p>She changed diapers and nursed for a while before slowly making her way down. As she spent time with her youngest one, she noticed how the two others had started to die down. She had no idea what they were doing now, but usually when they were quiet something was up. Usually nothing good.</p>
<p>"Should we see what your crazy siblings are up to?" Laura said to the boy making the child reach after her.</p>
<p>"Yeah, that's what I thought. I don't want to know what mess they have made either." Laura said shaking her head before picking him up.</p>
<p>As she walked down the stairs, she braced herself for whatever madness the kids had done now. She didn't know why but she didn't have a great feeling about the whole thing.</p>
<p>Laura barely got her head through the door when Lila ran up to her throwing herself around her legs.</p>
<p>"MOMMY! NATASHA IS HERE!" Laura could feel her whole body freeze. How, what, when?</p>
<p>Since Wanda came, the kids hadn't even thought about Natasha or poked their heads at her bedroom, so they had, without any problem, kept her hidden. The kids seem to have kinda forgotten about her. Only Cooper had asked once. They only answered that Natasha was invited to join them for Christmas if she wanted, but she was, as always, very busy so they couldn't promise anything.</p>
<p>It was partly true. Laura had of course talked about Christmas with the redhead, but she never did give her an answer. In fact, Natasha had shown no interest, nor the energy capacity, to go downstairs and be with the kids at all. She barely got out of her room and Laura had ended up just nursing her back to health in her bedroom. Not that she really had a problem with that. If Natasha needed time alone that was what she could give her.</p>
<p>Even just yesterday the woman had been struggling, having a huge setback when she all of a sudden lost her balance when she tried to get to the bathroom. It had been really tough on both of them. And had caught them both of guard. So, her not wanting to celebrate Christmas, which was hands down the day of the year the kids were the craziest, was very understandable.</p>
<p>But now the woman was sitting by the kitchen table and somehow looked way better than she had done just 12 hours earlier. She was definitely paler than usual and her eyes were very clearly tired. But the kids didn't seem to care as they both seemed over the moon.</p>
<p>The woman smiled softly at her and laughed as Lila started to drag Laura with her. But even if Natasha seemed happy something seemed off. She didn't know why, but it just felt, wrong.</p>
<p>Laura noticed how she had decided to go back to the turtleneck. While her bruises had gotten better on the 12 days she had been here, they were still visible, and Laura understood why she wanted to hide them. Clint still knew nothing about it and the kids would for sure ask about it if they were to ever see it. Another decision Laura had to agree with, as it seemed to be the smartest move.</p>
<p>What did surprise her was how Natasha was now wearing her wrist brace. She hadn't used that the last 7 days and Laura thought it was getting better. Maybe she was wrong. The woman had her left hand resting over the brace and Laura could already tell it was bothering her even now. And that really was weird actually.</p>
<p>Deciding not to overthink it too much she tried to focus her energy on something else. To the left, beside Natasha, was Wanda. The other woman looked tired, which was understandable. It was still very early, and she didn't blame the teen for wanting some more sleep. She had her hair tucked behind her ears and she hadn't bothered to put any makeup on yet. Still, she smiles softly at Laura when they locked eyes.</p>
<p>"Natasha so wonderful to see you!" Laura tried to keep her voice as normal as possible as she spoke. She smiled at Lila as she let go of her leg and they both moved over to the kitchen. She threw Clint, who was standing by the counter, a confused look before handing him Nate to give Natasha a hug.</p>
<p>She tried to keep the hug as genuine, but also be as careful as possible, as she wrapped her arms around Natasha. She knew Natasha's body was still bothering her and she didn't want to accidentally hurt her more. She was still so confused. What was she doing here? Why was she downstairs?</p>
<p>The woman looked at her with a look that said <em>keep it normal, please. </em>And Laura could only nod shortly before smiling.</p>
<p>"I think we need some food." Laura finally said pulling back and looking at the kids.</p>
<p>They didn't really have any breakfast traditions, they just made something everyone liked. This year was pancakes as well as some bread Laura had baked last night which you could pair with all kinds of things. Some fancy jam Clint had gotten. Some beautiful ham. Some really nice cheese. Really whatever you could think of.</p>
<p>Laura liked how they had such a nice variety and not having the feeling of being tied down to something specific just because the "tradition" said so. It made it possible to have something on the table everyone would enjoy and as the kids got older too maybe they would someday settle down on something. But right now, just doing whatever they wanted that felt the most right.</p>
<p>The kids didn't really want to sit by the table for very long. Lila was almost jumping in her chair at this point. And Laura couldn't do anything other than roll her eyes at her. Cooper was a bit better behaved. He had always been better at controlling himself, but he too seemed very eager to get to the next part of their morning. Opening presents.</p>
<p>Still, the adults did not hurry. Clint just talked about everything and everything and Natasha and Wanda both laughed softly at him, seamlessly joining the conversation.</p>
<p>Having Wanda around was super nice. She had been an amazing company and the kids adored her more every day. Laura had talked about Christmas a bit with the girl, but she still wasn't sure if the woman had actually celebrated Christmas before. Religion for Laura had never been an important thing. She would never judge a person just for their religion. While her family did celebrate Christmas, she would not say her family was very Christian. They did it more just as an excuse for family time and nothing more. She was raised with an open mind and she wanted her kids to have that too.</p>
<p>Wanda was looking at Natasha while the redhead spoke softly to Lila. Her eyes were shining in the most admiral way, and Laura couldn't do anything other than just smile at that herself. She knew Natasha was very important for the younger girl. But it was just something, something about seeing it like this.</p>
<p>Wanda, like the kids, hadn't seen Natasha in the last weeks. She obviously knew she was in the house unlike them, but she hadn't had the opportunity to talk to her. But now that they were together, Laura could definitely see in the girl's eyes how much she looked up to her. How much she cared for her. How much she appreciated her.</p>
<p>Natasha on her part did an excellent job hiding everything from the kids. If Laura hadn't actually seen the damage, she wouldn't have known either. She seemed completely normal, talking so softly but also so happily and nothing could tell you what had really happened. How hurt and broken she really had been and still was.</p>
<p>As much as the kids tried to kinda keep it under control and talk to their aunt soon they got very restless. At one point the kids got so bored sitting by the table and Laura decided to just let them go. They wouldn't open the present yet, but they could go and play, and Nate could take his second nap as they did. It's been a while since they had a baby around Christmas, so they needed to change some things about how they did everything regardless, but Laura thought it would be nice to have a break between breakfast and presents. They hadn't put out everything last night, so they needed to fix a few things anyway.</p>
<p>The kids ran out of the room and the second Lila disappeared out of the room Laura could see Natasha sink down in her chair letting out a small sigh.</p>
<p>"You okay Nat?" Laura asked softly as she started to clean the table still trying to keep it kinda normal.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Just a bit tired. And my head hurts." Natasha said leaning back in her chair before closing her eyes. Laura turned to Clint and gave him a look. He only raised an eyebrow before continuing to clean in silence.</p>
<p>None of them talked as they finished cleaning the room. Wanda shadowed Laura as she used to, finishing every single task Laura started.</p>
<p>As they had gotten more and more comfortable around each other Wanda had actually shown her how her powers worked. She even sometimes used them around the house to finish different chores. But she never once did it around her kids, and Laura was very thankful for that.</p>
<p>Currently, she was washing off some dishes with her levitation powers while slowly floating some others into the dishwasher. Laura watched as Natasha followed the flying plates with an almost concerned look in her eyes.</p>
<p>"If you want you can go and take a shower. We probably won't do anything in at least one hour. I can take the bathroom downstairs to shave and you can take the shower" Clint said turning to Wanda as she finished up the last dish.</p>
<p>She looked between the three adults who all nodded in confirmation before smiling at them and handing Laura the damp towel.</p>
<p>The woman mainly used the bathroom downstairs when she washed up in the morning. It was quite small with only a sink and a decent size mirror, but Laura and Clint had decided to let her use their bathroom when she wanted to shower so she didn't need to share with the three other kids. She was still a teen in Laura's eyes, and she thought it would probably be the most comfortable not having to share a bathroom with two kids and a baby.</p>
<p>"Thank you for your help," Laura said with a small smile. Wand smiled softly back before she walked out of the door followed by Clint who winked at the two women as he left.</p>
<p>Laura looked after the two of them until they both had officially left the room before shifting her attention.</p>
<p>"I know I just asked, but I will ask again. Are you sure you are okay?" Laura said turning to Natasha after Wanda and Clint left. Natasha looked at her with a small, tired smile, before nodding.</p>
<p>"Yes, I promise…." She stopped for a second before letting out a small sigh. "But I do feel a little bit sick." Laura could see how Natasha was forcing it out clearly not wanting to admit it. The face Natasha gave her made Laura feel a small clump in her stomach.</p>
<p>"If it gets too much please tell me. Do not hesitate. Nat, I need you to be early giving us warming." Laura dragged a chair over closer to her, staring at her. She did not want to take any risks with her. She wasn't even sure if she liked that the woman was even downstairs. She could see why the woman wanted to be here, of course, she did, but she was still a bit concerned.</p>
<p>Natasha nodded before smiling at her. She let her eyes hang over her for a while before she finally opened her mouth again.</p>
<p>"Has…. Wanda been worried?" Natasha's voice was low as she spoke. She looked worried and Laura felt bad because she knew she couldn't lie to the woman, but she also didn't want to make her worry more and put even more things into her already overworked mind.</p>
<p>"She has asked a few times. But as long as I updated her along the way she seemed to calm down. I just think she needed to know you were getting better." Laura said, trying to really keep it as casual as possible. She could see Natasha didn't buy it completely, but she didn't say anything. She only nodded slowly.</p>
<p>"She trusts you. I can tell." Natasha said looking at her with a serious look. The way she said it sounded more like a statement than anything else. Laura looked back at her confused, not really sure what to respond.</p>
<p>"I guess so?" It sounded more like a question and not an answer. She could see Natasha let out a small laugh, probably because the woman looked very confused.</p>
<p>"She does. She would never have used her powers around you like that if she didn't. Her powers are connected to her emotions. And change and shift as her emotion do. If she wasn't comfortable around you, she wouldn't have dared to use them." Laura just stared at her. That sounded so, inhuman. Already just powers that could levitate and control things with just an…. orb of red power… thing was very unnatural. Still, at the same time, it also made so much sense it would connect with her feelings.</p>
<p>Laura had definitely noticed Wanda had a lot of emotions and was a very strong person with opinions. But she was also good at controlling them. And as she got comfortable, she got more confident.</p>
<p>"She told me she could tell I was telling the truth," Laura said slowly looking at Natasha with a small, confused look. She had actually been thinking about that for a while now. Because one thing was Natasha and Maria being able to read her like an open book. But they were like former superspies. Wanda was different. And Laura had a feeling the reason could read her was <em>because</em> she was different.</p>
<p>"She doesn't have full control over her mind-reading yet. Or correction, she did until she started to put it way not to use. It was a big change for her. She told me once, some people are just easier to read. Mostly them with strong emotions. As if their aura just kinda overflows." Natasha said with a small smile. Laura didn't really understand what she was saying but she only nodded with a small smile back.</p>
<p>"Thank you for taking care of her, making her feel so welcome." Laura let out a small laugh making Natasha lift an eyebrow.</p>
<p>"How is that funny?" She asked suspiciously making Laura laugh even more.</p>
<p>"Because you sound exactly like Clint did when I took care of you," Laura said with a small smile jumping even closer to Natasha giving her a soft hug.</p>
<p>Natasha turned her head and looked up at her with a smile.</p>
<p>"Do you want to go up to your bedroom and just nap for an hour?" Laura said with a small smile as she talked into Natasha's hair. She could feel the other woman nodded, but she didn't move before Laura stood up first.</p>
<p>Laura let Natasha upstairs ahead of her so she could peak into the bathroom Clint was in.</p>
<p>"Nat and I are going to take a power nap until Nate wakes up okay?" She said smiling at Clint through the mirror. Clint nodded at her before turning around to look at her.</p>
<p>"Is she okay?" He too sounded concerned. Both of them knew Natasha was very good at hiding things from them, especially when it came to her health. She was pretty sure Clint too was thinking about the last Christmas she was here where it all had turned into a disaster. And the main reason for that was simply because the woman had hidden everything from them and Clint and Laura had been too late picking up on it. And while they hadn't talked about it, they both knew that was the last thing they wanted.</p>
<p>"I'm not really sure, to be honest. She is hiding something. But I don't know what." Laura said simply before turning in the door.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I just hope we find out." She could hear Clint talk but she decided to not answer. He knew she agreed. But discussing this now wouldn't help anyone anyway.</p>
<p>When Laura walked into the room, she found Natasha already curled up in the bed. Laura smiled softly at her before joining her laying down under the cover. Soon she could feel Natasha curl up around her and soon she drifted off to a nice dreamless sleep.</p>
<p>When Laura woke up 50 minutes later Natasha was already awake. She was playing softly with her hair letting her hands brush it softly while at the same time massaging her neck carefully. Laura moved her head to look at her and Natasha only smiled back at her purring back as Laura was eyeing her.</p>
<p>"You sleep well?" Natasha asked softly, continuing to play with her hair. Laura nodded letting out a heavy sigh as Natasha let her thumb brush over a very tense part of her neck slowly massaging the knot out.</p>
<p>"God, you are so good at that." Laura could feel herself melt under the redhead's hands letting a loud moan slip out as Natasha started to use both of her hands on her neck.</p>
<p>"You sound like Clint haven't touched you in years, and I know that's not true considering you birthed out a child three months ago." Laura laughed softly rolling her eyes at the silly comment.</p>
<p>"Well, I wouldn't complain about more of this," Laura said looking into Natasha's green eyes. She smiled at her and Laura could see the sadness in her eyes. The redhead had seemed so sad lately, but she had no idea why and obviously the woman didn't tell her either.</p>
<p>Laura could hear the downstairs was now very much alive and they needed to go down and join them soon. They did need to start opening gifts soon if they wanted to finish before Laura needed to start on the dinner. Natasha and Wanda had of course not brought any. But Clint and Laura had already quite a few just to the kids between the two of them. And they always had some for Natasha regardless of her spending the day with them or not. Plus, when they found out Wanda was joining, both of them, on separate occasions, had gone out just to buy her gifts. Laura was very happy with this year's gifts and she was very excited about the exchange, she just didn't want to like…move.</p>
<p>But after five minutes of just lying there, they decided to move. Laura watched as Natasha spent a good 20 second to sit up in the bed. She could very clearly see the woman's body was aching and bothering her. Though she really thought she would be better now.</p>
<p>Still, they made it downstairs and found everyone else in the living room chatting with hot chocolate in their hands. Laura smiled softly at Clint before taking a seat on the couch with Natasha jumping close to her on her right side. The two kids were on either side of Wanda and Clint was in a chair with Nate on his lap.</p>
<p>"I feel like you guys are waiting for something," Natasha said leaning forwards looking at the kids with a small smirk. Making both of the kid's squeal.</p>
<p>Clint had clearly brought out the gifts they hadn't put out last night, and now the living room was drowning in presents of all shapes and sizes. And at this point, Laura had really no control of any of the gifts. She only knew what a few of them were and the rest she didn't remember.</p>
<p>They ended up just taking random gifts opening them as they went. It was of course mostly gifts for the kids. And mainly just toys they could play with. They got some practical things too, but those weren't close to as interesting for the kids.</p>
<p>Clint had ended up getting quite a few nice gifts for the women. Laura and Clint had a mutual agreement to never given each other too many gifts just because the best gift was just to give back to the family. When they needed something, they rather wanted to buy it when they had the chance. And even more, random objects were definitely not needed in the house considering they had toys more or less overflowing the whole house already.</p>
<p>Still, they had of course gotten a few things to exchange. The best gift was when he handed her an envelope with some tickets inside. It was two tickets for a Broadway show next spring. It was ages since she had been in New York and going to a musical was a dream.</p>
<p>To Wanda, he had ended up giving her multiple small things. Most of them were practical and just small things. But his main gift was an empty bulletin board and a beautiful silver journal. When Wanda gave him a confused look he only laughed before saying. "It's up to you to fill them with whatever you want. To express yourself, to remind yourself how wonderful life is. And to treasure everything we have." Laura watched as Wanda's eyes softened and it almost seemed like she was going to cry. She smiled at him hugging the journal tightly before mouthing thank you.</p>
<p>Between the four of them, Natasha was the one that got fewer gifts. Not that the woman seemed to be complaining. She seemed slightly distant regardless of telling them she was feeling fine when they asked. The kids didn't seem to notice their aunt was out of it, but she was clearly getting worse, and Laura was definitely feeling her own stress increase as the woman got lower and lower.</p>
<p>Laura could see she was playing with the Velcro on her brace on her wrist as she watching the kids open the gifts. Her eyes were glossy and got more and more distant as they went on.</p>
<p>Still, the woman got very happy when Laura told her she was getting the piano tuned. But when Laura told her when he was coming over, she seemed to turn sad again. And it was such a weird switch making Laura wonder what was going on.</p>
<p>But even when Natasha was down, everything else was going smoothly. Wanda seemed to be living in a dream, smiling more or less the whole time. Laura was very happy she enjoyed the day even though Laura would have loved to give her even more gifts.</p>
<p>The kids were more or less finished in the living room at this point and were off to their rooms to play with everything. Now it was the only gift left, Laura's main gift to Wanda. She had on purpose not mentioned earlier and waited for the kids to move along just because they would start either whine about not getting it themself or taking away from the real reason Laura ended up with this gift. Truth be told, it was her favourite gift of the day and she had been looking forward to seeing the woman's reaction for days.</p>
<p>"I have one last thing for you," Laura said softly as Wanda was slowly folding a sweater Clint had gifted her. Wanda turned to her and looked at her surprised.</p>
<p>"It's in the corner." Laura pointed at the gift resting in one of the corners of the living room. She had placed it there hoping the kids wouldn't notice the one big gift that was for none of them. They thankfully hadn't, and the only one that had noticed it was Natasha who had eyed her the second they walked into the room.</p>
<p>"That big one?" She asked carefully nodding at it.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Go get it." Laura said with a smile not even trying to hide the happiness in her voice.</p>
<p>She had tried to be smart with her gift wrapping. Partly covering it with cardboard before wrapping it not to give it away. Still, the second Wanda unwrapped the top part she could see the woman freeze. She turned to Laura and looked at her before looking back at the big gift that was still not even close to unwrapped.</p>
<p>"Just open it!" Clint exclaimed making Natasha laugh loudly at the man.</p>
<p>Wanda slowly ripped the paper off revealing the big black guitar case. She looked at Laura one last time before opening the box slowly revealing the guitar inside.</p>
<p>Even the case in its own Laura was very happy with. It was a beautiful black case with red velvet inside. But the guitar was just beautiful. She had spent quite a while just staring at all of the different guitars trying to figure out what she wanted to go for. The one she ended up with was a light colour wood guitar with a dark neck and gold details. But what really made it unique was the triangular sound hole instead of the regular circle one making it look elegant and modern. Two words that so very well described Wanda.</p>
<p>"This is too much. I don't know if I can accept this." Wanda said looking at Laura with big eyes. Before Laura had the time to answer Natasha said softly.</p>
<p>"Believe me, she won't take it back, nor use it. And she won't return it either, so you better just take it." Wanda turned to her mentor and looked at her with big eyes still clearly confused. Natasha only looked at Laura with a small smile before saying.</p>
<p>"She gave me something similar for my first Christmas too. Just take it" The redhead continued smiling at the woman softly. Laura couldn't have said it better herself. She actually had said the exact same thing 10 years ago when she gave Natasha her ballet shoes. She knew the redhead was very aware of the sentence she had just said, winking softly at Laura.</p>
<p>Wanda only looked at her with big eyes before letting her hands carefully glide over the neck of the guitar.</p>
<p>They finished up tidying the room for all of the wrapping paper before Laura walked over to the kitchen.</p>
<p>It was time to start dinner.</p>
<p>Christmas dinner was always a mix between beef and stuffed pork. They really didn't need to do two big main dished like this, but that was how Laura and Clint always had done it. Laura didn't mind spending some time in the kitchen anyway. She loved to cook and so making the food was no problem for her. She enjoyed this part.</p>
<p>Natasha was fast on following her into the kitchen immediately falling into Laura's flow seamlessly taking over half of the kitchen. The two of them were incredibly synchronized in the kitchen. They always had. Since Laura taught her to cook the redhead had so easily turned into this amazing shadow who just did exactly what she needed without never having to ask or with any orders.</p>
<p>Laura threw a look over her shoulder to watch the redhead work on the stuffing for the pork not saying a word as she worked. Laura couldn't remember her ever showing her the recipe for the Christmas dinner before, but the redhead had of course just taken the recipe out of her hand starting on her own.</p>
<p>The redhead was completely lost in her own head when Wanda walked into the kitchen throwing a look around.</p>
<p>"Do you need any help?" her voice was soft as she spoke walking over to Laura. Laura could see Wanda was watching Natasha carefully.</p>
<p>"Yeah, why don't you wash those asparagus for me, and then you can put on some water for the potatoes?" Laura said softly as she continued to prep the piece of meat she had in front of her. The woman nodded with a small smile before starting to work.</p>
<p>With three of them in the kitchen, the dinner was finished in record time. Natasha had finished her half of the dinner in two-thirds of the time Laura would have used. She wasn't surprised that Natasha had taken the complicated part of the dinner, Laura's own family traditional recipe, and absolutely knocked it out of the park. In both speed and presentation, she had ended up with something that looked better than Laura could ever dream of. But she wasn't surprised by this in the slightest. Natasha was an incredible cock. Even if she didn't want to admit it.</p>
<p>Pork wellington was definitely not a traditional Italian Christmas dinner, but for some reason, that was the part of Laura's upbringing that was the least Italian. Normally it was just a very simple recipe. Of course, Laura found it hard to make it both look good and being cocked nicely. And every year she struggled with it just as much as she had done the previous year. But here Natasha had a perfectly backed dish. She had even gone and made a small flower pattern on top. It was both unfair and incredible how the woman could just pick something up for the first time and somehow always ending up with a perfect result.</p>
<p>Wanda and Laura had together taken the other half of the dinner with the steak plus all of the little things like cooking the potatoes and setting the table.</p>
<p>This was the most mouths Laura had to feed for Christmas dinner in a while. Maybe for once, they wouldn't have a mountain of leftovers.</p>
<p>The dinner ended up being lovely. They never got dinner ready before quite late. And even though Natasha had been speedy with her part, both dishes needed the oven, and Laura and Wanda had not been as fast with their half. They ended up not getting the dinner ready before half-past six.</p>
<p>This was the day of the year the kids were up and awake the longest not counting the new year. Nate didn't last the whole dinner, so Clint ended up putting the baby to bed in the middle of the dinner, but other than that it was perfect.</p>
<p>The kids were still very high energy but that was okay. They went on about talking about all of the gifts they had gotten. And Laura was so happy they enjoyed their Christmas. If anything it seemed they had enjoyed it especially much this year, which was just amazing if anything.</p>
<p>They spent a few hours after dinner just talk and play with the kids before they were off to bed. Laura and Clint took one each, but the task of getting Cooper to bed now was not easy. Laura spent a good 10 minutes just laughing with the boy as she tried to tuck him into bed. He was still good and soon the ten-year-old fell asleep after a chapter of one of the Christmas books they were currently reading.</p>
<p>She knew she had the simpler job getting him to bed. When she was walking out of his room, she could still hear Lila up and awake. She just laughed and shook her head before slowly making her way downstairs letting Clint continue with the girl.</p>
<p>To her surprise, she found the downstairs almost completely clean and empty. Between Natasha and Wanda, they had cleaned more or less everything after dinner and put away all of the gifts. Now Wanda was sitting with her legs crossed on the couch by the fireplace with a book in her hand while Natasha was standing alone in the kitchen drying off the last plates from the dinner. Her hair was now in a loose bun and she was wearing a concentrated and slightly concerned look in her eyes.</p>
<p>Wanda smiled softly at her when she entered the room but lifted a finger in front of her mouth to stop Laura from talking as she tried to open her mouth. Wanda shook her head softly before nodding at her phone that was resting against her leg.</p>
<p>Laura looked at her confused, but Wanda only pointed at Natasha. And it was only now that Laura noticed the earpiece in Natasha's ear.</p>
<p>The redhead was not talking at all she was only looking straight forward with a look that made Laura feel slightly uncomfortable. It was cold and distant, clearly lost in whatever was said on the other end.</p>
<p>Laura continued to watch her for a bit before taking a seat beside Wanda picking up her own book.</p>
<p>They sat there for a while just reading not disturbing the other woman. Laura continued to throw glances towards the other woman now and again. But not once did she opened her mouth to say anything and Laura was starting to wonder what the other person was talking about since Natasha didn't speak at all. She had finished the dishes long ago and was now currently looking out the window with a blank look in her eyes.</p>
<p>After ten minutes Natasha slowly picked out the earpiece with a slow movement. The woman seemed almost a bit lost as she slowly put it away in a case. To Laura's surprise, Natasha picked up a phone Laura had never seen before. She knew it wasn't Natasha's personal phone.</p>
<p>Was this work?</p>
<p>The woman was just standing there looking at the phone for a while before putting that away too.</p>
<p>She decided not to ask when Natasha finally joined them, she only tilted her head before mouthing <em>are you okay? </em>The woman only nodded at her with a small smile before picking up her own book to read.</p>
<p>The room fell into silence and the three women continued to read their own books in peace until Clint joined them after another five minutes.</p>
<p>It wasn't before he finally did join them that the talk started again. This time without the kids the adult felt into a soft conversation. Even though they had had a full day with lots of things happening none of them seemed to be ready to go to bed just yet.</p>
<p>Wanda was smiling softly as she listened to Clint talk about some of the previous winters and how they liked to play around in the snow. Laura loved how the young woman seemed to really tressure every moment of life. She was so open to learn and listen and seemed to really try to make the best out of everything. Laura knew her childhood had been rough with everything that happened in her home, and then the experiments giving her those enhanced abilities. It had to be traumatic to live through all of that at such a young age. But now she seemed so happy and playful. Of course, you could definitely see the more insecure part of her. And she was very mature to be just 20, which probably was a side effect of losing her own parents at a young age. But as she got more conformable around them, she also started to lower her walls and just played around. It probably also helped how Clint too was really a child at heart taking her under his wing so early on. Being able to be both like a father figure and a friend.</p>
<p>It was such a nice atmosphere in the room Laura almost missed how silent Natasha was. She hardly spoke and it wasn't before Laura actually locked eyes with the woman, she got the realization of how extremely unrest the woman actually was. She was sitting in the chair slightly leaning forward playing with her hand holding around her injured wrist. On her face, she had a frown, and she was clearly thinking about something completely different.</p>
<p>Still, she answered softly "yeah. That winter was crazy" When Clint stopped his sentence to look at the woman. When Clint didn't continue to talk Natasha for the first time turned her head and looked up at the meeting their eyes.</p>
<p>"What?" She said looking at them confused. She genuinely didn't seem to clock the fact that she had been staring out into nothing for 30 minutes.</p>
<p>"You seem a bit… distant." Laura could tell Clint was very unsure about how to go about his wording as he spoke.</p>
<p>The woman only looked at him still a bit confused before answering softly. "Guess I was just lost in my head then." She said with a small smile.</p>
<p>"Well stop it then and start focusing on me. You know I need lots of attention." Natasha rolled her eyes dramatically before throwing a pillow at Clint.</p>
<p>"Don't know if you're worth my time, old man." Clint laughed loudly before throwing the pillow back at Natasha making her catch it, so it didn't hit her head.</p>
<p>"You know I love you right?" Laura turned her head surprised at the same time Clint lifted his eyebrow looking at her with a confused look. She turned to Wanda who only shook her head just as confused. Where was this coming from then?</p>
<p>"Yes?" He answered slowly continuing to look at her while she lowered her own eyes.</p>
<p>"Even if I do stupid things sometimes." Natasha continued, playing with the pillow in her hands nervously, not looking up at any of them.</p>
<p>"Well, it depends what you are…"</p>
<p>"Clint just answers the damn question." Natasha cut him off with a sharp tone making Laura almost drop her jaw. It was so harsh and rude. Completely out of character making Laura feel extremely uncomfortable.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I guess so?" Clint answered trying to keep his own voice as calm as possible looking at the annoyed agent in front of him.</p>
<p>"Good. Please never forget that." Natasha looked at him fast one last time before she stood up and walked out of the room.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>oh my god I've been looking forward to this part of the fanfic like mad. Like it's the part I've wanted to write from the beginning. Just because I think it will be crazy, but also so fun xD just opening so many possibilities.</p>
<p>I'm just really ready okay.</p>
<p>I think it's gonna be a very fun not chapter, but like chapter in Laura's life, ya know. Not fun for her. But for me… you'll know what I mean in a bit okay. (I am excited okay)</p>
<p>Anyway, lots of things happened last chapter and lots of things will happen in this chapter. Hang on tight it's going to be a crazy ride. (Please don't get mad at me)</p>
<p>Red/S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Laura was sitting in the chair with a cup of tea in her hands. It was still early but her house always woke up before sunrise anyway. She was watching the kids run around outside enjoying the snow. It was the day after Christmas and the day had started out with a lovely breakfast before the kids wanted to go outside. Wanda was currently with them. She could see them playing in the snow with Wanda watching them and occasionally throwing a snowball at the two of them.</p>
<p>Clint was currently taking a shower and Nate was napping. She wasn't sure where Natasha was at the moment, but she decided to not disturb the woman. She had seemed so stressed yesterday and Laura didn't want to make her more stressed by hanging over her shoulder.</p>
<p>Still, she lifted her head when she heard footsteps upstairs. They were barely noticeable, but she heard them. They were going back and forth and never seem to stop.</p>
<p>She continued to listen for a while, but when they didn't die down after a minute, she put down her mug before slowly making her way upstairs. She could tell it wasn't Clint so it could only be one other person.</p>
<p>She stopped in the middle of the staircase as she watched Natasha phase back and forth in the hallway. Her eyes were on the floor and she took a whole lap before she lifted her head and looked at Laura.</p>
<p>"Hi?" Laura said with a small smile leaning on the railing looking at Natasha. The redhead looked back at her for a second before her face finally seemed to relax.</p>
<p>"Hi. Sorry if I was disturbing you." Natasha said looking back at her. Her voice was soft, and nobody but Laura would have noticed the small, stressed tone in her voice.</p>
<p>"Don't worry. You weren't. I just wanted to check up on you. Are you okay?" Laura said with a calm tone watching the redhead slowly let her shoulders down. She was clearly very stressed, and Laura was starting to really get worried. This wasn't the normal "stressed" this was different somehow. She had seen the woman stressed before; this wasn't it. It felt off, but she had no idea why she got that feeling, it just felt…Strange.</p>
<p>"Yeah. Yeah. I just have…. Things on my mind?" Natasha said stumbling over her words. "Do you want to go outside? We can take a small walk maybe?" she added fast. Was she trying to stall?</p>
<p>Laura looked at her surprised but only nodded. "yeah sure. Nate will probably wake up soon. We can take a walk yeah." She said still confused about the whole thing.</p>
<p>After Nate finished eating and Laura had changed him into something warmer, she and Natasha made their way outside. The kids didn't pay them any attention as they slowly started to walk along the road and away from the house. Laura wasn't surprised they didn't care. And she had to let out a small laugh as they only continuing with their play not giving their mother any attention.</p>
<p>Most of the walk was silent and Laura could feel how tense Natasha was beside her. She constantly looked around and over her shoulder as if she was expecting somebody to jump them at any second. It was only 10:30 and it felt like most of the world was still on hold. As the world was still sleeping recovering from Christmas day.</p>
<p>"You trust me, right?" Natasha walked in front of Laura forcing her to stop abruptly. The woman was looking at her with a worried look in her eyes and Laura could tell something was up. Her eyes were very clearly nervous and her whole body language was on edge.</p>
<p>"Natasha, what is going on?" Laura asked looking around confused. She couldn't see anything out of the ordinary. Only snow and trees. When she still didn't catch anything out of the ordinary, all she could do was to turn her head back towards the redhead to look at her. The woman continued to only look at her waiting for an answer, and Laura was finding it hard to get a good read on her.</p>
<p>She had said a similar thing to Clint and had gotten angry when he hadn't given her the answer she wanted. Why did she continue to ask about this? And why was she so stressed?</p>
<p>When Natasha's face gave her nothing, she let her eyes wander downwards trying to get <em>anything </em>from her body language. She squinted focusing on her hands for a second when she noticed her holding a tight grip around her right wrist. It was in a brace today as well.</p>
<p>Was she shaking?</p>
<p>Laura ended up not getting the time to answer before Natasha spoke up again.</p>
<p>"I need you to leave." Natasha snapped making her jump out of her thought rain.</p>
<p>Laura just stared at her. What did she just say?</p>
<p>"Excuse me?!" Laura said looking at her in disbelief. The redhead looked at her with two stressed and scared eyes. "Natasha I am not going to leave my house just bec-"</p>
<p>"Laura, do you understand I would never say something like this if." Natasha stopped in her sentence spinning around. Laura jumped back when she watched Natasha in under a second click of the safety of her Glock aiming around like crazy. She wasn't aware the woman had brought a gun with her, but she was aiming around, with her stance low, as she was ready to fire any second.</p>
<p>This was completely different from her normal calm stance she usually had when she normally handled a gun. She had seen Clint and Natasha train before, and Natasha was usually so in control when she was working with weapons. She was never like this; she was never tense and nervous.</p>
<p>She stood like that for five seconds just looking around before turning to Laura again grabbing her arm with a hard grip dragging Laura after her with a firm tug. She almost tripped over herself when she felt Natasha give her the yank letting out a small yelp as she was forced to follow the redhead.</p>
<p>Laura wrapped her arms around Nathaniel who was in his carrier on her stomach holding around him as if she was holding on for her own life. She had no chance of stopping the redhead and all she could do was to comply. Following without a fight as Natasha continued to pull Laura back towards the house still with the gun in her hand.</p>
<p>"I need you to take the kids to the car," Natasha said with a strict voice not even turning back to look at her. Laura didn't know what to respond. Natasha had never done anything like this. She never carried weapons around her. And she had certainly not told her to leave the house.</p>
<p>She didn't know what to do. What could she do? She had to listen to the woman. She had no other choice really. She could see the seriousness in Natasha's eyes. And she trusted the woman. Of course, she did.</p>
<p>
  <em>Right?</em>
</p>
<p>When they got back to the lot Natasha let go of her giving her one sharp look before walking towards the house. Laura could only slowly make her way over to the kids and Wanda.</p>
<p>She could feel her hands shaking as she spoke to the kids. She told them they were going on a trip. She didn't say where and why. She only gave them one look when they question it. Making both of them shut their mouth in an instant. Thankful they didn't ask any more questions.</p>
<p>All she could do was to help them into the car after fastening Nathaniel in his seat. She was happy they actually had a truck that had space for 7 and not only 5 like before. It had been Natasha who had insisted on upgrading the one she had given them years ago. She had insisted on getting them one where you could put up two extra seats in the trunk if you needed. Laura had been resistant since it was only a couple of years ago got a new one from Natasha. But at the end of the day, she had given in. Now she was very happy she had.</p>
<p>She only gave Wanda a small look as she opened the trunk for her to climb into the back. The woman gave her one look back. It wasn't questioning. It was just a small, scared look. As if she could feel the stress that was currently running through Laura's body. She didn't say anything. Only climbed in and fastened her seatbelt.</p>
<p>Laura took one deep breath as she closed the door. All the kids were in the car. But she had nothing for Nathaniel or any of them really. She knew that by the back door leading to the kitchen was a diaper bag filled with all kinds of things for Nate. They kept some things in the car as well, but she knew that bag had a lot of supplies that could at least last for a day.</p>
<p>She could feel her whole body tense up as she slowly walked towards the house. She hadn't seen Clint or Natasha and she had a bad feeling. A really bad feeling.</p>
<p>The second she opened the back door she felt her whole body go cold. Natasha was standing in the kitchen in a defensive stans and Clint was currently doing the exact same on the other side of the room in the door by the living room to the hallway.</p>
<p>"You are not making me go anywhere by threatening me, Natasha. Either you tell me what's going on or…"</p>
<p>"Don't piss me off Hawkeye." Natasha's voice was only a growl as she took a step forward.</p>
<p>Laura couldn't get her body to move even if she tried. She watched Clint flex his arms ready to punch after her if he needed to. And Laura knew, if they collided now, this could easily turn very serious and very dangerous very fast. Worst case, fatal.</p>
<p>"We both know you cannot punch our way out of this. So, lower your arm and walk out that door right now." Natasha's continued. Her voice went from annoyed to scarily threatening in just one sentence as if she was mocking him from where she was standing. Challenging what formerly was her loyal partner.</p>
<p>"Nat. Listen to me okay," Clint said slowly taking a step forward. Immediately Natasha responded by lifting her own arm threatening.</p>
<p>"Love is for…" Clint tried again walking slowly forwards trying to reach the woman.</p>
<p>"Is making you delusional." Natasha only laughed before throwing herself forwards.</p>
<p>Laura almost screamed as she watched Natasha throw herself at her husband. With one swift motion, Natasha dragged Clint down with her. Clint fell on the floor with a loud thud while Natasha herself landed softly a summersault already proving she had the upper hand. Natasha whipped her head around towards both Clint and Laura locking her eyes with her for the first time since she entered the room. And before Laura could stop herself, she sprinted forwards.</p>
<p>"Stop!" She didn't even recognize her own voice as she screamed in fear. The response from the two of them was immediate. In a millisecond Natasha threw her head up before jumping towards Laura with a look in her eyes that reminded her of nothing but a predator while Clint threw himself the opposite way.</p>
<p>"Put the bow down Hawkeye." Natasha's voice was cold and almost a light laugh as she spoke. Laura could barely breathe as she felt Natasha tighten the grip around her throat resting the knife impossibly close to her neck.</p>
<p>Laura could only look at Clint with fear in her eyes as he continued to aim the bow at Natasha.</p>
<p>"Nat put the knife down. You don't want to do this." Clint's voice was shaking as he tried to talk to the other woman.</p>
<p>She could feel the redhead laugh behind her before saying coldly.</p>
<p>"You know very well if it is ever down to my reaction versus yours, we both know who will win. Don't we." Natasha tugged at Laura one last time forcing Laura to look back at the redhead. To look at her cold emotionless face.</p>
<p>Laura wanted to cry as she looked between what was supposed to be her best friend and her husband. Both with a weapon in their hands ready to kill any second.</p>
<p>"Get away from Lau…"</p>
<p>"THEN LEAVE," Natasha screamed. Laura felt herself pressing her body up against the redhead when she finally felt the blade against her skin. She was shaking in the redhead's strong arms as she tried desperately to get away from the knife that was only getting closer.</p>
<p>"Clint please." Laura only whispered letting one tear fall as Natasha tightened the grip again forcing Laura to start fighting her. She could feel her body panicking for the first time in years. It was like everything was trying to crush her from every single angle and she had no escape. She could feel herself trying to wiggle out of Natasha's strong grip. With her whole spine tightening as Natasha continued to force her to stand still.</p>
<p>"Let her go!"</p>
<p>Laura almost fell to the floor when Natasha gave her a hard shove, only barely keeping herself on her feet, stumbling into Clint's arms.</p>
<p>"Take the dumb bag and leave." Laura turned her head slowly in Clint's arms and watched the redhead pick up the bag before walking up to them. She could feel Clint freeze as Natasha shoved the bag into his arm giving him one last cold look before passing them.</p>
<p>"Get out!"</p>
<hr/>
<p>They had been driving for hours. It was way past sunset and it was pitch black. Outside you could only see a few feet in front of you and it was hard to picture out anything from the surroundings. Laura watched the snow dance over the front window. As they continued down the black road.</p>
<p>She turned around to look make sure the kids were at least partly with them. Wanda was sitting behind her by the window. Resting her head on the glass. She had a concerned look on her face, but she smiled when she locked her eyes with her.</p>
<p>Lila and was in the middle, sleeping, resting her head on the older girl. Nate was sleeping in his own seat. He had been sleeping for most of it. Thankfully. Lastly was Cooper, who was in the back now. And he was too sleeping.</p>
<p>She was happy the kids were sleeping at least. They had been so good when they got explained how serious this was. No questions, just listening, and following orders. She was thankful they understood the seriousness and didn't question it, because it was serious. They had no idea what was happening and all she knew was that Clint needed to get them back to the facilities. To the avengers.</p>
<p>She had a feeling they were close now. She didn't know where they were, but she knew they were outside of the city. They had been driving for hours and she had lost track long ago. Not that she had paid much attention either.</p>
<p>Clint was staring out the window intensely. They had been switching between them with who was driving, of course, but Laura didn't really know where they were going so Clint taking the wheel at least for the last couple of hours was the most logical thing.</p>
<p>The adults were really just barely hanging on. They were all so tired, and even when they weren't driving none of the adults had gotten any sleep. They had done this for more or less 13 hours nonstop. They started around noon. Now it was past midnight. And driving with heavy snowfall, and for most of the time, the dark was extremely tiring for both of them.</p>
<p>They had tried to keep the breaks as short as possible. Only stopping when somebody needed the toilet, to feed Nate and get food for the other grownup. It wasn't in any way ideal, but they had to. They had continued to drive.</p>
<p>Because they were desperate.</p>
<p>Desperate to get away.</p>
<p>To get somewhere safe.</p>
<p>Laura had for the first time of the day just drifted to something that felt like sleep when she woke up by a strong light shining on the car. She opened her eyes to see a big spotlight pointing straight at them making her lose everything of any night vision she ever had.</p>
<p>They were at a big gate and Laura could see a camera on one of the columns blinking red. They stood there for a good 15 seconds before the gate slowly started to open. She turned to Clint to look at him, but he only looked straight forward pushing down the paddle and they slowly continued to drive.</p>
<p>They continued to drive for a few minutes along the dark road. It was only trees around with no lights. She had no idea where they were, but she could feel Clint knew. He knew where they were now. She could feel him for the first time in 13 hours lower his shoulders.</p>
<p>And soon Laura could see why.</p>
<p>She could barely see it, but between the trees, she could see the forest open up and some lights were breaking through. Some white buildings slowly started to form in the dark.</p>
<p>They were finally here. At the Avengers facilities.</p>
<p>Maria was already there ready to help them inside as they pulled up at the entrance. She was standing there hugging herself in a big coat. Shielding herself from the harsh wind and snow. It was 2 at night so most of the lights were off. Still, Laura could see some light way up at one of the top stories and it was a couple of light outside with Maria as well.</p>
<p>Laura could see the concerned face Maria had as they pulled up, but as they stopped Maria's face softened. She smiled softly at Laura as she exited the car.</p>
<p>They didn't bother to do all the hugging they normally would have done. They were all too tense. To tried. To stressed.</p>
<p>"Follow me." Maria's voice was soft as she spoke. The other woman opened the door on Wanda's side, letting her out before carefully leaning into the car picking up Lila. Clint was already in the middle of unbuckling Cooper from the back, so it was only Nate left now.</p>
<p>Laura walked to the other side of the car opening the door slowly. She lifted him carefully out of the car, while Wanda grabbed the one bag they had brought with them. The one bag that is supposed to cover the whole family.</p>
<p>They all followed Maria in silence, not saying anything as they walked through the empty hallways. Maria had Lila, she had Nate and Clint had Cooper. All of them in the dark just walking without a single word. She was thankful the kids were still sleeping. The two eldest were heavy sleepers in general. But she was surprised Nate didn't wake up.</p>
<p>She had no idea where Maria was taking them, but she didn't really have the energy to ask. She trusted Maria. And she knew she wanted to help. Besides, what other choice did they have at this point?</p>
<p>They took an elevator up to one of the top stories before exciting on one of the top floors. In front of them was a beautiful hallway. Unlike the rest of the rooms they had passed, this seemed very much like a normal home and not as industrial. They passed a few rooms. One of the doors was open and Laura could see a big bedroom on the inside.</p>
<p>Maria stopped in front of a door signalizing to Wanda to open it. Wanda nodded slowly before pushing the door open. Inside was a big bedroom with two single beds, a double bed, and a crib. They didn't need to ask before they carefully placed the three kids down on the bed.</p>
<p>Laura could not believe Nate had actually slept through that. But she was not complaining as she watched all three kids still sleeping soundly in the unfamiliar room.</p>
<p>She smiled as the former spy turned on what seemed like a baby call before nodding at the door. The three others could only follow her out of the room before she closed the door behind them.</p>
<p>"Friday, alert us if one of them wakes up okay?" Maria said as she started to guide them through the hallways again.</p>
<p>"Yes, Hill" A woman's voice came out of nowhere and Laura could feel herself freeze up for a second. But she knew better than to jump when she felt a little bit of fright. Maria laughed softly at her before saying.</p>
<p>"It's always nice with some backup." Laura could only nod not entirely sure what to answer.</p>
<p>Maria stopped in front of a big glass door. They could already look straight through the thing, but Maria only smiled at them before nodding at Laura and pushed the door open in one swift motion.</p>
<p>"Welcome to the new Avengers facilities."</p>
<p>It was a beautiful living room under the big panorama window. It was stunning, and Laura could feel her jaw open as she looked around the whole floor. It was so big. It had a modern design, and everything seemed to be of the highest quality. From the chairs to the lights in the ceiling to just the small plants in the corner. Clearly, it was a lot of money and time behind all of this. And words couldn't really describe what she was feeling as they moved slowly over the floor.</p>
<p>One floor over Laura could spot a kitchen looking over the living room. And just from her awkward angle, she could see the beautiful modern kitchen layout.</p>
<p>"Wow" Laura only let out as Maria leads them through the living room and to a staircase leading them upstairs. She hadn't noticed them earlier, but upstairs at one of the tables were already Tony, Steve, Sam, and Rhodey seated. But worse of all. She could also see Pepper. Pepper Potts.</p>
<p>Laura turned around to look at Clint. To see if he was expecting this, but he too seemed very surprised to see them all. She watched as he looked back and forth between them as he was in the same shocked state as her.</p>
<p>"Well now that we all are here. I don't think we need to introduce ourselves. This <em>agent</em> already told us last time she "<em>knew all of our names</em>" so" It was Tony who spoke up first. Of course. His sarcastic voice made Pepper roll her eyes and Maria let out a small sigh before offering them a seat. Laura looked slowly at Clint who just nodded at her softly. She felt extremely awkward as she slowly pulled out a chair to take a seat by the table.</p>
<p>"Does any of you want something to drink?" It was Steve this time. His voice was way softer than Tony's, but he seemed tense still. He looked at them all trying to get an answer out of them. When none of them answered he just stood up and went through the cabinet. He was obviously just grabbing random things at this point. Like Apple juice and milk. But even when nobody had requested anything everyone reached after a cup or glass when he put down the tray. Because for some reason the idea of some juice now seemed like a great idea even though it was in the middle of the night.</p>
<p>Laura was playing with her glass waiting for everyone to get their drink of choice before Maria finally broke the silence.</p>
<p>"Okay let's just get this over with. Clint, Laura, what happened?" Her voice was firm and straight to the point. It was no point in trying to stall or talk their way out of it. Just finish this already. Everyone just wanted to get this over with clearly.</p>
<p>"Honestly I don't really know," Clint said looking at Laura and Wanda who both decided not to say anything.</p>
<p>"Well, we obviously don't know anything either. All we know what you told us on the phone. Which was for the record. Nothing." Tony said with a sarcastic voice rolling his eyes dramatically.</p>
<p>"Tony calm down." Pepper hissed looking at him with an annoyed look.</p>
<p>"I am just saying that all we know is that Natasha decided to go all crazy. And while I will say she is a wildcard; I am pretty certain <strong>none</strong> of us expected her to turn on us like that." Tony said ignoring Pepper completely.</p>
<p>"She just told us to leave. We don't know why." Laura added. Ignoring the part she had treated her with a knife and fought Clint. She didn't want to think about it. And honestly, the last thing she wanted was the Avengers to start fighting over it. What Natasha had done was completely out of character and she knew that the second they told them it would change more or less everything,</p>
<p>Obviously, Maria didn't buy it. She looked at her with a suspicious look tilting her head. She wasn't even hiding how she was clearly reading Laura's every move and her body language every passing second. She could very clearly tell Laura was lying, and she knew she could not hide it anymore.</p>
<p>Clint too seemed to notice Maria's behavior. He looked at them for a second before taking a deep breath and saying. "She threatened us. Both of us. She fought me throwing me over her shoulders. Before." He paused and the whole room held its breath as they watched him talking.</p>
<p>He took one breath before saying. "Before she pulled a knife at Laura."</p>
<p>The reaction in the room was immediate and she watched as Maria tensed up, Steve drop his jaw, and Pepper looking at him in shock.</p>
<p>Nobody said anything. They only stared at her with a look as if they didn't believe what Clint had just said.</p>
<p>Laura only lowered her head. She could feel her own tears press on the back of her eyes. She could feel her hands shaking around her cup. She only looked up when she felt a hand on her thigh. To her surprise, it was Wanda who looked at her with a soft look in her eyes.</p>
<p>"Laura. We need to know what happened. What she said to you and how she acted to know what our next move is. Do you understand?" Laura only shook her head when Maria tried to get her to talk. The other woman looked at her with hurt eyes. But Laura didn't want to talk. She felt like her throat had locked up and all she wanted to do was to leave the room and cry her eyes out.</p>
<p>"Well, we need to know more than that. We need some kind of motive. Clint?" She could hear Steve talk. It felt like he was standing miles away. She didn't want to be a part of this conversation.</p>
<p>"I barely remember anything. All I remember was anger." She could hear him reply. His voice still seemed angry. As if he too didn't want to have this conversation.</p>
<p>"Wanda?" It was from Steve again. It was a tone in his voice. But she didn't know what kind. She didn't know what it meant. She didn't care what it meant. Still, Laura could feel the reaction beside her. Wanda moving her seat.</p>
<p>She could feel Wanda squeezing her leg again making her meet her eyes. The young woman looked at her with a soft smile. As if she knew where she was coming from.</p>
<p>"Please?" It was like she felt some kind of warmth's behind her eyes and for a second it all seemed to turn red.</p>
<p>She closed her eyes for a second. And it was like her head got sucked backward for a second before she heard Wanda's soft voice. As if it almost seemed like it was coming from… behind her eyes.</p>
<p>
  <em>Do you trust me?</em>
</p>
<p>Laura opened her eyes looking at Wanda with tears in her eyes. It was like she already knew what would happen. But maybe it was for the best. She wouldn't have to talk about it but then Wanda would know. She could speak for her if it was ever needed. And maybe then she could just put it all behind her. Maybe.</p>
<p>She nodded slowly before closing her eyes. She didn't want to see their eyes. Their reaction. She didn't want to see their reaction when she was forced to live through it again.</p>
<p>She felt Wanda's hand on her shoulder. She gave her one small smile before red light exploded in her eyes and she felt her own body fall backward.</p>
<p>
  <em>She was struggling to understand what was happening in front of her. She could clearly see they were back at the farm. It was the morning where she had found Natasha phasing. They were outside walking. She could feel herself moving and holding around Nate as she walked beside Natasha. But even if she was there in her own body it felt so far. So distant.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She watched Natasha walk up in front of her again. Her eyes seemed so scared. So worried.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"You trust me, right?"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Natasha's voice was like an echo. She could see her lips move and her voice was there, but it was so far. She could hear herself struggling to answer before Natasha whipped around pointing the gun around. This time Laura got a real look on her scared face. As if her emotions were standing out, even more, she could see the whole woman tens up in fright. Her eyes screaming in a language that said fear, fright, worry.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She felt herself getting pulled after the redhead again. With a strong grip, the redhead grabbed her forcing her back to the house. But this time Laura could see it. She felt it. As if the second her hand touched her skin, she felt all the emotions in the redhead flow over to her.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She was never angry like Laura had thought it looked like. No, it was no anger in the redhead. It was only fear.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Laura felt her head slightly spin when she felt another fast transition from outside and to inside her kitchen. As if somebody had just thrown her into the kitchen from outside through the walls.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She was watching Natasha and Clint's standoff. Laura felt the fear down her spine again as the two stared at each other. And for just one second, she watched Natasha's eyes move back looking at her. She was aware the redhead had looked at her originally. But this time she saw it. She felt it. Pain flashed over the redhead's eyes and Laura felt the fear right in her heart making her struggle to even keep her own eyes open.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She only felt fear as she screamed at them to stop.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She watched Natasha for the second time jump after her. The second Natasha laid her hand on her shoulder to grab her, pain-filled her heart. It was like she practically could hear the redhead screaming in her head.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Laura wanted to scream. To cry. To tear her hair out as she felt pain and panic in her chest mixed with Natasha's cold emotionless voice as she continued to hold the knife close to Laura.</em>
</p>
<p>The second Wanda let go Laura let out a loud cough as she felt her stomach threaten her to turn on her. She could feel tears streaming down her face. Tears she wasn't aware was there in the first place.</p>
<p>She could feel the room spinning as she opened her eyes, slowly lifting her hand to her forehead trying to make out the room around her. Immediately her eyes fell on Wanda's red eyes. The glow was slowly dying down, but she could clearly see the red fire still burning in what was supposed to be Wanda's green eyes.</p>
<p>"What just happened?" It was Steve's voice. Laura had almost forgotten where she was. She turned around to look and everyone in the room. Everyone had the same concerned look in their eyes as they watched Laura and Wanda try to collect themselves. She could feel Clint's arm on her shoulder, but she didn't want to look at him now. It was like a kind of guild was still hanging over her and she just couldn't look into his eyes right now.</p>
<p>Instead, Laura turned her attention back to the teen in front of her. Wanda was looking down at her hands with two pain-filled eyes.</p>
<p>"I… she is hurting," Wanda whispered. Her eyes were filled with pain of her own, and Laura's heart was starting to ache as she watched the teen look down at her lap with tears in her eyes.</p>
<p>"Wanda, I need you to use words we can understand, we still don't know what happened," Tony spoke up. His tone was disapproving as if he was talking to a dumb child.</p>
<p>"She wasn't angry Clint. She wasn't threatening you because she wanted to hurt you. She is scared. <em>She</em> is hurting. She feels threatened." The last part was only a whisper. Laura could only look at the other woman who was at this point so low as if she wasn't sure what to do with herself.</p>
<p>"How do you know. You weren't there!" Clint snapped back. Laura had a feeling he wasn't trying to be so harsh. But it was a lot to take in. Laura was still not sure what to think. But she felt it too. How Natasha was only screaming in pain and fear the whole time.</p>
<p>"I… don't know. I just felt it." Wanda looked up at him. Laura could see both Steve and Maria's eyes softened as they saw Wanda's own hurt eyes.</p>
<p>Maria let out a heavy sigh before saying. "We need to find out what she wanted." The whole room stayed silent just watching the other woman.</p>
<p>"I'll take the quinjet and a few of the former spies. I'll leave immediately. Maybe we can catch her." The woman looked around in the room to see if anyone gave any protests. Nobody seemed to want to say anything back to the woman. But before Maria had the chance to leave the room Tony let out a big sight.</p>
<p>"This isn't like her," Tony said massaging the side of his head making Maria look at him with a skeptical look.</p>
<p>"I mean yes, but that isn't wha-" Maria tried before getting cut off.</p>
<p>"APPP, I wasn't done," Tony said cutting her off with a finger. "She might be a former spy and agent for all kinds of crazy people. But is it one thing she would never do, is it, to hurt you two." Tony turned to look at Laura and Clint. "and maybe you to" Tony added nodding at Pepper who straightened up a bit.</p>
<p>"My point is!" Tony raised his voice to see if everyone was still listening.</p>
<p>"This isn't like her. She would never plan anything involving scaring her family. Or hurting Laura! I don't need to be in her head, like the little witch her, to know Laura got <em>scared </em>when Natasha points a knife at her ready to kill her. And we all know Natasha would never do that, okay." Tony pushed his chair away from the table standing up looking at all of them.</p>
<p>"She might be a scary spy. But she…" Tony let out another sight before slamming his hand on the table making everyone jump.</p>
<p>"SHE IS WORKING FOR SOMEBODY OKAY"</p>
<p>Laura just stared at him. Her head felt like it was exploding as Tony was continuing to feed them information.</p>
<p>"She was scared. She is scared. And what is the first thing that dumb woman does when she feels threatened? She makes sure everyone else is safe. I know it's hard to believe this enhanced 19-year-old. But this woman has already messed with all of our feelings before, and no offense to you Wanda, but is really fucking good reading our feeling. We just have to trust her on this one. It is the only thing that makes sense." Tony continued to look at them as he spoke.</p>
<p>"She has to be working for someone. We are talking about the world's most faired woman in the world. You don't see her scared every day" Everyone continued to just look at him before Maria let out a sigh.</p>
<p>"I'm going after her. Maybe I can…"</p>
<p>"YOU WON'T FIND HER THERE SHE WILL BE LONG GONE!"</p>
<p>"I NEED TO TRY!"</p>
<p>Maria and Tony just stared at each other before Tony mumbled. "We need to go now." He looked at all of them before turning around.</p>
<p>"Everyone else stays here. Steve. Help them fix up their rooms. Maria suit up. Something tells me we aren't only going on a farm vacation."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Already on chapter 9. That's crazy. Like I have so much planned. This might turn into like 200k or something because we have only covered like two months of like years.</p><p>Anyways. Lots of happening. Time jumps in this chapter and defo a lot of them in the future chapters as well. Maybe a few more time jumps now the next chapters. Usually, I don't cover everything like I've done in the past chapter. But like I kinda needed to give a serious backstory.</p><p>I will also explain a bit more at the end of this chapter about everything happening in this chapter so remember to read that if you want some more explanation of why I did all of this.</p><p>But anyways. Hope you all are having a great week and I'll talk to you in a couple of days.</p><p>Red/S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Laura was sitting by the big panorama window, curled up in a chair with a blanket wrapped around her. She could see the sun peaking over the horizon.</p><p>She hadn't gotten any sleep. She had tried. Of course, she had tried. But all she heard was Natasha's cold voice mixed with the pained screams Wanda had shown her. And every time she closed her eyes all she could see was Natasha's eyes. Filled with pain and fear.</p><p>They had ended the meeting around three in the morning. Now it was around 6. Everyone else had turned to their bedroom. Including Clint. She had followed him but ended up leaving again when she hadn't been able to stay in bed for more than 15 minutes.</p><p>Laura let out a small sniff as she felt a tear stream down her cheek. She didn't know she had any of them left in her.</p><p>"I don't think I need to ask. I have a feeling we are both thinking about the same thing." Laura turned her head when she heard Pepper's soft voice. Pepper gave her a small smile before pointing at the chair opposing to Laura's. She only nodded back at the woman and watched as Pepper took a seat, trying to wipe the tears off her face in the process.</p><p>She too looked tired. Laura wasn't surprised. It had to be a shock on her as well. She hadn't seen her girlfriend in weeks. And when she finally got any kind of update, they were all awful. How she had turned on them. How she had threatened them. Everything <em>but</em> what Natasha really was. Kind. Caring. Loving.</p><p>"I feel like I should have seen it coming. That I should have stopped it." Laura said looking at the other woman with hurt eyes.</p><p>"Laura. Don't say that. You were helping her in every way you could. She was hurt. And… she needed you. We don't know why this happened. But if Tony is right and she is working under somebody. Then we need to just trust her that this was the only way out. She would never hurt you or your family." Pepper looked at her with a serious look. Laura only nodded looking down at her hands.</p><p>This was the first time she had actually talked to Pepper in person. She had spoken to her multiple times before on phone, but never in person like this, and it felt so unreal in a way. The other woman was like the CEO of the world. She was such a powerhouse.</p><p>Laura was well aware of how respected she was in the world. How she had everyone just hanging on every word she was saying. No matter what topic everyone would automatically turn to her and Laura and never experienced such high mutual respect for anyone. Sure, Natasha was also a very well-respected woman in the world, but she was as respected as she was feared.</p><p>The two of them together had to be an incredible sight. Not that Laura had had the opportunity to live through that yet.</p><p>They sat in silence for a few minutes. Laura didn't know how to keep a conversation going when all she felt was sadness. Usually, she was good at small talk, but right now she didn't know what to do with herself. It was so much to take in. And while she wanted to talk to Pepper, she didn't know how. Both of them were so close to Natasha, but Natasha had acted so weirdly. And Laura hadn't even been able to explain what had happened earlier.</p><p>She was debating on either to try to get some rest or maybe force the conversation. She didn't want to try to start it again, but she also didn't want to sit here in silence much longer. Thankfully she didn't need to be the one leading the talk.</p><p>"Have you seen Nat's room?" Pepper said softly looking at the other woman with a small smile. Laura looked at her surprised, shaking her head no.</p><p>Pepper stood up before waving her over with a small smile. Laura followed her quietly. She didn't know why she followed really. Did she want to see her room? Was it any need really? Maybe she just wanted to follow to stay around Pepper? Whatever the reason was she decided not to fight it.</p><p>She was looking around as they walked. The building was so fascinating. The light in the hallways was dimmed reflecting the actual lights outside, giving you a soft and natural environment. It was actually really nice. She had noticed how the light had been in a colder dark blue earlier the same night. Now it was shining in a warmer glow. It was so nice and soft on the eyes. A really smart idea and concept all in all.</p><p>They stopped in front of a door and Pepper smiled softly at her. It looked like every other door in the house really. Laura watched as she put her hand on the handle and as she did so, Laura heard a click on the door. She gave Pepper a small questioning look.</p><p>"Fingerprint sensor to keep it locked when Nat isn't home." Pepper explained softly before pulling the handle down pushing the door open softly.</p><p>She wasn't really sure what she expected. It was a bedroom right surely it wasn't that interesting.</p><p>As Laura took her first step into the room the light started to slowly turn on. "wow" she let out as she entered the room, looking around as she tried to get a grasp of the incredible room.</p><p>It was bigger than expected. The bed was about 15 feet away from the door and already the centre of attention. The bed area on a small platform giving it some height from the rest of the room. A beautiful dark wooden bed in front of an incredibly beautiful back wall. Brown plates with two wall high mirrors on each side of the bed behind two extremely fancy-looking nightstands.</p><p>In front of the bed was a small bench with some soft velvet cushion on top. Only that in itself seemed more expensive than Laura's whole bedroom.</p><p>"She went all out," Pepper said with a soft smile before walking over to the bed picking up a small remote.</p><p>Laura couldn't help it when she let out another "oh my god" as Pepper undimmed the window. She hadn't even noticed the huge window to her left that opened itself like magic.</p><p>She watched as the room slowly got filled with some soft morning light giving it a beautiful idyllic atmosphere. She walked to the window letting out her rest on the glass. It was stunning. In the corner of the big window was the record player Laura had given her a few years back. Part of her was surprised she had actually kept it when they moved.</p><p>She turned around to look at the rest of the room. She had a beautiful closet on the same wall as the door. And a desk on the opposing side of the bed.</p><p>"Bathroom?" Laura nodded at the second door. Pepper was sitting on the bed with her legs crossed.</p><p>"Something like that," Pepper said with a small smile. Laura gave her a confused look before pushing the door open. Again, she let her mouth fall as she revealed a stunning black and white bathroom. It wasn't that big, but every single detail, every little thing, was the perfect combination of modern and clean. From the big white tiles to the black stand-alone wall that separated the walk-in shower and bathtub.</p><p>"Yeah, it's nice, even from Starks standard. Pepper said with a small laugh as she followed her into the bathroom.</p><p>"I didn't know she spent so much time on this place," Laura said turning around to face Pepper.</p><p>"Yeah, it surprised me too when she said she wanted to design her own room. But I mean all of the Avengers got the chance if they wanted to. But most of them left it mostly up to our team." Pepper said closing the bathroom door behind them as they exited.</p><p>"You did an amazing job designing this place. Like you did with the tower." Laura said with a small smile. She remembered being very impressed with the tower as well. And she knew Pepper had been the one designing most of that. The other woman smiled back at her.</p><p>"Thank you. We tried. We still have a few rooms free, and a couple more to finish up, but it is starting to look like something at least." Pepper said with a soft smile. Laura nodded as she continued to look around in the room.</p><p>It was so clean and beautiful. And while it was a very pretty room, she realized it had no pictures or anything personal anywhere. She had a few paintings and small decoration items but nothing else. And none of them seemed…. Very Natasha like. Unless you categorize her as modern abstract art.</p><p>"No pictures?" Laura pointed out letting her hand glide over Natasha's desk carefully.</p><p>Pepper let out a small laugh before shaking her head. "No. Told me it was too easy to identify her room with things like that. She has a few stored away. But I don't know where. Think they are more as keepsake and memories than to show off" Pepper said rolling her eyes softly making Laura laugh. Why was she not surprised?</p><p>"Do you want some breakfast maybe? I know it's still fairly early, but you must be starving." Pepper said looking at her with two kind eyes.</p><p>For some reason, Laura felt extremely drawn to this woman. It was something in her voice that was both so powerful but also so kind. No wonder why she was such an incredible CEO.</p><p>"Yeah, wouldn't complain about some food no," Laura said with a small smile nodding.</p><p>Pepper lead her out of the room and down the hallway again. This time they walked another way to the kitchen. Taking another staircase that didn't lead through the living room. Instead, it was like they walked up and around ending up entering the kitchen from a completely different angle than last time</p><p>Laura didn't know how to act as she watched Pepper start to prepare some breakfast for her. She could only sit down and watch the other woman walk around. It felt weird being on this side waiting to get served and not being the one serving for once.</p><p>"Coffee or tea?" Pepper said with a soft smile. Laura wanted coffee but she had bought one last night as they were driving so better keep the caffeine intake low.</p><p>"Tea would be very nice," Laura said smiling back. Pepper nodded before finding a mug. Laura watched as she flicked a thing on the tap of the sink and before she knew it boiling water was pouring. Laura lifted an eyebrow as Pepper filled the mug with hot water. This house, this life, was such another category than her own life.</p><p>"Thank you," Laura said accepting the mug with a smile before going over the tea selection Pepper had put in front of her.</p><p>The rest of the morning with Pepper continued to be lovely. They talked through most of it. About everything under the sun really. And it was so nice just to focus on anything but what happened last night.</p><p>Steve was the second one to join them. Laura could tell he came straight from the shower, maybe he had been working out before?</p><p>Only minutes late Rhodey entered the room followed by Clint with Nate in his arms and the two elder kids trailing after. Then was Wanda and last, of the bunch, was Sam followed by another... Person?</p><p>Clint had talked about Vision before, but it was still something about seeing a purple-red android human-like… thing walking into the room. He was dressed like a person, but he was also purple.</p><p>But he was polite when talking, and Laura couldn't really do anything other than accept the fact the Avengers was a mix of all kinds of creations.</p><p>As their morning continued, they all tried to keep the mood as positive as possible. Nobody mentioned what happened at all. Ignoring the topic as much as possible.</p><p>Laura and Clint introduced the remaining Avengers to the kids, and because they were there, asking everyone about everything, it was surprisingly easy to stay away from the more serious topics.</p><p>Still, as the day continued to go on Laura felt her own stress increasing. Sooner or later Maria would come back with Tony. With or without Natasha.</p><p>But when they passed dinner time and the two hadn't shown up Laura decided to try to accept the fact that maybe they wouldn't get answers today.</p><p>They had, with the agreement of Pepper, decided to move into two bedrooms instead of sharing one. Pepper had been so kind giving them the next-door room as well so Clint and her could share one room with Nate and then Cooper and Lila could share one together. That way the two of them had some privacy if needed and Nate didn't have to share a room with his two other siblings when he was sleeping.</p><p>Laura was very thankful for what the avenges had already done for them. They barely knew her and her family but still, they welcomed them with open arms.</p><p>"Mommy. When can we go home?" Cooper said with big eyes as Laura was tucking him to bed. She could see Lila trying to sit up in her bed as well when he asked. Clint pushed her softly down shaking his head.</p><p>"We don't know, love. Maria will tell us later okay. But we might stay for a while. Don't you like hanging out with the Avengers?" Laura said softly after kissing the boy on his head. She tried to keep as calm as possible but she could feel her own voice shake ever so slightly. The kids didn't know much about the situation. And while she knew she had to tell them at one point, she didn't want to say anything before they had some more information.</p><p>"Mhm yes… I was just wondering." Copper answered with a small yawn.</p><p>"That's okay, baby. We will tell you when we know." Laura said softly before straightening up.</p><p>Clint and Laura exited the together before heading back to the living room. The two of them had barely talked throughout the day. But Laura wasn't sure what to even say to Clint. What had happened with Natasha was still hard to process. And she knew the views on the event was very different between the two of them. She had seen the version Wanda had shown her. While Clint had only seen his own version with Natasha attacking him. And while Laura knew he didn't want to be angry at her all the time, the relationship between the two was already a bit strained even before all of this.</p><p>The rest of the Avengers, plus Pepper, were all sitting in the living room talking softly. They all smiled when Clint and Laura entered. Laura took a seat beside Wanda and the girl smiled at her kindly.</p><p>"Maria called when you two were out," Pepper said. Her voice was calm and collected and Laura was very happy she at least tried to keep it as casual as possible even when she knew both Clint and Laura would tens up when she let the sentence roll of her tongue.</p><p>"And what did she say?" Clint said looking at Laura with a small tense look.</p><p>"She is coming back." Pepper answered giving Laura a small smile. "Tony is going after something else. She didn't say what. She will be here any minute." Pepper continued still keeping her voice surprisingly calm as she spoke. Laura could only nod hoping Maria was bringing good news.</p><p>They continued to wait for another hour. And the more time that went the more tense everyone became. They continued to try to talk, but it was no hiding how everyone was starting to get somewhat nervous about the whole situation.</p><p>When the door finally opened every single one of them turned their head only to welcome a very tired Maria Hill. The woman had dark circles under her eyes and her body language was low as she walked over the floor. Nobody said anything, they only watched her walk. She looked at them with a tired look before shaking her head.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Clint, Laura," Maria said looking between them. Laura felt her stomach clench as she watched the woman look between them.</p><p>"She wasn't there, was she," Clint said looking at her with a both sad and angry look in his eyes. Maria shook her head softly before saying.</p><p>"That's not all. She didn't leave anything behind."</p><p>Laura almost screamed as she watched Maria pull up a hologram. The lot. Her house. It was all gone. Burned to the ground. With nothing but dust left from it.</p><p>"No. No Maria what the fuck is this. Tell me this isn't real!" Laura watched as Clint stood up from his seat walking threatening towards the woman before Steve stopped him in his path.</p><p>"Clint, I'm sorry, this is what we arrived to. No trace of Natasha. We had one trail. It's the one Tony is going after now, but." She paused and took a deep breath. "We don't expect much."</p><p>Laura didn't even know how to react. It was nothing left. Only ashes around the whole lot. Both the house and the barn were completely done. Nothing left.</p><p>"How?" Laura only whispered as she watched a video play. She watched as Tony filmed from his suit as he flew around the ruins. Maria poking on the ground.</p><p>"Hard to tell. A mix between explosives and really intense fires." Maria answered in a low voice. "We don't know how they did it. Or how they did it without nobody noticing. All we know is that she could never have done it alone." She continued.</p><p>Laura only nodded back as she continued to watch the video. I continued watching pictures of their destroyed lot.</p><p>"But now we know that Stark was probably right," Maria mumbled. Laura turned to her and looked at her with a small look.</p><p>"She probably is working under someone. And her going after you two, attacking Clint, it was a warning and not a threat."</p>
<hr/><p>Laura watched as Clint played with the kids on the living room floor. They were rolling around laughing happily. Laura could do nothing but smiled as she nursed Nate while watching them all play.</p><p>They had been here for just over a month now. It had been five weeks a lot of ups and downs. They had to tell the kids they could never go home. They had to tell the kids that they wouldn't see their friends in a while. And when they asked any question, even the simplest once, all Laura and Clint could do was to tell them they didn't know. They had no information to go after. Nothing.</p><p>Laura could feel her own mental health crumble for every day that passed. She didn't know what to think. What to do.</p><p>Pepper was the only reason Laura was partly functioning. The woman had helped them making their rooms in the facilities feel a bit more like home. And she had offered to help in any way she could. Sometimes she even took Nate from her letting her take a breather on her own.</p><p>It had happened more than once that Pepper had taken Nate out of her arms and Laura had just ended up falling asleep on the couch because she had nothing left in her.</p><p>Maria too was helping between her running in and out looking for Natasha. The Avengers had started prioritizing finding the redhead now. But they had close to nothing to go after. The redhead and the others that had burned down the house had left no trace.</p><p>Laura knew they wouldn't get answers any time soon. She knew she had to accept the defeat. They had lost everything in that fire. Or what they presumed was a fire. It was nothing left. No furniture, no clothes. No nothing. All they had from home was clothes they had left in and the one diaper bag.</p><p>They had tried to do the best out of it. They had went shopping. Pepper had joined them for some company, and it had been a lovely trip. Really it had. But when Happy too had joined them just as a bodyguard and Steve had been hesitant to let them go just for the risk of any dangerous situation Laura could feel herself struggling to really enjoy the trip to the fullest. She hadn't been in New York in ages, but she just couldn't enjoy it when all they were doing here was trying to hide from any potential danger.</p><p>It was still early in the morning, but the Avengers were mostly morning people. She had learned fast that Steve liked to work out in the morning. Either running or going to the gym in the facility. Sam was a fifty, fifty kind of guy who either joined Steve in the morning or took a session later in the afternoon. Rhodey was more back and forth. He was the closest contact between the Avengers and other higher authorities. She didn't really know what he was doing right now but that wasn't really information she needed either.</p><p>Wanda continued to keep close with the Barton family which Laura appreciated very much.</p><p>They didn't have any training or public appearances. Mostly what they were doing was researching Natasha. And if anyone went out it was mostly Tony or Steve with Maria.</p><p>Her thought train was interrupted when Maria walked into the room with Pepper and Steve behind her. Both Laura and Clint lifted their heads looking at them as they entered the room. They all had a concerned, but happy look in their eyes.</p><p>"Is it okay if Steve watches the big kids for a bit, we need to you two," Pepper said with a soft voice. Laura turned to Clint and he nodded softly. He stood up from the floor. And they watched as Lila and Cooper looked at their father with a questioning look. Still, none of them asked only smiling a Steve.</p><p>Laura knew they loved Steve, and he was surprisingly good with kids, so she didn't mind. She just was confused about what Maria and Pepper wanted.</p><p>They followed the two women into a meeting room. They both looked at them with an almost mischievous look.</p><p>"We have something to show you. Something that might be in your interest." Maria said with a small smile. "It was Pepper who found it." Laura watched as Maria pressed a button on her phone and the monitor on the table turned on.</p><p>"What is this?" Laura said turning to Pepper with a confused look. Pepper smiled softly back before saying.</p><p>"Your new home, if you want it." Laura turned back to the screen before falling down on the chair grabbing the mouse to her right. She could feel Clint lean over her shoulder as she started to click through all the pictures.</p><p>It was a lovely white house. Surrounded by fields and trees.</p><p>Laura turned to Clint looking at him with big eyes.</p><p>"It's in Missouri as well, just an hour away from your old house. A safe distance, but still not too far." Maria said with a small smile. Laura could only nod. Still completely lost.</p><p>"It's no price here. How do you know it is available?" Clint said eventually. Even he sounded a bit in unbelief. It seemed too good to be true. It was exactly what Laura would have looked after if she was to look for a new house. But they had both agreed not to start the hunt yet. She wasn't sure if she was ready too.</p><p>"I have already bought it." Laura felt her whole mouth drop looking at Pepper. She turned back to the ad before turning to Pepper.</p><p>"It's a beautiful 5 bedroom. It has a garage with a second-story space for a sixth bedroom or maybe just for storage. It also has an old barn-like your hold home with acres of fields and open areas." Pepper said softly before leaning over to take the mouse from Laura before scrolling through the pictures with them.</p><p>"It is a renovation project, and I would love to get started on it if you allow me to. Some of the walls are very old and need to be switched out. And of course, the whole house is empty for all furniture so we will need to look into that as well. It won't be ready to move into before maybe early summer, mid-spring, since the old owners are still cleaning out the place. I'll get the keys in 7 weeks." Pepper said softly. After she finished her pitch, she turned to Laura again looking at her kindly.</p><p>"Pepper. This is thousands of dollars. I don't know if..." Laura started looking at Clint to see if he was on the same page as her.</p><p>"I want to gift it to you." This time Laura gave absolutely no effort in trying to keep somewhat calm and hold her composure.</p><p>"Pepper we can't accept that. It's way too much money" It was Clint who stopped her. Laura could feel him shake his head behind her. She had to agree. A whole house. And not just a house, a renovation project. This was a lot of money. A house around that area could easily go for over 150 thousand dollars. Not to talk about how this lot in itself was already big.</p><p>"Please let me give it to you. I have already the house in my name. It will only be some simple paperwork and the house will be yours." Pepper looked at them both with a serious look before adding.</p><p>"I know this is what Natasha would want."</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So, I am sure everyone is like "Red, why the hell did you blow up their house". And the very simple explanation of that is. They don't have the same house in endgame like they had in age of Ultron. And I know they just didn't film the same place and like I am sure we can pretend it is the same thing. But it's not. So, I, being the smart ass I am, decided to actually integrate that in the story. So yeah, new house. You are welcome.</p><p>Other than that, if you're still confused about what is going on, we are currently at the start of 2016 aka the start of when civil war would take place. But this is very clearly not civil war because I didn't want to include civil war. It's not more complicated than that really. I love CW but I kinda want my team together in this fanfic and not tearing each other down. Got it? Got it!</p><p>Red/S-B, again.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a cute small chapter, I think. I like it. Don't have much to say really.</p><p>Make it a great week and I'll hopefully figure out this chapter and talk to you soon.</p><p>Red/S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The sun was already shining through the window when Laura woke up. Apparently, Clint had let her sleep in. The sun was surprisingly high already and it seemed to be a nice February day at least.</p><p>She was happy he had let her sleep. Last night she and Pepper had stayed up way too long to look at different furniture for their new home. He was well aware she had stayed up not only to look at interior design. She had mostly done it just to talk and hang out with Pepper. After two months of living more or less under the same roof, they had grown very close.</p><p>Pepper was so nice. She was kind and caring, but also such a smart and strong woman. She knew a lot of things of most things and she continued to aw Laura more every day.</p><p>The woman was of course working a lot of the time. Traveling into New York city most days, and sometimes even to California, but when she wasn't there, Pepper spent a lot of time just with the avengers.</p><p>Laura liked all of the Avengers a lot. All of them were so nice to them, with fun unique personalities to brighten their days. They helped them if they needed it. And were all in all just good friends. And the kids <em>adored</em> them all.</p><p>They usually ate all together at least one time a week, but even on random days at least one of them usually ended up eating with them. Even between training and missions they all took the time to say hi or play with the kids. No wonder why Natasha loved living here. They really were like one big family.</p><p>Laura let out a loud sigh stretching her arms over her head. It was just past 9 and for the first time in weeks she really felt rested. She spent some time just on her phone looking through some emails and messages before getting out of bed.</p><p>She looked through the drawer wondering if she was planning on going outside today and if she should dress warmer if she did. At one point they needed to go shopping again. She had of course some clothes, but it wasn't much since most of them got left behind when they lost their house. At one point they all needed to upgrade their wardrobe a bit, especially now that it was getting warmer already, even if it was only mid-February.</p><p>It was Pepper's birthday today. She knew the woman was working, but she was planning on baking a cake at one point today. She had already gotten the ingredients for the cake. She was thinking of making an apple cake. It was Natasha's favourite. It was also very people friendly. You can't go wrong with that. Some whipped cream and powdered sugar on top. She was looking forward to it already.</p><p>Already when she walked out of the room, she could hear people talking in the hallways. She had learned that this part of the facility was only for the Avengers and their living quarters. Closed for everyone else that worked here. And there were a lot of people working here.</p><p>The living quarters had a lot of rooms. Like a gym, a pool, a shooting range, multiple rooms for meetings. Offices for everyone that wanted one. Lots of storage. A library. Multiple small living room areas. It was a lovely space, and she was so thankful they let her be a part of it.</p><p>She found the kids with Clint in front of them with some kind of chart. They had started to homeschool them a bit. They were obviously not enrolled in a school anymore since they weren't home. And they didn't want to take the risk of putting them into a new public school right now. Hopefully, the local school by their new home had space for their kids next summer.</p><p>Laura and Clint had no idea how to homeschool, but they tried their best. Laura had found a few programs online, as well as gotten some help from Annie, who was a former teacher as well. And of course, all of the Avengers were like experts in all kinds of fields, so they were actually helping as well.</p><p>"Friday, could you turn on the oven for me please?" Laura said with a small smile as she picked up Nate from the floor to hug him.</p><p>"What temperature do you need, Laura." She answered and Laura smiled.</p><p>"350 is good. Thank you." Laura replied casually.</p><p>"It is on."</p><p>She loved Friday. They might need something like this in their new home. She was getting spoiled. An AI doing things for her. What a life she was living.</p><p>She let Nate get back to playing on the floor while Clint continued to teach. She knew she had plenty of time until Pepper would be back, but she kinda wanted to do something, really anything. Because while the kids were with their dad, she usually turned bored very fast. She didn't know why, but for some reason, she felt like she had gotten so much free time since when they moved to the Avengers compared to when they lived at their old home.</p><p>Laura ended up making two cakes instead of one. One apple cake and one chocolate cake. The whole common room was smelling like a bakery when she was done. Filling the room with a mix of both chocolate and apple cake.</p><p>"Wow, it smells delicious in here." Laura turned her head when she heard Steve enter the room. Behind him was Tony. In their hands they had bags and Laura could already smell the Asian food from the bags.</p><p>"Pepper better be happy now; we ordered the whole menu. Chinese, Tai, Indian. Everything." Tony said with a loud groan as he put the bags on the table.</p><p>Laura let out a small laugh before turning her head back to the chocolate cake she was frosting. She wasn't really a frosting kind of person, but she thought Pepper deserved some rosettes regardless.</p><p>"I am sure she will. Does any of you know when she will be back?" Laura said still trying to concentrate on the last rosette.</p><p>"She texted me saying around 15 minutes," Tony said as he started to unpack everything.</p><p>Soon they were joined by the other avengers. And precisely 15 minutes later Pepper walked in the door with Maria and Happy behind her.</p><p>Seeing Pepper smiling so widely when she entered to a full dinner table alone made it all worth it Laura decided. And she hadn't even presented the cakes to her yet. It was something about watching this woman being so thankful that just made her so happy. She knew how much Pepper did for the team already. And she had done so much for just her and her family too. Things she would be forever grateful for.</p><p>The whole evening turned out nice. Pepper was so happy about all of the cakes and the gifts she received. And Laura knew this was something the team needed. Just a break. Taking a breather from the stress that was their life at the moment.</p><p>The adults ended up sharing thee bottles of wine and some beer after the kids went to bed. Or everyone except vison of course. But was he really an <em>adult </em>when he wasn't <em>human?</em></p><p>Wanda was technically not old enough to drink in America, but the Avengers didn't seem to care as Tony offered her a glass of red wine. But even though they didn't care, Laura still felt her mom heart calm down when she kindly declined the glass.</p><p>They ended up just talking the whole evening. Sitting in the living room keeping the nice atmosphere they had had the whole day. They didn't get interrupted before Friday decided to cut Maria off mid-sentence.</p><p>"It is somebody by the front gate. It is a delivery car from FedEx."</p><p>Laura's reaction was to turn to Tony with a confused look. She was not alone. Everyone looked at him confused. It was 9 in the evening what were they doing here so late. In the daytime, the gate was usually open because they had staff all around to let them in. This seemed. Odd.</p><p>"Let them in. I'll meet them personally. Rogers. Want to bring that shield of yours?" Tony said turning to him with a small look.</p><p>"Meet you downstairs," Steve said nodding before standing up looking back at him with a serious look.</p><p>They all watched them leave the room. It was no hiding how it felt very strange getting a delivery so late, but they couldn't really do anything about it other than hoping it would turn out okay.</p><p>"Friday, turn the monitoring on," Maria said when they passed the two minutes mark. A second later a big hologram popped up. Steve and Tony were standing talking with the guy in the car. They both had a serious look on their face as they listened to the man talking.</p><p>He looked like every other delivery man really. Nothing seemed off just based on looks. But Laura could see in Steve's eyes that something was up. Something that upset him.</p><p>Laura lifted an eyebrow when Tony nodded at the guy before handing him, money? She turned to Clint to see if he was seeing the same thing. He too looked confused as the two men walked inside again, and the car drove off.</p><p>"So that was, interesting," Rhodey said as the hologram disappeared looking at the rest of them. At the same time, Tony and Steve walked into the room again. Steve closed the door behind them before putting his shield by the door nodding at them. He seemed calmer now. Still serious but not as upset.</p><p>"Vision go after him to make sure that car actually leaves," Tony said turning to his creation. Laura watched as he nodded before flying out through the wall and disappearing.</p><p>"So other than flirting with the delivery man, what happened," Sam said leaning back in his chair before taking a drink out of his beer, making Maria let out a huff.</p><p>"Wouldn't call it flirting. He wasn't cute enough for that." Tony said before dropping a box in front of Pepper with a thud. It wasn't very big. If anything, Laura would call it small. It was just a normal cardboard box.</p><p>"What is this?" Pepper said looking at the box as if it was going to kill her.</p><p>"A birthday present," Tony replied dryly. Pepper lifted an eyebrow at him. "Not from me," Tony said rolling his eyes before taking a seat again.</p><p>Pepper only looked at him before lowly tearing off the tape and opening the cardboard box. Inside was a small velvet black earring box. Pepper turned around in the room to look at them confused, but when nobody said anything or claimed the gift as theirs, she only slowly opened the box.</p><p>"Oh my god" she whispered as she revealed a pair of red stone earrings. Pepper turned to the group again looking at them with big eyes before lifting out the small box and started looking around in the box of silk paper and bubble wrap.</p><p>"Those aren't real. Surely that isn't actually real stones." Tony said grabbing the box looking at them. "Friday?" Tony said as he continued to look at the earring closely.</p><p>"They appear to be real rubies, boss." The woman's voice replied.</p><p>"Jesus Christ." Tony only mumbled. As he put the box down pushing it over to Rhodey.</p><p>"Here," Pepper said as she finally seemed to find what she was looking for. It was a small card from the brand they came from. On the back, Laura could clearly see it.</p><p>
  <em>Red</em>
</p><p>Laura knew that handwriting very well. And she could tell Pepper recognized it as well. Her eyes were wide before turning to Tony.</p><p>"You knew?" She asked holding the card close to her chest.</p><p>"Not really. Had a feeling. The delivery guy was suspicious. Gave us almost no intel other than she gave it to him personally somewhere in New York City. Hence why it's no actual shipping label on the box." Tony said pointing at the box. Laura hadn't even noticed the naked box before he pointed it out. But he was right, it wasn't any labels on it anywhere.</p><p>"She is in New York?" Pepper whispered looking down at the card in her hand.</p><p>"Something like that. We don't know. The guy didn't say much." Tony said with a sigh. "And knowing her, she might have traveled to the other side of the planet by now." He said shrugging. Pepper looked at him before nodding slowly.</p><p>Maybe it was still hope then. Maybe they could finally catch the woman.</p><p>The rest of the weekend went to trying to locate the woman. To search every single corner of New York and using every single face recondition program in history to try to find the redhead. To try in every humanly possible way to find her. They knew she might have left the city or state already. Maybe even the country, but at least they had a chance now. At least they knew she had been here.</p><p>Laura was leaning back in her chair closing her eyes for a second. She and Pepper had been looking at one of the monitors for hours now. A face reconditions program that was going through all of the security cameras that were available. They knew Friday would alert them if they hit a target, but they had both chosen to watch it personally as well.</p><p>She let out a small yawn as she rubbed her eyes. This was the second day they had been doing this and she had been up way too late last night just to do this.</p><p>Pepper sitting on the opposing side of the table with her coffee between her hands. She too looked tired. But at least they had the company between the two of them.</p><p>"Target located."</p><p>Laura had barely had the time to shake her head and lean forwards to look at the screen closer before Maria slammed the door open. She had no idea where the woman came from, but her eyes were wide as she fell down beside Laura.</p><p>On the screen, they had a clear picture. Natasha was standing on a corner of a street leaning on a wall. What really caught Laura by surprise was her blond hair. It was quite short. Just over her shoulders in a messy beach wavy like style. It was very different from anything else she had done before and definitely different from her normal vibrant red hair.</p><p>"Is she… blond?" Pepper walked around to their side of the table leaning forwards to look at her closer.</p><p>"Friday when was this?" Maria said as she moved the cursor around to look for more clips.</p><p>"About five minutes ago. It seems like she is waiting for somebody." Friday replied. Maria looked at the screen for another minute jumping between a couple of different cameras before saying.</p><p>"I'm going after her," Maria said turning to them.</p><p>"I'm coming with."</p><p>"Then I'm coming with you."</p><p>Laura turned surprised to Pepper when she said the same thing. They both looked at Maria for a second before she smiled softly at the CEO. She watched as Pepper smiled back, but Maria did not seem as impressed with them. She looked at them with a firm look, but Laura did want to go after her too. She wanted to at least try.</p><p>"I don't think you should, I mean we don't even know where…" Maria started. She stopped quickly when Pepper gave her a strict look.</p><p>"I'm just saying we don't know what to expect." Maria tried again looking at Laura for support as if she was getting anything like that from her.</p><p>The woman looked between the two of them before rolling her eyes in defeat. "Fine" she only mumbled.</p><p>Laura ended up exchanging a few words with Clint before heading out to meet Pepper and Maria. She felt nervous for some reason. This was the first time they actually had a shot at this. What if she wasn't there when they arrived? What if she didn't want to talk with them? What if she was in danger? What if it was a trap?</p><p>Maria was standing by an SUV with Pepper waiting for her as she got outside to the garage. She slipped into the car behind Maria before they slowly pulled out of the lot and headed for the city.</p><p>The drive to Manhattan was just over two hours. Had while that really wasn't that much, they knew the chance of her already being gone when they got there was quite high.</p><p>They ended up just outside of a café in south Manhattan. She had no idea how Maria found parking in this city, but somehow, she did. The café was small. And while New York always was busy this was a quieter corner. It seemed very nice actually.</p><p>Maria jumped out of the car followed by Pepper. She nodded at Laura to go out as well. And the second she stepped out the back the seat shifted. The whole row of the three seats turned around 180 degrees turning the other way. And when Laura stepped into the car again, she could see the whole back was covered in monitors and other fancy equipment.</p><p>"Okay let's see if you're still here Nat," Maria mumbled as she entered the car again with Pepper. They watched as the screen turned on and started showing various pictures of different things. Laura had no idea what the woman was doing but she was now moving around between different cameras it seemed like.</p><p>"Is that the security cameras?" Pepper asked as Maria switched between another shot.</p><p>"Yeah, form the buildings around us," Maria answered still only looking at the screens in front of them. Pepper only nodded before turning her attention back to the screen.</p><p>"There you are." Maria finally said after switched between what felt like a hundred cameras.</p><p>Laura could feel herself tense up when two different angles of the inside of the café popped up on two screens. One of them showed Natasha sitting by a table and the other one was pointed behind the counter only giving them a view of the barista and her workspace.</p><p>Maria zoomed in slowly on Natasha before she stopped completely and leaned back to watch in silence.</p><p>Natasha was sitting in a booth in the back of the café. Beside her she had a big man squeezed up against her. On the table, she had a plate with more or less an untouched croissant and a cup of tea.</p><p>They were the only guests in the small place, and Laura had a feeling that was the reason they were there and not anywhere else.</p><p>Laura could now clearly see the woman's tired face. She had bags under her eyes and Laura could tell she was absolutely destroyed. Her hair was messy, a complete opposite of what usually was a well-brushed head of hair. She was dressed in all black with a brown plaid scarf around her neck even when she was inside.</p><p>The man beside her was big. Like really big. The kind of big that would make Laura stressed if she ever met him. He had a grin on his face as he moved around. And at this point, he was more or less on top of her.</p><p>Laura could see Natasha move uncomfortably around as the man continued to move around beside her. At one point she turned her head around and Laura's heart broke when she watched the woman bite her lips pressing herself impossible close up against the wall.</p><p>Laura turned to Maria with wide eyes. Surely, they should do something. Instead, the woman shook her head slowly. Making Laura let out a frustrated sigh.</p><p>Thankfully they got stopped when a young woman walked up to them. She watched as the barista looked at the pair at the table before she started to talk. Even when she could only see the woman's back Laura could tell the woman was flustered. She talked to them for a good 30 seconds and the whole time Natasha refused to meet her eyes. When she finished the man stood up and switched seat to the opposing side of the table.</p><p>Laura could see Natasha let out a small breath of relief as the man moved away. But she didn't have much time before the man started to talk to her and she was forced to pay attention again.</p><p>They spent a good 15 minutes watching the man speak to the redhead and not once the girl replied. She only looked at him with big tired eyes nodding a few times.</p><p>The woman seemed to only get more tired as the conversation went on. At one point the woman leaned her head on the wall and continued to only look at him before her eyes closed slowly. She had barely closed her eyes when the woman shot up from her position looking at him with wide eyes as he connected his kick with her leg.</p><p>The woman's eyes were wide as she leaned back in her seat trying to process what just had happened clearly in a huge amount of pain. Still, the man gave her no room to recover as he stood up. He was leaning over the table now clearly yelling at her. The woman only slid down in her seat trying to make herself small as he continued to scream.</p><p>Laura almost screamed herself when she watched the man grab the plate in front of Natasha before throwing it at full force at her, barely giving her a second to dodge the plate before it connected with the wall making it explode over her head making the croissant fly across the room.</p><p>Natasha's eyes widened. And while Laura knew normally, she probably would have fired back at some sort, the woman only looked at still covering her head in case he was to do with it half-empty teacup.</p><p>For the second time, the young barista jumped in. This time she seemed stressed as she looked between them. She was clearly not in any shape to actually take down that man. But he didn't seem interested in doing something like that either. He only looked at her as she was stupid, before grabbing Natasha's scarf yanking her forwards by it making the girl yelp. He looked at her mumbling something in her face before he violently pushed her away from him. Then he turned to the small barista staring at her before he finally turned around and left the room.</p><p>It was like Laura could actually see the barista lower her shoulders as the man left. The woman turned to Natasha sinking down beside the couch she was on as she spoke softly to Natasha. Natasha's eyes were filled with pain, but she only shook her head when the barista talked. Laura could see the forced smile on her lips as she slowly listened to the woman talk.</p><p>It was no hiding how she was definitely hurting, and in the corner of her eyes, Laura could see Pepper noticing it too. With pain and worry filling her own eyes as they watched the interaction.</p><p>Natasha didn't seem to give her much. Only a small smile and a few sentences. And after that the barista didn't get anything more, she could only nod at the woman before she walked back to the bar to get some cleaning supplies.</p><p>In the meantime, they watched as Natasha slowly started to collect herself. She slowly started to brush off the glass from her scarf before standing up. She looked over to the bar before slowly taking something out of her pocket putting it on the table before she slowly left the café.</p><p>Laura turned to Maria and Pepper for a second time when Natasha left. They were both looking blankly at the screen clearly both lost for words.</p><p>"What just happened?" Pepper eventually said with a low voice. Maria continued to look at nothing for a while before she slowly said.</p><p>"I think we should ask." She pushed the car door open exciting slowly looking around carefully. After a moment she stepped out of the way letting the two of them step out.</p><p>The first thing Laura did was to try and spot Natasha. Of course, she was nowhere in sight. She wasn't surprised by this, but part of her wished she was.</p><p>Laura ended up just following Maria into the café not thinking about how they were supposed to get any information like this.</p><p>The café was even smaller in real life. The barista was behind the counter and lifted her head when she watched them enter. Her eyes were wide and almost worried. But she still gave them a small smile before walking over to them.</p><p>"Hi. Welcome. So sorry for the mess. If you need anything, please don't hesitate to ask I just need to clean up everything." The woman said with a happy voice. It was very clearly forced but none of them commented on it. They could see the booth Natasha had been at behind the woman. It was shattered glass everywhere and Laura felt really bad for the young woman.</p><p>"We are working for the Avengers and were wondering if you could tell us anything about the woman and the man that was just here," Maria said softly. Her voice was kind and calm as she pulled out some sort of badge. The woman didn't even look at the badge in front of her. Instead, her eyes only widened as she eyes the three of them. She looked between all of them before she landed on Pepper</p><p>"You are Pepper Potts." She whispered looking at Pepper with big eyes.</p><p>"Yes, I am. Could you be so kind and tell us what they were talking about." Pepper answered softly as she spoke to the younger woman.</p><p>"I don't know what they talked about. They didn't speak English. I think maybe Russian or something else eastern European." The woman stuttered looking at them confused. Laura felt bad for her. She really did. She seemed so confused and scared. She needed to talk her down.</p><p>"That's okay." This time it was Laura who spoke up. She could already tell this woman was very stressed and they didn't need to make it worse now.</p><p>"We don't want to harm you. We just need to know what you observed. I promise you are not in any trouble. If anything, we are very thankful you stopped him in his tracks." She added softly. She watched as the woman took a deep breath before nodding.</p><p>"I had to. At first, it seemed like. Like he was… touching her." Laura felt her heart clench as the woman said it.</p><p>"But then when he started to scream at her too. And then throwing plates. It was dangerous. I just know I needed to do something. When I asked if she was okay, she only said yes. She didn't want me to call anyone or let me help her. She told me she was fine." The woman finished. She was looking at Maria now, who was taking notes on her phone.</p><p>"How long were they here? Was it only the two of them or anyone else?" Maria continued to as she wrote.</p><p>"First it was only the blond woman. She spent around 15 minutes waiting outside before she moved inside and ordered some food. She was here for just over two hours doing almost nothing. She spent some time on her phone. The other half she seemed to almost be sleeping. She didn't have any earphones or anything just resting by the table. Then she got a phone call she answered. Didn't speak English then either. And finally, after like two and a half hours the man joined her." The waiter looked at them, clearly confused about what they wanted with the information. And to her defense, Laura didn't know exactly what Maria wanted either.</p><p>"But she spoke English to you right?" Pepper asked. Her tone was almost curios Laura noticed.</p><p>"Yeah, she did." The waiter looked almost confused but continued slowly. "She was easy to understand. I couldn't pick really pick up any accents. She seemed very comfortable in both languages… considering the circumstances." The woman finished before turning to Maria with a small look.</p><p>"Thank you," Maria said looking at the woman with a small smile putting away her phone.</p><p>"You're welcome, I guess. I don't know if was of any help. But if you want anything else. Or just a snack I am more than happy to help." The woman said giving them a small grimace.</p><p>"Actually. Why not. I will gladly take a late." Maria said with a small smile, and Laura watched as the woman's face lit up.</p><p>They ended up ordering some coffee and some pastries. They were sitting by a window table watching the outside and at the same time the young woman cleaned up after the mess the mystery man had made.</p><p>Maria was sitting staring into nothing while Pepper and Laura kept throwing glances at her. The woman was clearly thinking about something. But Laura wasn't entirely sure what.</p><p>"He knows we are going after him. He even wore gloves not to leave fingerprints." Maria mumbled before turning to the two of them. Laura only looked at her. She had a feeling she was more talking to herself and not really them.</p><p>"I mean for all we know this can be some really good tech and not Natasha at all," Maria said this time a lot more serious, looking at them to see if they were following.</p><p>"You can do that?" Laura said looking at her confused, unsure if she caught that sentence correctly.</p><p>"Yeah. Shield had a mask that took the shape of another's face and voice. It was called a Photostatic Veil. Natasha was the last one to use it." She paused for a second before adding. "or at least that I know of." Maria mumbled before looking down at her notes.</p><p>"I can put on a full search now. I can close this café and get everyone we have here in 15 minutes."</p><p>"But you don't want to" Pepper jumped in looking at her with a small smile. Maria shook her head slowly before she let Pepper continue.</p><p>"I might not be a former world-class spy, but it is a reason you didn't interfere with her when it went down. Because you knew she let him do it. You are playing the long game." Pepper said carefully.</p><p>Maria only nodded before letting out another sigh. "Maybe it's wrong, but we never interfered with Natasha. We always let her do whatever she needed." Maria's only said before turning her head to look into the café again.</p><p>The young barista was slowly picking up the glass when she stopped and looked at something. Laura could feel Maria tens up as well. Clearly curious about what she found.</p><p>They watched as the woman picked up something before walking over to them. In her hand, she had a small envelope. It was plain white with nothing on it. Laura looked at Maria carefully as Maria accepted the envelope from the young woman.</p><p>"It was on top of the table under the broken glass." The woman said carefully before turning around to leave.</p><p>"Wait," Maria said stopping her by grabbing her arm. The young woman's eyes widened, but she stayed looking at Laura with a helpless almost scared look. Laura only smiles softly back. She had a feeling she knew why Maria had stopped the woman but decided not to say anything.</p><p>Maria grabbed a rubber glove from her bag before she opened the envelope carefully peaking in. She smiled softly before picking out a small card from the envelope before putting it on the table.</p><p>Laura jumped closer to the woman to look at the card at the same time Pepper too leaned over to look at it. It was a business card. A clean red front with an arrow on it. On the back, it was one simple headshot of Natasha. Still with blond hair and a soft kind smile.</p><p>
  <em>Natalia Alianovna</em>
</p><p>Laura smiled softly as she looked at the card. She could tell, and she knew the two others too, could tell this was her actual handwriting on it as well giving them an even stronger attachment, proving already she was at least involved in this.</p><p>Laura turned to see the barista looking at them confused. Laura laughed softly before picking up the envelope. She already knew what was inside. She could feel it between her fingers. But just to make sure she peeked inside. She was right. A small stack of some 20-dollar bills. Fast math told her it was at least 200 dollars there if it wasn't any bigger bills hiding inside it.</p><p>She turned her attention to the young woman before handing her the envelope.</p><p>"The rest is for you." She said with a small smile. The other woman looked at her confused before taking the envelope slowly. She gave them one last look before turning around and walking back to her counter not even opening the envelope around them.</p><p>When Laura turned back to Maria, she had placed the card on some kind of scanner and was watching the scanner as it scanned the card. She gave Pepper a small look, but the blond only shrugged back with a small smile.</p><p>After 30 seconds the machine let out a small beep and Maria picked up a tablet. Laura watched as a fingerprint popped up on the screen and Maria smiled.</p><p>"It's Natasha." She said before picking up the card putting it in a sealed bag.</p><p>"How can you possibly know that without checking the fingerprint up to any data," Pepper said with a small almost relieved laugh.</p><p>"Learned hers long ago. Seen it enough times. She can do the same with me" Maria said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Laura could only roll her eyes before she followed Maria's lead finishing her drink and getting ready to leave. Still, she didn't leave before she made sure to slip another 20-dollar bill under her plate followed by Pepper doing another fifty.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So now I'm back to the point where I have to write again. Because now I've caught up to what I did in nano… damnit xD so that means it will take longer between updates. So, I'll try to write some every day, but I have a few other things I need to do in the next months as well. But I know people are impatient for this one and very much so for the other fanfic soooooo….. trying. Just like hang on. Also, I have not like beta read this at all. So lol to that.</p>
<p>Make it a good week and I'll talk to you soon.</p>
<p>Red/S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So, what we learn from this?" Clint said leaning back in his chair as they had their evening meeting.</p>
<p>Maria, Pepper, and Laura came home a few hours earlier and after eating dinner and getting the kids to bed they decided to call for the Avengers and tell them what they discovered.</p>
<p>"We know that she at least meant to give us that card. And she was aware we were there." Pepper said looking at them to see if they all agreed.</p>
<p>"And then what. Like this is not you every normal woman. We are talking about <em>the black widow. </em>Surely she wants something more." Rhodey said as he pulled up a map of New York to look at.</p>
<p>"If they were speaking Russian chances are high, they won't be staying very long." Steve pointed out as he pulled out another hologram map and started and flip through some different countries before landing on Russia.</p>
<p>"So, what, you're just going to look for her in the world's biggest country. That seems kind of ridiculous" Rhodey challenged "You are only thinking about Bucky. He is over there in Europe somewhere I am sure you would like a chance to go there." Rhodey mumbled.</p>
<p>Laura looked between them feeling her stomach tighten. She didn't like this. Not at all. She had no idea why they switched the tone like that, but this didn't seem good. Not at all where did this even come from?</p>
<p>"Excuse me but that is not what this is about," Steve growled back forcing Tony to step between them making Laura let out a small exhale in relief.</p>
<p>"Okay calm down boys we don't need to start anything. Take a deep breath and just focus up" Tony said looking between the two of them. It was almost sounding like a threat, not that Laura thought that was a bad thing right now. They needed it to focus on Natasha here and not starting to argue.</p>
<p>"But how are we going to approach this? I mean I think we can all agree this didn't help us as much as we hoped it would." Sam said as he picked up one of the copies of the business cards playing with it between his fingers.</p>
<p>Pepper had ended up printing 3 copies of the card with Maria's blessing earlier just to make sure they could look at it without actually damaging the other real one. They knew the original would hold some secrets but better safe than sorry. Because was it one thing Laura and learned with kids was it that touching things a lot of times usually left marks.</p>
<p>Clint leaned forward to the table. Laura watched him carefully pick up the one real card. It was still in a small plastic bag to make sure it wasn't getting damaged.</p>
<p>He looked at it with a thoughtful look.</p>
<p>"Why did she use that name? And why did she her real handwriting?" He mumbled as he let his finger glide along with the card. He was clearly thinking very hard about this and was more talking to himself than to the rest of the group.</p>
<p>"What do you mean? She always uses a variant of her name when is undercover doesn't, she?" Rhodey said looking at him with a confused look. "Like with Stark industries. Natalie Rushman." He continued nodding at Pepper and Tony.</p>
<p>"This isn't a made-up name; this is her real name," Clint said. Laura watched as the whole room died down and she could see them staring at him confused.</p>
<p>"Say what now?" Sam said blinking confused at him.</p>
<p>She was actually surprised they didn't know. Even if Natasha never used the name anymore, she thought she would have mentioned it once or twice. Even Pepper seemed surprised, and she was definitely sure Pepper would know. How had Natasha never told Pepper, her girlfriend. That seemed very odd. Even for an old word-class superspy.</p>
<p>"It is. Heard it back when she and I were working against hydra. It's her two first names." Steve said nodding conformingly at Clint.</p>
<p>Okay, Steve knew. That wasn't that surprising. Still hadn't been Natasha who told him. She wasn't aware Natasha was so secretive about her name. she still let her call her Talia, and that was a direct link and nickname to her real name Natalia and not to Natasha. It never had and never would.</p>
<p>"Not going to lie, I did not know she had another name," Sam said shaking his head leaning back in his chair.</p>
<p>"She changed it after she joined shield. Told us she had too many bad memories connected to Natalia" Maria added with a small nod at Clint who nodded back in confirmation.</p>
<p>"So, she did it on purpose then." Rhodey pointed out with a small sigh.</p>
<p>"We are talking about the best spy in the world. She does nothing without a reason." Clint said before throwing the card on the table.</p>
<p>Laura looked at it carefully. One arrow. On red paper. All she could think about was Clint. And Natasha. Together. It was like the necklace he had given her. In fact, the shape seemed extremely similar. Or maybe identical. Short neck. Big point and tail. No, this was her necklace. She was sure of it. It was too similar not to be.</p>
<p>She grabbed the card carefully, and she could feel everyone look at her as she slowly lifted it to the light shifting it slightly to get the light to hit differently. She knew it probably seemed off. Especially since she was a housewife and not in any way involved in this kind of work. But she had learned a few things from her husband and best friend over the years.</p>
<p>
  <em>04.10.2005</em>
</p>
<p>"oh my god," Laura whispered. Looking at the card.</p>
<p>It was barely noticeable, and she could only see it if the light it on the right angle but there it was. so very clearly right in front of her.</p>
<p>"What?" Maria said leaning over to see what Laura was talking about. Laura decided not to try to give the whole explanation knowing it needed some more backstory than she had the energy to give. Instead, she handed the card carefully back to Clint who looked at her with a confused look.</p>
<p>She watched as he copied her slowly lifting it up to the light. Immediately she saw his eyes light up as he realized.</p>
<p>"Jesus Christ Nat," he mumbled before throwing the card on the table grabbing the control over the map. They watched as he moved the map over.</p>
<p>"We are going here." He said pointing at the city on the hologram.</p>
<p>"Vienna?" Tony said already starting to work on his tablet.</p>
<p>"Why?" Steve said looking at him with a confused look.</p>
<p>"Because she left us a hint. On the card. It is the date when I brought her in. And that's where I found her."</p>
<hr/>
<p>Laura was sitting in the living room with Lila on her lap reading a book when Pepper walked into the room. She locked eyes with the mother but decided not to say anything, only taking a seat on another side of the room.</p>
<p>Laura was alone with the kids. The Avengers minus, Wanda and Rhodey were out in Europe to look for Natasha, and after talking about it for a while, Laura had let Clint go.</p>
<p>First Tony had gone alone, but after needing some backup Sam, Vision, Steve and Clint decided to join him to cover more ground in the safest way possible.</p>
<p>They left the rest of them behind in the facilities. Not that Laura minded too much. It was a lot of work with three kids alone, but both Pepper and Wanda helped her in the evenings, so it wasn't too bad.</p>
<p>The team hadn't found anything, and they weren't necessarily expecting to either. They knew Natasha was leading them somewhere, but they were more than one step behind at this point. And if the people Natasha was working for was even just like a quarte as efficient as she was, they would be long gone by now.</p>
<p>They had just gotten into March now and Laura was starting to feel the need to go outside more to try to get to enjoy some early spring weather. It seemed to turn warm quite fast and she was eager to get back a temperature that was warm enough to spend some time in.</p>
<p>As she finished her book with Lila, she could see Pepper starting to pull out some work. She wondered what she wanted.</p>
<p>"Lila could you go over to that table and join your brother for some drawing, please. I'm going to talk with Pepper, okay?" Laura said looking at the girl. Lila nodded happily before sliding off her lap running over to her brother. She smiled after the girl. Just thinking about how happy she was that she and her brother had been so good at listening to everything she said lately.</p>
<p>Laura turned to Pepper and walked up to the other woman.</p>
<p>"Hi. You need anything?" Laura said with a soft smile as she took a seat by the other woman.</p>
<p>"Not really, I just wanted to hear if you were interested to go check out your new home with me tomorrow or in two days? I know it is very last minute, but the old owner gave me the keys today, and I rather want to check it out now than wait too long." Pepper said with a soft smile.</p>
<p>Laura looked back at her surprised. She knew Pepper was getting the keys soon, but she didn't know she already had them. She would love to look at the new home, but she also had the kids, so she needed to find somebody to watch them if they were to go.</p>
<p>"I don't know I have the kids. And I don't think house looking it the best thing to bring them" Laura said thoughtfully. Pepper nodded understandably before saying.</p>
<p>"I am thinking I'll take one of our planes to Washington Regional Airport it's just under an hour to the new house from there," Pepper said with a small smile looking down at a map on her tablet.</p>
<p>Regional was a couple of hours away from their old house, but she did know about it. It was a small airport only used for small planes or the occasional small private jet. They had multiple small airports around in Missouri, in fact, it was one quite close to their old home.</p>
<p>Laura nodded slowly before saying. "Have you heard of Waynesville" her voice was slow as she was trying to figure out if this was going to work in her head or not. Not sure if her memory was good enough for this one.</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's a bit more to the west?" Pepper said as she was looking at the map in front of her. Laura nodded before jumping even closer to her.</p>
<p>"Yes, we lived kinda close to it over here." She said pointing at the map. "We have some friends there that the kids are very close to. I can always ask if they could watch them for the weekend and then we would have two days instead of just a few hours?" Laura said looking at the woman.</p>
<p>"Yeah, why not. I can always ask if our pilot can go there instead, yes. Just need to talk with a driver, but it sounds like a plan." Pepper said nodding softly.</p>
<p>Laura smiled happily back. She knew the kids were missing their friends. And seeing Lucie and Caspar again would be a dream for them. She smiled at Pepper lifted her phone to rearrange and Laura could only fish up her own phone to call Annie.</p>
<p>She was already smiling from ear to ear when she heard Annie pick up her phone on the other end of the line.</p>
<p><em>"Laura!"</em> she could hear the happy voice on the other end Laura could feel herself missing the other woman now. They had of course talked and texted a bit. And with talked and texted Laura meant dumping everything on her because she needed an outlet. She was very thankful she had her, especially now, but she still missed just hanging out and talking to the woman on a regular basis.</p>
<p>"Hi! How are you?" Laura said with a small laugh as she leaned back in her chair.</p>
<p><em>"Good. The kids are of course all over the place, but what is new. What about you?" </em>Annie said with a small laugh making Laura smile softly.</p>
<p>"I'm good. We are thinking about looking at the new house this weekend. And I don't know if it's on very short notice but are you available to watch the.."</p>
<p><em>"OF COURSE," </em>Laura laughed loudly as the woman cut her off.</p>
<p><em>"I would love to see the kid again and of course. You need to look at your new house!" </em>Annie continued only making Laura laugh more.</p>
<p>"Had a feeling you would say yes but needed to make sure," Laura said with a small giggle. She already knew this was going to be a great weekend.</p>
<p>Laura, Pepper, and the kids decided to leave early Saturday morning. It was a two-and-a-half-hour flight, but they needed to drive a bit, and better to go early than late. Then the kids would get as much time with their friends as well, something Laura thought they deserved.</p>
<p>They took one of the private planes Stark had and before Laura knew it, they were back in Missouri. It would only be a 20 minutes' drive to Annie's, and then another hour to the new home. And when the driver pulled up in front of Annie's house Laura's heart started to expand.</p>
<p>The woman was in the door with the kids already, and Lila and Cooper were almost out of the car before they had stopped.</p>
<p>Laura watched as Lila launched herself at Lucie and Caspar running straight into Cooper's arms. It was so amazing and heartbreaking to watch at the same time.</p>
<p>Laura stepped out of the car and grabbed the bags their driver handed her. They were going to spend the night at Annie's while Pepper would stay at a hotel close by.</p>
<p>Annie was waiting for her as she walked up to the door and dragged her into a big hug.</p>
<p>"Good to see you again Laur," Annie said with a soft voice as she pulled back.</p>
<p>"I know you need to run again, but if Pepper wants to, she is more than welcome to eat dinner with us this evening," Annie said grabbing the bags from Laura. Laura only nodded at her before saying.</p>
<p>"It was lovely to see you. Promise to talk tonight. But I think Nate is waking up too." Laura said giving Annie another short hug before moving to the car again. Annie nodded before waving at them before they continued their way over to the new house.</p>
<p>Laura spent most of the drive there to nurse try to calm down Nate who woke up, but when they started to get close, she started to feel some butterflies. Why was she so nervous about this house?</p>
<p>They drove past a small little down before taking a small sideroad to get to the house. Outside it was beautiful big fields with beautiful houses everywhere. Was this really where they were going to live?</p>
<p>She let out a small gasp as they pulled up into the driveway. Unlike the last house, it wasn't on an end road, it was its own whole section. The small road the connected all the houses and farms had a small branch this house was part of. The small branch went straight through their lot, 90 degrees from west to the south before connecting with the main road again.</p>
<p>It was a beautiful white house, one of what seemed like 3 buildings. One of them was a big wooden garage. And farmhouse. All on the lot connected with a small road in the middle of the lot. With small grass patches between and open space for what she could only imagine was going to be lots of play.</p>
<p>She picked up Nate carefully before stepping out of the car taking in the beautiful place. As she tried to get him in his baby carrier she tried to look around as much as possible.</p>
<p>"Wow." Laura let out looking around carefully.</p>
<p>"Yeah," Pepper said softly before slowly starting to make her way over to the house.</p>
<p>"it's bigger than I thought it was going to be." The blond said, almost making it as a statement, as they walked towards the house. Laura could only nod at the comment. She didn't know what to say. It was incredible. Pepper was incredible.</p>
<p>This was perfect.</p>
<p>"The bigger the house the emptier space." Was the only thing Laura was able to say, making Pepper laugh softly as she started to look for the keys.</p>
<p>"This feels like a back door." Laura pointed out as they walked up to a white door.</p>
<p>"Probably is too." Pepper only said clearly not going to try to find the front door, making Laura laugh.</p>
<p>The back door was nice though. It was like a small back area underneath a roof. With space for some chairs and benches. The old owners had left an old grill. It was old and rusty but matched the rest of the farm. It really was a nice small area she could definitely picture being the home for a lot of clutter knowing her family.</p>
<p>While Pepper was opening the door, Laura took the time to turn around and look some more around. It was a small wooden storehouse here too, which she hadn't noticed before. The whole place really seemed beautiful. So much space. So much land. Laura didn't even know what to think. This was going to be their home. This beautiful place was where they were going to live. This was incredible.</p>
<p>"Oh my god."</p>
<p>Laura didn't have the time to turn around properly before she backed up straight into Pepper who had stopped in the door just looking into the room.</p>
<p>Laura shook her head confused before walking past her immediately stopping too.</p>
<p>The whole room was filled with cardboard boxes. Carefully stacked with numbers on them. They were all in different shapes and sizes spread across the whole room.</p>
<p>"I thought you said it was empty," Laura whispered slowly moving over to one of the boxes. She let her hand glide over it carefully not opening it, just looking at it confused.</p>
<p>"I thought so." Pepper replied with a low voice. Laura turned to her when she heard the sound of paper. Pepper had a paper in her hand. It was a printed list.</p>
<p>
  <em>1-3 kitchen.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>4-9 living room</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>10 dining room</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>11-12 kids</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>13-20 extra</em>
</p>
<p>Laura looked at Pepper confused. Pepper only looked at the paper before slowly moving over to one of the boxes labeled 2. It was relatively big but flat.</p>
<p>Laura watched her open it slowly.</p>
<p>"How?" Laura whispered sinking beside Pepper as Pepper slowly removed the newspaper in the box. Pepper turned to her and looked at her confused, but Laura already knew what it was. It was her white porcelain fruit bowl. Natasha had given it to her years ago.</p>
<p>Laura lifted it up carefully, trying to not hit Nathaniel as she did so, before placing it on the floor. It was no doubt this was hers. She knew it was because Natasha even told her she got it commissioned for her.</p>
<p>"This is from our old house," Laura whispered letting her finger glide over the bowl. Pepper turned to her with wide eyes before squinting clearly thinking about something. Laura watched her think before moving over to another box. It was the number one. It was big. really big.</p>
<p>Laura immediately recognized what it was the second Pepper opened it. It was the costume knives Natasha had gotten clint, followed by some plates Laura had inherited from her parents after they had passed away. Two things that were so important to both of them.</p>
<p>She already had a feeling she knew what the theme was now. She turned around and opened a random box not even looking at the number. Inside was filled with toys for the kids. Toys she remembered. Things she knew they loved.</p>
<p>She moved to the next box. One of Clint's best suits and a dress.</p>
<p>Clothes of the kids.</p>
<p>Some of her favourite old books.</p>
<p>More toys</p>
<p>"Oh my god." Laura said turning to Pepper who was in the middle of opening another box. "how is this even possible?" Laura said picking up one of the pictures Natasha had had in her old room.</p>
<p>"I don't know." Pepper only whispered looking down into a big box. Laura tilted her head looking at the woman who only looked down at the box not moving anything. Laura made her way carefully over trying not to step on anything she had so carelessly placed all over the floor.</p>
<p>She looked curious over Pepper's should and to her surprise inside was Wanda's guitar and most the of the Christmas gifts Laura and Clint had gifted her.</p>
<p>Pepper turned to her and looked at her seriously.</p>
<p>"This could only be her. It's no other explanation." Pepper said looking at her seriously.</p>
<p>Nobody else would know about many of the things that were here. Some of the things would for most people just seem like random things, but this really did seem like a collection of all of the most important items from Laura's old house. Pepper was right. This had to be Natasha.</p>
<p>They spent the next 7 hours trying to unpack everything and going over the house. The house in itself was beautiful. It had two big bedrooms, like master bedrooms. One had, like her old house, a walk-in closet so that would be Laura and Clint's master bedroom, while for the time being, they would reserve the other big room for Natasha.</p>
<p>They didn't know if Nathaniel would end up with his own room or share it with Lila. Right now, Lila really wanted to share a room with him when he got old enough, and if both of them did want that they wouldn't have a problem with doing so. They would also have one room over the garage to give to one of them if they wanted some more space. Or maybe that would be the room for Wanda. The garage was almost like a small apartment. It had a bedroom and an old stove and fridge as well. The bathroom was on the same level as the car, but it was still very nice. Looked quite new too. It would be a lovely place to live for a teen.</p>
<p>The living room and kitchen was one big room here too. The kitchen was quite new, newer than her old home at least. And it was bigger. A lot bigger. They had a study, dining room, and something that felt like a mini living room. Pluss of course two bathrooms.</p>
<p>Laura didn't know how Pepper knew how this would be the perfect home, but it really was. it was incredible. The open space would be perfect to play on. So much space to run around on for the kids. They could put up some targets for the kids. A swing maybe. It was lovely.</p>
<p>Like Pepper had said, it was a renovation project. Even with her knowledge of zero, Laura could tell this needed some work. One of the walls had a big dent in it. It seemed like it was partly water damaged in some places, and just in general quite old. Not that Laura minded. She knew it would turn out great, and since Pepper had warned her about it too it wasn't a disappointment either. If anything, she could picture it being quite fun working on the house with Pepper.</p>
<p>As they finished up for the night Laura realized she had lost Pepper. She thought she was down in the living room with her, but she must have moved somewhere when she didn't notice. The car that was picking them up and driving them to Annie again was already here, so she needed to find her.</p>
<p>Laura picked up Nate again before slowly making her way upstairs. He had been so good at handling the traveling surprisingly well. It wasn't ideal at all, but he had been very good regardless. She was happy had turned into a better sleeper. He was still a lighter sleeper than his siblings, but he was definitely better now than before. And especially considering his age.</p>
<p>She found Pepper in one of the bedrooms standing by the window. In her hand, she had Natasha's red leather jacket. The one that Wanda had arrived in months ago and used before Laura lent her one of her own winter jackets.</p>
<p>Laura watched the woman as she slowly collected herself and turned around.</p>
<p>"Ready to go?" Pepper asked softly. Laura nodded back with a small smile.</p>
<p>She could tell Pepper was hurting. She wasn't surprised. Of course, she was. Why wouldn't she? She had more or less lost her girlfriend. They had no idea where she was, and she hadn't seen her in months. Laura couldn't imagine the pain she had to be going through and having to deal with every day.</p>
<p>The drive back to Annie was mostly quiet. Pepper was spending her time going over some emails on her phone and Laura had Nate. Pepper had been unsure if she wanted to join dinner at Annie's and had argued to just stay at a hotel. But Laura thought that was ridiculous. Annie was a lovely woman and she thought it would be a good chance for Pepper too. So, after some talking Pepper had agreed to join dinner before she would eventually take a taxi back to the hotel.</p>
<p>Laura didn't even bother to knock when they arrived just walked straight into the house with Pepper trailing behind her. She could already smell the delicious smell of some homemade pizza sauce. Laura loved Annie's pizza and so did her kids. She was really hoping for a nice evening with them.</p>
<p>"Laura how was the house?!" Annie walked around the corner already reaching after Nate to let Laura take off her jacket.</p>
<p>Laura smiled softly before replying. "Very nice. Big. very big" She watched as Annie let out a small laugh before nodding.</p>
<p>"Dinner won't be finished before an hour, a good time for this little guy to go to bed I'm guessing. Because of the time zones, right?" Annie said cuddling softly with Nate who seemed very interested in the gold necklace around she was bearing.</p>
<p>"Yes. You really do think of everything." Laura said softly turning to Pepper who was standing awkwardly behind her. Or as awkward as Pepper Potts could look, she supposed.</p>
<p>The two of them, plus Nate, spent the next hour in a small sitting area close by the kitchen as Annie worked on dinner. They had both offered to help at least three times each, but Annie continued to refuse.</p>
<p>Just before Laura was putting Nate to sleep, Kent joined them. Pepper and Kent hit it surprisingly well off. She didn't know why she was surprised really. Pepper was really easy to like as long you didn't try to annoy her and Kent was a very down to earth man. Never pushing or digging in any way, which Laura knew Pepper always appreciated.</p>
<p>Annie had, of course, offered them the guest room. While Pepper had declined, she and Nate would still be staying in the guest room while the kids would stay at the kids' room together.</p>
<p>Being here made Laura realize how very thankful she had Annie still. It was the one other adult friend she was really close to. Because while she was on good terms with the kid's friends' parents, Annie knew more or less everything about her and her family. And she was the only one to do so. But the best part was that even though Annie knew about Natasha's inane past and Clint's former job, nothing had really changed, and she never treated her differently because of it.</p>
<p>Of course, they and that one event when Annie had admitted she had found out everything about Natasha by more or less accident. And of course, when you find out one of your best friends, is a friend of one of the former biggest assassins, you get scared. But after Laura explained their side Annie started to understand and went back to her soft self. If anything, she seemed to grow closer to Natasha herself, always making sure Natasha was involved when she was around.</p>
<p>The whole evening and night were used to catch up. The kids didn't really give the adults any attention, which didn't bother Laura at all. The kids were very much allowed to have fun with their friends without the adults interfering. She was just happy the kids could hang out with their old friends again.</p>
<p>She had no idea how it would be when they moved into the new house. She wanted them to still keep in touch, of course, but she never did know how to keep a long-distance friendship alive. Even if it was only "one hour" away.</p>
<p>The kids were currently upstairs laughing. They were supposed to be sleeping at this point, but they were very clearly not. Still, none of the parents wanted to talk them down. Instead, they just continued their own small conversation.</p>
<p>Pepper stayed longer than Laura had thought she would. But Pepper had fallen very naturally into the conversation and Laura was happy she stayed for a bit longer.</p>
<p>"So, being, well Pepper Potts, I'm guessing you are very involved with the Avengers?" Annie asked softly as she was holding around her tea mug looking at Pepper curious.</p>
<p>"I am. I want to say sadly, but that might be a bit rude." Pepper said with a small smile making Annie laugh loudly and Laura giggle softly at her.</p>
<p>"But yes. I do. Never seem to get a break from them." Pepper said, still with a small mischievous look in her eye.</p>
<p>"So, the next question would be, is what I've seen about you and Natasha true then?" Laura watched as Pepper's eyes widened in surprise. "Because I like Natasha, but I never heard anything about a… a hot blond dating her. That was before I saw it on the front page of every newspaper inexistent. But I mean I don't know if what I've read is true" Annie added with a small playful voice.</p>
<p>Laura and told Annie what had happened. Of course, she had. She needed to so she could keep herself sane. She needed to talk to somebody. She hadn't told her everything, but the bigger parts. Just so he could get it off her chest. But even if Annie knew that Natasha was gone, and they were trying to hunt her down, Annie was clearly not going for that information. She was going for the fun part. She was going for the juicy part.</p>
<p>"Depends what you've read," Pepper mumbled looking down at her hands making Laura laugh louder than what she was planning.</p>
<p>"It is. And it is <em>very </em>cute." Laura said with a small laugh making Pepper hide herself in her hands even more clearly uncomfortable, even if both Annie and Kent were laughing softly with Laura.</p>
<p>"I think it's a beautiful thing. And they <em>both</em> deserve it." Laura added tossing Pepper a serious look. Pepper lifted her head and looked at her carefully before giving her a small smile.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Again guys… this is dark. This fanfic is not a light-hearted one. So just keep that in mind as you read, please.</p>
<p>I re-read the series and I was like telling myself like you just never give Laura a break, do I? Like my heart was actually aching reading because like I just shit on Laura all the time. And obviously, I really mess with Nat all the time, but like yeah this will for sure affect Laura quite a bit. basically. I don't give them a break and make their lives suck.</p>
<p>Other than that. Hope you all are having a good week!</p>
<p>Red/S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Laura was sitting in the living room with the rest of the avengers. She had a book between her legs and a phone in her hand, trying to multitask all the things while listening to the silly conversations the boys started. They were currently just enjoying each other's company. Talking, eating, working. Just being in the same room really.</p>
<p>Tony was sitting with some work, and so were Pepper and Maria. They all shot things into the conversation, but mostly they just listened to the banter between the others.</p>
<p>Most of the Avengers were here hanging out. Just having fun together ending the day on a good note. Playing around, keeping the mood light and fun. Something they all needed very much. They liked doing this. And they had done these the last two weeks. Just gathering together without any real plan for what to do or anything, just being together.</p>
<p>The only one that wasn't there now was Wanda, who Laura knew had been struggling a bit lately. She knew the absence of Natasha was hard for her, and Natasha was the one she used to seek comfort from before, so Laura could understand this wasn't a good time for her right now. She wished she was able to talk her out of her room. She had tried multiple times. But the girl had declined, and Laura didn't want to push her more now.</p>
<p>Still, Laura loved evenings like this. Where they all were just together having a good time. It was the best way to turn off her head after a day with the kids. Trying to relax in other ways than just going to bed right away. Things were happening so fast now, and it was nice to slow it down with a social nice evening.</p>
<p>Laura was currently texting with Annie now. They were talking about when they would move. It was still a long way in the future, but after the kids had met not that long ago, when Laura and Pepper were checking out the house, they realized even more how they wanted to keep in touch. They couldn't lose what the kids had. It was only a 50 minutes' drive between the two towns. So, they could see each other on the weekends, keeping up the sleepovers and stuff. And since Clint and Laura were also friends with the adults so it would be a good thing for them too. Plus they had the whole summer to do things as well. They could go camping or maybe go on a small vacation to another state or something.</p>
<p>Fixing the house would be a huge project. But Pepper had already talked to some of her contacts talking to somebody to look at the house and the exterior. They needed to find out what to replace of walls and roofs. And then they, of course, needed to start finding some furniture to fill the house with. They didn't need to do all of it before they moved in, but they didn't want to come to more or less an empty house with the kids.</p>
<p>She had learned a lot that weekend. About the neighbourhood and the small town. It seemed very nice. The school wasn't too far away. Both for the age they were now and high school when that time came. And it was a kindergarten close too. She didn't know when she would send Nathaniel to kindergarten yet, but at least she had the option to.</p>
<p>Laura was completely lost in her head when they heard Friday's voice break the comfortable atmosphere in the room.</p>
<p>"Security breach."</p>
<p>Laura lifted her head to meet all the other confused looks from the others.</p>
<p>"What did you just say to me?" Tony said surprised whipping up a big hologram showing what Laura was guessing part of Friday's programming.</p>
<p>"Classified information." Friday just replied, earning a really confused look from Tony.</p>
<p>"Excuse me, I was the one that made you! What is going on?" Tony said looking at the hologram pulling up different things from all over the place.</p>
<p>One of the pictures was a grid with tons of different pictures, and Laura was guessing it was footage from the different security cameras around the building. Some of them were inside of, some of them outside.</p>
<p>Tony continued to switch between a couple different once before stopping just seconds before one of the pictures from the cameras turned black.</p>
<p>"That isn't supposed to happen right?" Sam said leaning forward pointing at the black camera. They didn't need an answer from Tony, who immediately started pressing things, very clearly indicating he was not expecting that. Maria walked up to him looking at the screen with him for a second before slowly adding.</p>
<p>"Yeah, and neither is that." She said pointing at another camera that was flickering before it shut itself off. Laura turned to Pepper was looking back at her with a worried look.</p>
<p>"Is somebody inside Friday?" Steve said as he watched another camera turn black. Laura could tell from everyone that they were starting to get stressed. And being around the Avengers when they were scared of a situation was not something Laura wanted to ever do.</p>
<p>Laura was well aware Friday was in charge of most of the building. She was basically the first line of defense holding together the security system, as well as doing smaller things like opening and closing doors and turning on lights. She was like the thing holding the whole building together. If somebody was controlling her from the outside…</p>
<p>This was not good.</p>
<p>"I don't see anything wrong, but don't ask her anything just to make sure," Tony replied before bringing up another camera just in time for it to turn black again. "This is... Not normal." He mumbled more to himself than the rest of them as he continued to work not bothering to look at them.</p>
<p>"Okay Cap, Vison, Clint, suit up. You come with me and take them outside with me. Sam, Rhodey, Maria, you stay here with Laura and Pepper. Let's go." Tony said before standing up. The others gave him a small nod before they all started to move. Nobody said anything. Just standing up and moving over the floor. Clint only gave her one look not showing any interest in talking to her before leaving.</p>
<p>Laura could only watch them as they exited the room before moving closer to Maria to keep an eye on the cameras. It was like hundreds of cameras here. But it still somehow seemed so… in control… whatever or whoever that was messing with them.</p>
<p>The cameras continued to flick off. They were starting to get more rapid now. As if the person knew exactly what to do and when to do it. Whoever he or she was. it was no way just a random person could hack into a system like this. Right? This had to be planned. Or it was an inside person maybe. It was so systematic and so fast at this point. A normal hacker wouldn't know what to do right? Where every single camera was like this.</p>
<p>"Stark where are you guys?" Maria said carefully into a com as they watched two cameras blackout at the same time. Pepper lifted an eyebrow when for the first time two cameras got shut off together. Was it two people at work here? Or did the person really just get the hang of this and was planning on shutting everything down?</p>
<p><em>"Northside by the gate. It's nothing here except a dead camera." </em>Laura could hear him reply with an annoyed voice.</p>
<p>"I think it's closer by the building now. Haven't gotten eyes on a person yet either. They keep moving into the blind zones. Somehow." Maria said as they watched another camera turn black. She sounded concerned. She turned to the rest of them before saying.</p>
<p>"I think are moving to one of the back doors. Rhodey, stay here with Laura and Pepper, Sam, come with me." Maria said. Sam nodded before they both walked towards the door grabbing something from a drawer Laura didn't spot what was.</p>
<p>Laura could feel how she was starting to get tenser now. She knew this was a building that was supposed to be more or less impossible to hack or sneak into. It was one of the most secure buildings in the world. But it was still happening. Right now. The people behind this had to be experienced. But at the same time, so was the Avengers, and she needed to trust them. To trust that they would stay fine and knew what they were doing. Because she knew her, and her kids' lives were counting on it.</p>
<p>Pepper leaned over to the hologram before pressing on something.</p>
<p>"Hey what are you doing?" Rhodey said looking at her with a strict look as if he was trying to stop her from doing whatever she was doing.</p>
<p>"I designed this house. I think I know what door she is talking about. I newly installed a camera there." Pepper said turning to Rhodey with a serious look. He looked at her for a second, clearly thinking about not letting her continue before he nodded back slowly letting her continue working.</p>
<p>"Though I haven't tested it yet," she mumbled as she flicked between some cameras. They were all inside cameras now, showing random hallways. Most of them Laura hadn't seen before. She knew Pepper had made this building and all, but it was so big. She had been living here for months now and had barely seen anything yet, how did Pepper know exactly what they were going for?</p>
<p>"There," Pepper said slowly as a picture started to form. It was mostly just showing a hallway. It had one door at the end of the shot. It was just a normal metal door. Or at least so it seemed.</p>
<p>"Where is this?" Rhodey said looking at it confused trying to make the most out of the very plain picture</p>
<p>"Almost directly below us." Pepper answered low before leaning forwards looking at the door. Laura could see the woman was staring at something, but she didn't get what before Pepper spoke up again.</p>
<p>"Maria. I think they are at the door" Pepper said slowly. Laura could only hold her breath as they watched Maria and Sam's shadow form in the corner of the picture at the same time the door got kicked open.</p>
<p>Both Pepper and Laura jumped in the seat when the door slammed open with full force denting what was a nice, presumably quite new, light grey wall. In the door was a man with his head pointing their direction, hiding behind a mask covering his mouth and nose, and framing to angry, wild eyes. And leaning his shoulder was a woman barely hanging on. And Laura noticed it immediately.</p>
<p>It was Natasha.</p>
<p>Pepper was on her feet in seconds and all Laura could do was to follow her to not lose her. She could hear Rhodey run behind them saying something in the coms.</p>
<p>"It is the winter soldier, he has Natasha."</p>
<p>Laura was barely keeping up with the blond in front of her as she sprinted down the stairs and pushed the door open to the hallway they were standing. She had no time to process anything in her head before they almost ran straight into the two in front of them</p>
<p>When they finally caught up with them Maria said slowly. "Friday, alert the med bay that we need assistant please." Maria's voice was shaking as she was staring at the wounded woman in front of them. Clearly having no idea what to do with herself. Both Maria and Sam were standing looking at the other two in them. Frozen to the floor.</p>
<p>"Ms. Romanoff requested not to contact anyone." Friday answered casually earning a loud "really" from Sam. And a small sharp breath from Maria.</p>
<p><em>"Where are you?!"</em> Laura could hear Tony through Maria's com as he yelled clearly running or flying closer to them already.</p>
<p>"Back door," Maria mumbled low still not moving from her spot, paralyzed from the sight in front of her.</p>
<p>Only 15 seconds later they could hear footsteps from inside behind them as Iron man came flying down the hallway with Steve running it behind him, Clint and Vision only just behind.</p>
<p>"Bucky?!" Laura moved out of the way as she heard Steve's voice behind her letting him through.</p>
<p>"Steve." The man replied before taking off his mask revealing his face staring at them all intensely.</p>
<hr/>
<p>The whole team was in the living room. Or most of them. Maria was missing, running around trying to get Natasha's door to open with Tony trying to fix Friday to help them.</p>
<p>Bucky was sitting in the corner awkwardly looking at all of them, while the rest tried their best not to look at him at all. None of them was sure to handle this. Or even how to act.</p>
<p>Bucky and Natasha had spent a good five minutes just looking at them downstairs before Natasha had said something to Bucky before they had slowly started to move upstairs. None of the Avengers had tried to stop them. Most of them were too scared of Bucky in general, clearly not wanting to deal with him. And with Natasha around his shoulders, they were all very aware of the risk of harming her if they stepped wrong. He really could have switched any second on her and them, probably taking her life before any of them had the chance to stop her. And she was clearly not in a state to stop him either.</p>
<p>She was destroyed. Laura could tell even from the distance she had had between them. Even from the other side of the room, she could see the woman struggling to even keep herself on her feet. She had had a big cut over her eye. With old and new blood down her face and covering most of her body and back suit. Her hair was still blond, cut short just over her shoulders. She looked like a completely different person with that hair. It felt unfamiliar. She felt unfamiliar.</p>
<p>Natasha had ended up guided him upstairs to her room only giving orders in what Laura was about 50% sure was Russian, but she knew Natasha was fluent in a lot of Slavic languages, and in general eastern European, and all of them sounded very similar to Laura. Whatever it was, Bucky understood it and followed her orders.</p>
<p>She had ended up leaving the man at her bedroom door closing it behind her and immediately closing and locking it for everyone else. Even Tony.</p>
<p>"So…. Should we ask what the hell you were doing killing all of our cameras?" Sam said finally looking at the man with a small look that said annoyance more than anything else.</p>
<p>"Nat asked me to do it that way. I wasn't the one in charge." The man answered simply looking at all of them before crossing his arms.</p>
<p>Nat. He was calling her Nat. Why? That was like the name Natasha's friends would call her. Were they close? Laura turned to Pepper who was by her side. The woman was pale and seemed to only get whiter by the second. Her eyes were getting red to and Laura could feel the woman had lost herself.</p>
<p>"Bucky you need to give us more here. What were you doing? Why didn't you just, I don't know, come here any other time? We would have helped you." Steve said looking at the man in front of him. His voice was hurt. Really hurt.</p>
<p>"She told me not to. She said she wasn't sure if she could trust you to trust me." Bucky's voice was flat as he talked, and Laura was starting to really see what Steve meant when he had told her about Bucky. How she could tell they had really hurt him when they had brainwashed him taken all of his former personality with it.</p>
<p>"I mean to be fair the last time we met you, you tied to kill us," Sam said unimpressed making Rhodey loudly groan.</p>
<p>"It was different then," Bucky answered looking at them still. This voice seemed surprisingly controlled and calm Laura noticed.</p>
<p>"What makes it different?" Sam continued to challenge not giving in.</p>
<p>"I am on your side. If I wasn't Natali- Natasha would have been dead by now." Bucky said more angrily this time, clenching his metal arm. Laura watched the arm flex, making her whole body, shiver. She had a feeling this was a bad way to go about this, but she didn't feel she had a place to see anything at this point, only looking between all of the angry faces.</p>
<p>"Why would you help her?!" Clint said looking at the man in front of him with an angry look in his eyes.</p>
<p>"BECAUSE THAT IS WHY SHE WAS OUT THERE BECAUSE SHE WAS LOOKING FOR ME!" Bucky stood up and immediately the room jumped in action, Steve jumping to stop him while everyone else grabbed their weapon which they all and left close by.</p>
<p>"I am done with this conversation. Put me in a cell or whatever you want. I just need to get out of this room right now." Bucky said looking at them still with anger in his eyes.</p>
<p>Steve turned around to the group and Rhodey lifted his shoulders.</p>
<p>"Give him the room between me and Vision. Ask Friday to lock it, and if anything happens, alert us." He said earning an approving nod from Sam and Clint.</p>
<p>Steve nodded back at them before he led Bucky out of the room and left the rest of them in silence. They didn't say anything. None of them did. They only stared into nothing trying to figure out what to do with themselves.</p>
<p>Natasha had gone after him. Why? Was that what she had been doing for all of these months? To find Bucky. Why was she so hurt? She hadn't even had the strength to keep herself on her feet and now he was here, siding with her. As if Bucky was sacred, <em>they</em> would hurt <em>her</em>.</p>
<p>They all turned their heads when Tony slowly pushed the door open.</p>
<p>"Pepper, Maria is asking for you. Friday is not opening the door, maybe you can help." Tony said with a low defeated tone.</p>
<p>"What is wrong with Friday, why can't she just, you know, open the door, or the window for that matter," Rhodey asked looking at the man who let out a loud groan.</p>
<p>"Because apparently, Natasha asked her not to do so. I don't know how that woman did it. But she somehow got Friday on her side and not <em>mine</em>. But she did. And that is how she just walked right into the building because Friday can apparently play favourites." Tony said rolling his eyes dramatically before falling down on a chair.</p>
<p>"I mean I guess I shouldn't be surprised. She knows me too well for my own good. She is giving me the biggest headache. How do you do it?" Tony said facepalming as he spoke to Clint making him roll his eyes.</p>
<p>"Well, I have Laura to keep her in check. I don't know how she does it, but she just walks straight into your head. Something about those green eyes." Clint said with a sarcastic voice making Tony laugh annoyed back.</p>
<p>"Those green eyes. You don't know who deep those were staring into my soul when I met her. Engraved into my memory forever."</p>
<p>The room fell into silence. It was hard to know what to even reply. They all had to agree. Natasha was a whole new category. But at the same time. She would never harm them. She was so loyal. She had only fight for the Avengers and shield the last decade. She would never betray them.</p>
<p>"So, the rest of us are just off to bed then?" Sam said as they watched Pepper exit the room with her head down. He turned around and looked at them all before they all nodded slowly.</p>
<p>Guess they all would just have to see what tomorrow would bring.</p>
<p>Laura woke up with an incredible headache. She had been tossing all night and barely slept. She knew Clint was struggling with the same thing. They had both been thinking about Natasha and only Natasha. She was worried. Really worried.</p>
<p>When they entered the living room everyone else was there. And they were all in the same state. Tired and worried. All of their faces were clearly lacking sleep, and it was no hiding the very dark look in all of the eyes. Pepper was sitting by the kitchen island with an empty look in her eyes with Steve sitting on the opposing side doing the same thing. Neither of them seemed to be aware of the other one staring intensely in their direction. Both lost in their head.</p>
<p>The kids knew nothing still so when they entered the scene their positivity did help, somewhat.</p>
<p>Somebody must have told Wanda last night. It was probably Vision. Her eyes were read. As if she had been crying too. That alone was enough to make Laura really sad. And then watching the rest of the team to so down. It was awful.</p>
<p>Clint and Laura looked at each other as Maria entered the room. She was the last one awake which was not like her at all. She was always up early to run or do some sort of workout before an early morning coffee to get her day started. Now her eyes were tired, and she was clearly working on zero sleep and a lot of stress in her body.</p>
<p>Laura let out a small sigh as she started to make breakfast for the kids. They had to keep the day as normal as possible. For them and for themselves. They all just all needed time. Even if that was the last thing any of them wanted right now. All they wanted was answers.</p>
<p>At least having the kids around helped all of them. It was no hiding they all tried to get their head to think about something else using them as a distraction. Everyone was, for some reason, very interested in Cooper's Lego and Lila's drawings today compared to every other day.</p>
<p>Laura could spend her day with Nate feeding and playing with him. Doing everything in her power to keep her head away from what happened yesterday.</p>
<p>Or that was until she walked into one of the smaller work areas, or studies, to find a book she and been reading, only to find Natasha sitting in a chair by the window pointing outside.</p>
<p>The whole building was made of more or less just windows and glass, and this room was no exception. Yes, it was a lot more closed off, and people wouldn't walk here by accident, only if they were specifically going for one of the rooms in this part of the building. But Laura could still see her sitting there. With her back towards her looking out of the window.</p>
<p>This was the first time Laura really had the chance to see get a good look at the former spy. And she didn't know what to do. She needed to see her. She wanted to see her. But it hurt. So much.</p>
<p>It hurt so much.</p>
<p>She pushed the door open to her small study room slowly, holding her breath as she entered.</p>
<p>She wasn't sure what to expect really. But Natasha was sitting in her chair with her eyes closed and the light dimmed in the room, reflecting the dusk outside.</p>
<p>She had a bandage covering the cut on her forehead and across her entire upper body. Nobody had looked at her yet. to Maria not Pepper. Nobody. They and let her do her own thing. And while it was very risky, knowing the woman could have completely ignored some of the more serious injuries, all of them, and laid back, not even trying to get close to Natasha. Truth be told, they all thought she was still in her room.</p>
<p>None of them wanted to admit it, but all of them were almost a bit scared of her. She had played them and walked around them for months. And all of the months on the run had just over and over shown them exactly why she was the world's former best spy and what said person really was capable of.</p>
<p>She probably could if she wanted, just run away again now. Without them noticing. They weren't even aware she had left the room yet. They had no control over her, even when they tried. So, it was either stay back or risking pushing her away even more.</p>
<p>Thankfully it looked like she had taken care of the worst injuries. She could, of course, be wrong. But the bandages seemed clean at least. She had washed off all the dirt too and was dressed in some clean clothes. Still, it really didn't calm Laura's beating heart very much.</p>
<p>"Hi, Nat." Laura tired looking at the woman. She knew Natasha was aware she was there. She probably knew she was there even before she and entered the room. She always, somehow, did know where she had Laura. Always.</p>
<p>Natasha turned her head slowly looking at the woman with a look Laura hadn't seen in a while. It was an at peace, calm look, to her surprise.</p>
<p>"I see you found my favourite study" Natasha said softly. Her eyes were calm and unlike a lot of the times she and talked to her the last year or so, she actually smiled softly. Her walls were lowered.</p>
<p>Why?</p>
<p>Laura was already on her toes. She didn't know where she had Natasha at this point. She only looked at the woman as she turned completely around and stood up.</p>
<p>"Yeah, I guess so. Pepper gave me access to it a while back." Laura replied slowly still keeping a close eye on the woman as she moved over the floor to sit down on the other chair. She could see Natasha's eyes follow her as she walked.</p>
<p>"I can tell you're staring Laura," Natasha said as Laura finally took a seat on the other side of the desk. Laura only looked at her before she slowly nodded, eyes still glued in her green eyes. "What are you thinking about?" The blond added looking at her.</p>
<p>"I don't know what to say" Laura admitted, watching as Natasha chewed on what she said. As if her brain was actually trying to pick apart everything she was saying and doing. "It has just been hard. I really missed you" she whispered turning her head away from her.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry," Natasha said with a low voice. Laura turned her head back. cough off guard by the reply.</p>
<p>Why was this turning to Laura breaking down now? Why was she pitting herself? She should be focusing on Natasha. She should be focusing on the woman that had been on the run for months.</p>
<p>"I regret what I did. I know I hurt you." The woman added. only making laura feel a pang of guilt in her heart.</p>
<p>The tears were already there before Natasha even let go of the sentence. They were already running. Laura didn't know she could cry about this anymore. She really thought she and emptied it all. She thought after crying for what felt like days, she wouldn't have anything left.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry I made you feel like I pushed you away. I never wanted to harm you, Laura." Natasha reached after her slowly letting her hand touch her arm. Laura could only look at it. Taking it in that Natasha at least was finally here. Back. Alive.</p>
<p>They sat there for a while. Not saying anything. Laura only sniffing trying to whip her tears while Natasha looked at her. She didn't want to turn this at her. She wanted to focus on the woman in front of her. The woman that surely was hurting both mentally and physically.</p>
<p>"You need to let somebody look at you, Natasha." Laura finally said. She tried to pull herself together, still, her voice cracked mid-sentence because of her crying, making her head scream at herself to seriously pull it together. She needed to stop. She needed to focus. She had one job. To care for the woman in front of her. To make sure she is fine. and then she needed to know what happened.</p>
<p>"No," Natasha said softly back. It was so calm. And her voice wasn't in any way sharp or threatening. Nothing that was really arguing against her. Still, Laura felt uneasy by the answer.</p>
<p>"Natasha. You… you are clearly hurt. I mean look at you. You… you…" Laura stopped again as she continued to struggle to get herself together to form sentences. "You were even hurting back then. Back in the o…" she didn't have the power to finish her sentence. She didn't want to say it. To put any memory back into that event.</p>
<p>"I'm sorry Laura. I won't let them" Natasha said tilting her head to meet her eyes. Her eyes were shining as they met hers. Telling her she wouldn't change her mind. She wouldn't let them close to her still.</p>
<p>And even if she physically was only a few inches away from Laura. It felt like she was miles away. As if she really wasn't even here.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>No… I will not give Laura a break. And not Natasha either. You guys, they are literally gonna fall apart because I am mean. Anyways… enjoy as always. I know I enjoyed writing this so xD.</p><p>Also, this was actually surprisingly hard to write. And this was also probably not the best chapter to come back to. It's just kinda complicated.</p><p>Hopefully, I'll get back into the flow soon. I will try to write every day. Before I could do a chapter every three to max five days. But I'm not sure if I am able to do that anymore xD</p><p>Red/ S-B</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Laura was sitting in a chair tucked into a corner trying to finish a few emails regarding some of the furniture they were looking at. While it wasn't ideal to distance herself from the rest of the Avengers like this, she just needed the breather. From the kids, from The Avengers. From everyone really.</p><p>She had taken one of the smaller common rooms. It was a living room with a small kitchen in it and was mostly used as a backup for the Avengers, or if some of them were having a date night or something. Basically, if some of them needed a break from the rest and also wanted an actual living room and kitchen to hang out in.</p><p>She really enjoyed the room and was hoping to maybe be able to make the garage back at their new home something like this. For a small escape for whoever needed it in the future. She still liked the study she had gotten access to. The one Natasha liked to use as well. But this was cozier in a homelike way.</p><p>She wasn't sure if anyone were aware she was here right now. She hadn't told anyone, but she was sure they would find her if they needed her. But as for right now, she was not planning on moving at all. The silence from just her own company was just what she needed. It was no sound from anyone else. No kids, no humans. Nobody typing on a pc or reading the newspaper. It was just silence.</p><p>Laura had just opened her last unread email on her phone when she heard the door open with a loud bang as it collided with the wall.</p><p>To her surprise, it was Steve who walked into the room with Natasha behind him. She lifted her head to see the two of them making their way over the floor in a fast phase. Natasha was pale and clearly tired. It was the middle of the day, but the woman seemed to just have woken up. Or not slept at all.</p><p>Steve on the other hand seemed worked up. He seemed upset as he walked. With a big frown constantly keeping an eye on Natasha as they walked barely watching where he was stepping.</p><p>"Nat, I need you to listen to me." The man walked past her and stopped in front of Natasha as he tried to block her from moving. He had clearly not noticed Laura, not looking around in his surroundings at all. And Natasha seemed too distant to do so too and mostly just looking on the floor which was very unlike Natasha. The woman only listed her head and looked at him for a second before pushing him softly away before moving towards the kitchen island. Her movements were slow as she moved.</p><p>"I don't need you to fuss over me," Natasha said with a very clearly tired voice still trying to get away from the man to make some distance.</p><p>"Well, somebody does. You haven't let anyone look at you. And what do you expect from me when you are clearly just avoiding everyone. You didn't even come to the living room today! How is that supposed to make me well better or believe you when you say you're fine!" Steve said continuing to push her more. Laura knew it was a bad idea, but at the same time Natasha needed medical care and she needed to start talking. Maybe Steve would be successful? She doubted it, but at the same time, she really didn't want to jump in now.</p><p>"Steve please just…" Natasha let out a small groan as she tried to finish her sentence. Immediately Steve ran up to her and was by her side in what seemed like a blink of an eye.</p><p>Laura could only watch as the blond pushed him away letting out another groan in pain, closing her eyes stumbling forwards, only to almost faceplant with the floor, barely getting saved by Steve at the last second who grabbed her arm.</p><p>"Friday get Maria." Steve's voice was shaking as he tried to hold around Natasha who only punched after him weakly to get him away from her.</p><p>It only took around 30 seconds before Maria ran through the door dashing towards the two of them. Laura had no idea how Maria was able to get here so fast, but now she was here in the room with a very worried look on her face.</p><p>She fell down beside Steve not even getting the chance to get close to Natasha before the woman tried to push her away. Maria threw Steve one nervous look as Natasha continued to struggle to keep her upright sitting position and the two others away from her.</p><p>"Friday, I need doctor Snow here right now," Maria said as she tried to work out how to help the woman who didn't let anyone close to her. The woman continued to both push and punch after Maria and Steve. But it was no hiding she was getting weaker. She clearly had no energy left in her, and when her body sent out a last wave of pain, Natasha had nothing left in her. Natasha let out a small cry as it hit her, falling onto Maria with a yelp holding around herself. Her eyes were wild, and Laura felt her heart cleanse so she watched Natasha cry out.</p><p>"It's okay Nat, she is here soon," Maria said, trying to some instructions to Steve by eyeing and nodding at him even though he clearly had no idea what to do with himself only looking at the woman.</p><p>Soon a relatively young woman came running through the door. She seemed to know Maria well based on the looks they exchanged. She immediately ran to the woman's side, helping Maria trying to get Natasha's clothes off to get to the base of the problem. Natasha hadn't let anyone look at her before, and they all knew that was a risk in itself, but now they could clearly see this was a bigger problem than expected.</p><p>When the doctor toucher her Natasha reacted instantly. Kicking after the woman as she continued to try to get closer. She was far from actually landing the kick. And Laura was well aware Natasha would have easily gotten away from them on a normal day.</p><p>"Calm down it's okay" The doctor tired as she grabbed something from her bag beside her. Laura had no idea what it was before it was already out of the bag and was moving closer to Natasha. Laura's eye widened as the syringe made contact with Natasha's arm. Immediately Natasha's body stopped moving and she let out a loud sight in what heard like relief. Her face softened and even from the distance, Laura could see the whole body finally relaxed.</p><p>She watches as both Maria and the doctor jumped into action the second Natasha lowered her walls. Laura closed her eyes as the woman started to cut the clothes off her. She knew what was there. She didn't want to see it again. She refused.</p><p>Laura didn't lift her head before she heard the doctor's voice say. "Take her back to her room." Her voice was soft. And she could hear her as she started to pack up her things. Probably ready to follow them into her room or something like that.</p><p>When she heard movement as they started to leave Laura opened her eyes to watch them go. To her regret she was just a bit too early, so instead of only watching their backs as they left, she was forced to meet Maria's eyes. They were wild. Angry. Sad. Aware.</p><p>She knew. She knew she knew.</p><p>Laura didn't sleep that night. She couldn't. She sat in the living room the whole night. Watching the stars pass and the moon rise. That was all she could do. She felt so guilty. She felt sick and didn't know what to do anymore. Lost for both words and actions.</p><p>It was around 5 in the morning when she heard the door open. She didn't know who she hoped it was. She just wished it wasn't Maria. But she knew it wouldn't be that simple. She knew it would be her. Who else would it be?</p><p>Maria walked over to her slowly before looking at her. Her eyes had calmed down now. She wasn't as mad anymore. But still, it was some anger left, and sadness, Laura noticed, only making her feel worse. She didn't know she could feel more shit than this. But somehow now as she looked at Maria, she did.</p><p>"You knew." Maria started slowly looking at Laura with two hurt eyes forcing her to look back at her.</p><p>"Yes." Laura only whispered not wanting to look at her but still ended up with her eyes locked into hers.</p><p>"Why didn't you say anything? She was in pain. She was hurting. She needed medical attention now and you knew it." Maria's continued looking at her. She didn't sound angry, but clearly sad. And Laura could only nod at this point. She didn't know what to even reply. She knew it was wrong. Of course, she did. But she constantly felt like she was doing something wrong. No matter what and who she was talking to, she always felt like she was doing something, everything, wrong. She had kinda had this feeling linger in the back since she got here. And it only got worse when Natasha finally came back home.</p><p>"She told me not to tell you," Laura whispered back with a low voice. She could feel her own tears behind her eyes now. At least she wasn't lying.</p><p>"When," Maria answered shortly.</p><p>"Christmas time. When she and Wanda came to the farm" Laura replied this time the tears broke through. "I didn't know it lasted. I didn't know she would let it continue to happen. I never thought she would." Laura said looking at the woman with hurt eyes. She didn't know why she was defending herself at this point. She didn't know what she even was trying to defend. She was wrong. She did herself <em>and</em> Natasha wrong. And Natasha was now playing the price.</p><p>Maria only looked at her before slowly nodding at the other woman.</p><p>They sat there for an uncomfortable amount of time just looking at each other, and when she didn't reply Laura ended up being the one raising her voice again. "How is she?" Laura asked looking down at her lap.</p><p>"She is alive. So that's something. She is beaten up. She is hurt. Broken ribs. Under nursed…. Other things… She is just not great. But she will recover. We just need to know why she would do this… all of this. I am gonna guess she didn't tell you?" Maria's voice was defeated. She didn't seem like she had much left in her either.</p><p>Laura shook her head. "No, she said nothing. Wanda only told me she came from a mission before they came to us. I know nothing about it nor why."</p><p>Laura watched as Maria nodded slowly before saying.</p><p>"Pepper is with her now. We are hoping she will talk sooner or later. Bucky doesn't want to talk anymore. Not until she will. He cares about her a lot. For some reason."</p><p>Laura nodded. She had noticed that too. How they seemed very close at this point. She didn't know they even knew each other at all. She knew he had tried to kill her a few times, but other that than she wasn't aware it was anything friendly in it.</p><p>"I just don't understand what you are thinking." Maria turned to her completely now and looked at her with a very serious look. Caught off guard Laura only shook her head.</p><p>"You haven't asked her to talk or helped us when we clearly didn't get through to her. Like when she was on the floor you probably could have forced her down knowing she would listen to you. You didn't move. But Natasha talked to you yesterday. She told me!" Maria stopped herself as her voice got louder, and Laura could already feel herself getting a bit stressed. She didn't know what to do now. She didn't even know what to reply at this point.</p><p>"And I get that you are confused and don't know what is happening. And I understand you didn't want to talk about something she specifically asked not to talk about. But you forgave her! After everything." Maria said, the last part only with a low voice. It came completely out of the blue and now Laura was beyond confused. Why wouldn't she forgive her? She could never picture herself forcing Natasha to do anything because they were close. What was she even talking about?</p><p>"You should be mad at her Laura. You should... be horrified. Terrified of her and what she did to you. She turned on you. And used your trust. I love Natasha I do but I'm not going to lie when I say, her turning on your family was like she turned on me. And I don't know if I'm ready to forgive that at the moment."</p><p>Laura looked at her stunned still completely lost for words. She didn't know what to even feel. Was that why she and been holding back? No! She wanted to give Natasha a new chance, right? She deserved it. Of course, she did. She would never hurt them. Even if what she had done was scary and questionable. She still trusted her. Right?</p><p>"All I know is that Black Widow isn't the same as Natasha. And I wouldn't trust her very much. She is fierce and powerful as hell. But she works alone. And I just don't want you to get hurt again." Maria looked at her for one more second before she stood up ready to leave. "I would suggest getting some sleep if I were you." She finished off before turning around walking out of the room not letting Laura reply to her.</p><p>Laura continued to look after her way after she had left the room completely. She didn't know what to do. She felt confused and lost. She didn't even know exactly what Maria had meant. But knowing it wasn't the time to just sit around here she finally pushed herself from the chair to maybe at least try to get some sleep. And if not sleep maybe she could at least talk to Clint.</p><p>Clint was to her surprise actually awake as she entered the room they shared. Sitting in the bed with his tablet in his hand. He looked at her as she opened the door carefully slipping into the room. The lights were on but dimmed, and she watched as he shifted in his seat as she moved closer.</p><p>"Didn't know you were awake?" Laura said carefully as she moved over to the bed to curl up in his arms. He followed her as she moved and opened his arms automatically as she got closer.</p><p>"Been awake for a while. Maybe 30 minutes." He mumbled into her hair as he tucked them under the cover carefully. His voice was reflecting her own low tone to try to keep the volume down not to wake Nate.</p><p>"Oh. I see." Laura said looking up at him. She could tell he was looking extra closely at her.</p><p>"You talked to Maria?" he said with a thoughtful voice. She looked at him almost surprised. She wasn't aware they had talked to.</p><p>"Yeah… she joined me in the living room," Laura whispered. She felt so out of place. She had recently. And she didn't like how they all seemed to talk about her with each other.</p><p>"She… she said she was surprised I forgave her?" Laura said looking at him with big eyes. She had, of course, told him about everything with Natasha and how they talked a bit in the study. He hadn't said much back then only listen to her. But now he seemed to know a bit more. As if he kinda knew where she was going already. The way he looked at her made her feel uncomfortable. She didn't know why but she felt like he too was judging her.</p><p>"Do you… think it was wrong too?" Laura whispered looking at him as if she really had done something wrong. And maybe she had.</p><p>"Would you be mad if I do?" Clint said as he continued to hug around her, petting her carefully. It felt so wrong on so many levels. He was going directly against what Laura really thought hers and also his view was on this. But also, against everything she thought <em>they</em> had with Natasha.</p><p>"But why?" Laura could only whisper. She didn't want to look at him anymore. She really didn't think forgiveness was wrong.</p><p>It was like he was reading her mind because the first thing he said was "Laura I'm not saying I think you being able to forgive is wrong." He stopped and Laura knew he wanted her to look at him. But she didn't want to. Instead, she continued to look at her hands as she listened to her husband talking.</p><p>"I just don't believe in forgiveness when you have to do it over and over again. She hurt you. And you know she did. She broke your heart. And this makes it sound like you two are in a relationship or something, but I'm serious. She hurt you. And she used the trust she knew she had from you, and us, to manipulate our actions. She- "</p><p>"But she did it to protect us!" Laura cut in turning around in his arms this time. Almost surprised by her own anger and voice as she actually confronted him this time.</p><p>"You don't know if that's all she di-"</p><p>"How can you say that! She would never put us or the kids in danger!"</p><p>"She burnt down the house!"</p><p>"She savaged everything she knew meant something to us!"</p><p>"She betrayed me!" Laura stopped. She looked at her husband's angry eyes before he let out a sigh. "She told me she would never let anything happen to the kids or you after I was taken by Loki. She promised she would always keep them out of danger." Laura looked at him still not wanting to say anything. She didn't even know what she could say. Instead, they continued to look at each other before she finally whispered.</p><p>"How do you know that's not what she did?" She watched as Clint's face softened before he pushed her softly away from his body to move out of bed.</p><p>"Well, if it is, she owes me a fucking apology and an explanation," Clint said looking at her before he moved out of the room picking the crying Nathaniel up and with him on the way.</p><p>Laura let out a loud sight as she finally got up from the bed. After her and Clint's small argument in the bedroom earlier the same morning, she had ended up getting left alone in the bedroom. She knew she had slept for around 5 hours, but it didn't feel like it, even if that was what the watch told her.</p><p>She felt exhausted. Tried from all that had happened the last two days. From Natasha falling through the door, collapsing in Maria's arms, and then both the conversation with Clint and Maria. She felt conflicted. Compromised. As if her feelings just stopped working. It was so much to take in.</p><p>"Laura. If I am not bothering you, Natasha is asking for you. She wanted me to alert you when you woke up."</p><p>Laura lifted her head as she listened to Friday talk to her. Her voice somehow seemed softer than normal. She didn't know how it worked, but it sounded different. Nicer. Sweeter almost.</p><p>She didn't bother to reply. She only walked over the floor and out of the room. She knew Friday could tell Natasha was on the way and she didn't have the energy to keep the conversation between the AI.</p><p>It took absolutely everything in her to walk up to Natasha's door and push the handle down under her hand. She could feel the door open as she let her thumb touch the sensor in the underside of the handle. And with one soft swift motion, the door opened so easy and smooth.</p><p>Laura took a moment just to look at the blond. She was still not getting over the fact that she was indeed blond now. It was very light blond with some darker browner roots. It really did look real. But it also looked wrong. Out of place. This didn't feel like the Natasha she knew.</p><p>She was pale. Really pale. With two tired eyes. Staring at her from her bed on the other side of the room. Two green eyes locked on her face. She could tell Natasha was analyzing her as she was analyzing her back.</p><p>Clearly, she had either been completely knocked out or she had finally given in letting the doctor look at her for real this time. She had a new bandage covering the cut on her forehead. Her whole upper body was wrapped as well with a brace on her shoulder too on top. It seemed like a lot. Even for Natasha.</p><p>She could see the bruises under the bandages and peeking out from under the small tank top she had on. Dark marks showing off every punch she had let connect with her body. Marks from rope and knives against her skin. On her arms and upper body. And hickies and bruises on her neck. From everyone that touched her on every wrong level. At brunt in her heart seeing all of them. It killed Laura knowing the woman let all of this happen.</p><p>"Couple of ribs fractured as well as the shoulder giving in," Natasha said as she watched Laura scan over her body, still not moving from her spot on the other side of the room. It was a wage description. And she knew the doctor had probably listed at least half a dozen other things. Because she wasn't dumb. She could see the damage on her body.</p><p>Laura only nodded looking at her. She could feel her heart really starting to ache. She hated watching Natasha in pain. But she also felt some serious guilt and she couldn't shake either one-off.</p><p>"What did she say to you?" Natasha pushed herself up in the bed and Laura could see as she closed her eyes trying to process the pain and energy it forced from her. She let out a loud sigh before lifting her right hand to her forehead holding over her face.</p><p>"I feel like I'm going to throw up. I don't know what she gave me, but I do not like it at all." Natasha mumbled leaning back on the headboard closing her eyes. Immediately the lights dimmed in the room and Laura couldn't help herself as she spun around in the room trying to understand how that even happened. Was Friday is here monitoring them?</p><p>"Are you okay?" Laura asked carefully.</p><p>
  <em>What an actually stupid question Laura. What are you even thinking does it look like she is okay?</em>
</p><p>She knew Natasha hated getting any types of drugs that were even just a bit stronger than your normal aspirin because it meant it would affect her senses. And was it one thing Natasha hated was it not feeling in control of herself? She rather tank every single gunshot in the world than lose control over herself and the situation.</p><p>Natasha let out a small laugh before shaking her head slowly. "I have been better. But also, worse. But I don't know if that's a good thing." She replied still with her eyes closed but still with a small smile on her face.</p><p>Laura was debating if she should move over to the bed or maybe stay where she was. But of course, Natasha didn't give her room to think about it for long.</p><p>"Laura, please. At least sit on the end of the bed or something I can literally feel your whole body think." She actually opened her eyes again when Laura finally moved. Now that she had invited her over, she decided she could join her up at the headboard carefully slipping down beside Natasha finally closing the distance between the two of them.</p><p>"Now answer me. What did she say? And please don't lie, you know I can read them as fast as you can probably think of them. Even if it slightly feels like the room is spinning" Natasha said with a soft voice making Laura nod carefully.</p><p>"She just wanted to talk." Laura tried. It wasn't really a lie. Just hiding part of the truth.</p><p>"And let me guess. She told you not to trust me." Laura stopped completely and just looked at the woman in front of her for a second. How did she possibly know that? Surely her body language wasn't that obvious that Natasha could actually get that from barely looking at her right?</p><p>"She told me she didn't know why I forgave you," Laura whispered making Natasha smile at her softly.</p><p>"Well to be fair, I don't know why you did either," Natasha said with a small laugh making Laura give her a surprised, and partly hurt look.</p><p>"I am very thankful you did. But you didn't have to. I really put you in danger. And I hid from you. All of you. You understand I need to earn your trust back." Natasha continued softly.</p><p>"I just don't understand why I shouldn't," Laura said with a low voice turning to Natasha. When Natasha didn't reply only looking into nothing Laura just stayed silent. The face Natasha wore now. It was completely empty. She was clearly still very affected by what had happened. But it was hard to get a read on her. It felt so unnatural all of it.</p><p>Laura closed her eyes for a second before she opened them in surprise almost as fast. Natasha was leaning on her shoulder now. Breathing peacefully as she continued to lean on her. Calm. Not doing anything else. Just sitting there so vulnerable for everything. Like she forgave Laura too. Betting on her own well-being that Laura wouldn't hurt her or push her either.</p><p>"Maria knows I know now. About what happened. What you let happen." Laura said with a small sigh, knowing she would ruin the moment. She could feel Natasha tense up beside her, but she didn't move her head from her shoulder still. Laura didn't want to say anything more if the woman did stay anything first.</p><p>"How" Natasha replied with a small sharp breath. Still not moving.</p><p>"Because was as there when you collapsed in the living room. And she saw my reaction. She saw that I knew." Laura only replied with a low voice, trying to keep it partly normal and calm at least. Even though she knew she wasn't very successful right now.</p><p>She could feel Natasha look at her, but she didn't want to look back, she didn't need to see her hurt eyes right now. She knew they were there. Looking at her.</p><p>"Right" the woman just answered slowly.</p><p>"You know you need to tell them what happened right. Why you did all of this." Laura said with a soft voice trying to talk as normally as possible.</p><p>"I don't think anyone would understand" Natasha replied with a small, sad voice.</p><p>"You don't know that until you try," Laura said turning to the woman this time, carefully so Natasha and time to move herself from her shoulder. The girl only looked at her not answering.</p><p>"Natasha, they need to know at one point. And I think you need to talk about it too."</p><p>Natasha took a deep breath and Laura watched her as her eyes looked down and closed for a second.</p><p>"I needed to go after him, Laura. Not because Steve told me, but because I know how awful it is. He was brainwashed and I know how that is, how that felt. I know how much it hurt to see part of your real-life just to get ripped away.</p><p>After everything happened under the accident. Wanda. It was like she opened my eyes and reminded me of the past. It's hard to explain how it felt. She wasn't in my head like she had done before. It was more… like she just expanded on my own feelings. And for some reason, I just felt and saw James, Bucky.</p><p>So, I let them lead me. All of the enemies I already made. Those who would know where he was. I let them do it. Let them use me as a toy. To play around with me. As long as none of you got hurt and it would lead me to him, I didn't mind. I just needed to find him."</p><p>Laura looked at the woman as she spoke. She didn't want to interrupt so she only listened, nodding slowly as the other woman spoke.</p><p>"But the deeper I went the more I found out. Things I don't think any of us knew. They weren't just one of them they made. They had made others. Stronger soldiers, worse than Barnes. And…I tried to go after them. It was either them or him. If they too were still loose or under somebody's control. I just needed to know."</p><p>Natasha stopped completely. She hadn't once looked at Laura as she spoke. And Laura had to move from her spot to get a good look at Natasha's small, sad face. She had closed her eyes and Laura could see how much this all pained her.</p><p>"But then I… lost myself. I lost myself in the community again and I didn't know what to do.</p><p>Part of me felt almost brainwashed again how just lost myself again. So, when I finally found Bucky and we could head home. I didn't know. I didn't know if I would be safe. Or if I could trust anyone. What if you went after him? Or… I ended up crashing with any of you.</p><p>He risked his life for me. Multiple times. And I never asked him to. I never expected him to either. He just did it, as I did for him. It felt like the old days. And I… I thought if this was like the old day you would never let me back. Because what if none of us ever did change? What if all I did was take a huge step back?"</p><p>Natasha looked at her, this time with tears in her eyes. Caught off guard Laura could only open her arms as the woman leaned into her.</p><p>"I thought I lost what I had with all of you because of what I did. And I didn't want to show Pepper or Maria or anyone what I ended up sacrificing just for him. For somebody, they don't even trust."</p><p>Laura held around the woman carefully and let her cry. The woman was shaking now, and she could feel her shirt getting wet with tears as the woman cried and cried. She didn't know what to do, Natasha was completely broken, and it was nothing to do about it. She had never seen her so devastated before. Part of her didn't even quite understand what she had just been told. It was so much to take in.</p><p>She couldn't say she didn't know where she was coming from and she was wrong. Because she wasn't. She was right. Everything she had said was real things she knew everyone had thought about. Bucky had been a murderer and none of them trusted him. The second he had shown up everyone had without question turn their back to him. Even Steve had been hesitant. And that was with Natasha around him, somebody they should have trusted enough to lower their guard at least a little bit.</p><p>And then there was Natasha. She had chosen to cut everyone out of her life for 4 months just to go after him. She had let people do things that never should be done. Letting people punch her, play with her, and torture her just to go after this one man none of them at this point in time could see any good in.</p><p>But of the first time, Laura realized why she let it all slide.</p><p>She knew Natasha would never do something like this if she didn't think the person was worth it. She would never do something like this if she didn't think the person was good. But it hurt so much to listen to her talk herself down like that. Especially when she knew, at the end of the day, maybe she was right, and the team wouldn't be able to understand as she did.</p><p>Laura had unwrapped Natasha herself and given her the same chance one time before. And while everyone had forgiven her and seen the good in her later on, Laura was the only one that really had had to deal with it. Clint was the one that had brought her in. But Laura was the first person Natasha had let in herself, and in return, Laura had given her all the time in the world to finally break out of her shell.</p><p>Natasha would never hurt her. She would never hurt her family. She knew what Natasha had done should have been every reason to turn on the redhead. She had gone against them and played with their trust. But Laura had been there for years. Slowly unwrapping Natasha as she got more real. And she too started to give Laura more and more of herself. And Laura knew that if Natasha believed in Bucky as she did and really thought he was worth all of this. She had to do the same</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This so so messy I'm so sorry. Red, again</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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